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Dear 'Hot Mom' and 'Curvy Mom': Real Women Have Heartbeats

12/18/2013 12:53 pm ET | Updated Feb 17, 2014

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Maria Kang, otherwise known as "Hot Mom," is back in the news again. This past weekend she was banned from Facebook for making some comments about, in her words, "Obese women posing in lingerie." She went on a rant about obesity in America and was briefly banned from Facebook for using "hate language." Facebook later said they made a mistake.

Maria Kang absolutely fascinates me. I have written several different perspectives about her. The "What's Your Excuse?" picture of hers has been around for a while. I remember seeing it on my newsfeed over a year ago. I remember it because I thought it was cute. I did not really focus on the "What's Your Excuse?" tagline, but liked a picture of a mom with three kids. I was not offended. Not even close.

So, to me it was strange that all of the sudden this year the picture came under fire. Well, honestly it was under fire for a while, but not nationally. Numerous accusations of fat shaming and body shaming have been flying around. Maria posted a "non-apology," which did not really smooth anything over. I do not think she really cared if it did or not. She just was shocked that so many people were calling her a bully and a bad mom.

I agreed with Maria that she was not a bully or a bad mom at the time. I did not think her picture was meant at all to be in bad taste. It was a "fitspiration" meant to inspire her fans, not the world. I do not like "fitspirations," but some do.

I read her "non-apology" a few times. I read the words she wrote. Then I became offended a little. I became offended because everything Maria says is contradictory. She tells people to love their bodies yet is disgusted when an "obese woman" has the courage to put a photo of her body on the Internet. Maria talks about how she wants to help others, yet has no sympathy for those who struggle. She talks about people loving their bodies yet does not even realize that most "obese people" as she calls them post pictures of themselves AFTER eating healthy for a while. The woman she called "obese" lost over 100 pounds and has kept it off for over eight years and was proud of what she has accomplished! She brings up "obesity facts" that are laughable. Walk anywhere in America and show me 67 percent of the people are overweight. Walk into any hospital and tell me it is overrun by obese people. She talks about how her pictures of herself are not Photoshopped, yet the picture that went viral and made her infamous, is.

But she should thank every "hater" out there; they made her what she is today.

The more Maria writes and talks, the more she does not make sense. I have written posts defending her and bashing her. I think she wants to help people but truly does not know how to do so. "Tough love" is not being disgusted when any woman posts her body on the Internet.

Instead, she is just saying things to get a reaction. And is popular for it.

The post/movement she wrote about is this by Curvy Girl. At the same time, I do not agree with Crystal Bougon, owner of Curvy Girl either. She tried to start a "regular" woman movement, which is offensive since being "regular" is not based on how you look. Now, I think she had some great intentions trying to start a movement for women to post pictures of themselves in lingerie, and be proud of their real bodies. EVERYONE SHOULD BE PROUD OF THEIR BODY! I think all women are beautiful!

But she made one big blunder. She basically said that the women she caters to are "regular" women, and those "regular" women have curves. Well, that too is a form of body shaming because you are alienating every other woman without curves.

Saying "real woman have curves" is body shaming. Saying "real men go for curves and dogs go for bones" is body shaming. Posting pictures of Miley Cyrus saying she has no butt to twerk is body shaming. Posting pictures of women who do and do not "squat" is body shaming.

Posting a picture of a fit woman with three kids in and of itself is not body shaming at all. Posting a picture of a beautiful woman who is brave enough to wear lingerie should be empowering...

But both of their words make their movements obsolete. That is the real "shame" of this.

Who are they helping? People who hate "fat people" will always hate "fat people." The 19-year-old frat boy and the mom who fears being overweight will never love a "plus-size woman." A woman will feel they are being ridiculed because they have no curves. A woman who has told her whole life that she has"no ass" is not regular?

What good has come out of Maria and Crystal's words? Especially since both started with good intentions...

Maria can say it all she wants, but she does not seem to have empathy for those people who are struggling. She does not realize that there are a lot of people in a dark place and this is not the motivation they need. But, she did not need to realize that because her comments are for her fans. This is very acceptable in the fitness community. In the weight loss world, this is considered controversial.

And Crystal did not realize that there are plenty of "regular" women who are not "curvy," who are real. Lingerie models are just as real as curvy ones. I think that a model is a model; we do not need to add a plus in front of it. And honestly, the way you look does not make you "regular." The three numbers on the scale does not determine your self worth. But she also did not need to realize this because her post was for her fans. This is considered acceptable in the weight loss world. In the fitness world, this is considered controversial.

"Hot Mom" and "Curvy Mom" only separated women.

And everyone should know that all women are beautiful. And real women have one thing in common...

They have working hearts.