Dear Marie Claire Magazine,
My name is Tony Posnanski, and I am a writer. I am also a man who was well over 400 pounds for most of his life. I am a man who was morbidly obese, and one who had no confidence. I am a man who has lost well over 200 pounds. I have not been morbidly obese for well over five years now. I eat pretty healthy and I workout a good amount.
I have written to you for over three years now. I have written about the same topic. My writing has gotten better each time, yet I have been ignored. I never got a response.
So, you may be wondering why I am writing you today. Why would a man write a fashion magazine?
On October 25th 2010 you published an article called "Should 'Fatties' Get A Room? (Even On TV?)" It was supposed to be about a television show called Mike and Molly, but instead turned into this incredible fat hatred post. Where "fat" people are disgusting and they should basically go hide, how easy it would be to lose weight if you followed some easy steps, and the article even had one of the worst lines I have ever seen in print:
"Yes, anorexia is sick, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny."
Obviously people were outraged. Other people agreed. More and more people weighed in on obesity and overweight people. The post went viral. In fact, I think they spoke about it on The View.
Instead it brought me back to a weird place. See, I was that fatty. When I was over 400 pounds, my wife loved me just as much as she does now. I could not understand why at the time. When she wanted to hold my hand, I did not want to. When she wanted to give me a hug, I backed off. When she wanted to give me a kiss in public, I shrugged away.
I was wrong for doing all of that.
I was concerned about the way society viewed me. That I was going to be laughed at. I questioned how someone could love a "fat man".
The truth is, when I lost the weight, my wife loved me just as much as when I was over 400 pounds. Being overweight is not disgusting or gross. It is eating more calories than your body burns. People want to make it more than that. People who do not have weight issues want to tell you how easy it is to lose weight. I have a name for those people. It is called ignorant.
Instead of worrying about being laughed at or worrying about disgusting others, I should have worried about loving my wife. I should have held her hand and hugged her and kissed her in public. Because it is not disgusting. It is not gross. Love is love, and if society cannot accept it, then shame on them.
Years have passed since you published the article. I now realize that some posts are written for shock, page views and comments. I saw the apology as well. I feel that if you truly feel a certain way, then an apology is invalid.
Either way, I want you to see this for one reason. I have written about this numerous times. I want the editor to hear my response.
You asked a question. The question was: Should fatties get a room (even on TV)?
My answer is no. All people should love one another in public regardless of size.
And I owe my wife an apology because I should have held her hand when I was over 400 pounds, and not worried about what you thought.
Sincerely,
Tony Posnanski