Monday night, on ABC's Dance War, the next season of celebrity contestants on the network's hit show, Dancing With the Stars, were announced. Unfortunately, the show did not see fit to mention the next season's most deserving "stars," the hard-working professional dancers whose jobs are to teach someone with little to no dance training not only all of the basics of 10 different dances along with difficult theater-arts tricks necessary to spice up routines and make them performance-worthy, but also must come up with creative choreography that will highlight that non-dancer's specific strengths while downplaying his or her weaknesses. Celebrities' pairings with the professional dancers has been mentioned elsewhere, on the internet and on other shows, but not in the main, most-watched broadcast.
Anyway, the celebrity contestants: most notable is Marlee Matlin, the hearing-impaired actress best known for her Academy Award-winning role in "Children of a Lesser God." One's lack of ability to hear music normally would impair ability to count beats and interpret rhythms, seriously hindering the dancer's musicality. Cynics may see this as the producers' money-driven attempts to throw a person with a "handicap" into the ring and see how she fares. But I'm hopeful that her presence will give audiences the opportunity to learn a great deal about alternative ways of "hearing."
Other female contestants are Priscilla Presley, American Pie actress Shannon Elizabeth, tennis champion Monica Seles, known for her comical grunts upon swinging her racket (the announcers jokingly surmised whether such guttural sounds would work better for the Latin dances or Standard Ballroom), Olympic gold medalist figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi, and actress Marissa Jaret Winokur, best known for her performance as Tracy Turnblad in Broadway's Hairspray.
Male contestants include: Miami Dolphins player Jason Taylor, Latin telenovela star Cristian de la Fuente, R&B singer and hip hop dancer Mario, comical actor Steve Guttenberg best known for his endearing performance in Three Men and a Baby, magician Penn Jillette of the famed Penn & Teller, and comedian and Howard Stern talk show host, Adam Carolla.
Professional dancers include the most celebrated dancer ever to grace this show, Louis Van Amstel, winner of numerous national and international championships who is returning after taking the last season off. According to Good Morning America he is to be paired with Presley. He's a very fast dancer and demanding teacher, so it will be interesting to see how well she, the oldest of all contestants and having no known dance background, can keep up with him.
The second most accomplished dancer on the show, Karina Smirnoff, who, before she left the world of competitive dance for TV was a top World finalist, is to be paired with Mario. While obviously an excellent dancer, Smirnoff's shown herself to be less adept at teaching contestants without dance background, so giving her an already-trained dancer will be a real advantage for the pair.
Mark Ballas, son of famed Dame of the Ballroom world, Shirley Ballas, is to be paired with Yamaguchi. Ballas, while an enticing Latin dancer seems to have a bit of an ego problem, likely because of his pedigree, and a tendency to outperform his partner with a plethora of bravura solo tricks. Last season he and one of the most talented dancers on the show, Sabrina Bryan, were booted off rather early, likely due at least in part to those issues. Hopefully, since I love his dancing, he learned his lesson and will take it down a few notches this season.
Several times national American Rhythm champion, the tall, dark and handsome Tony Dovolani will dance with Winokur.
Other professional dancers include the winsome Julianne Hough, the show's now two-time champion, and her brother, the equally likable, Derek. Julianne is pairing with Carolla, and Derek, with Elizabeth. Cheryl Burke, an excellent teacher, as shown by her past ability to lead unlikely winners like Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith to the trophy, will be partnering de la Fuente, making for a cute couple. Show veteran Edyta Sliwinska will dance with Taylor, making for quite the pair of athletes. Australian Kym Johnson will partner the large Jillette. Gentlemanly Jonathan Roberts will pair with the grunting Seles, and his wife and national Latin finalist, Anna Trebunskaya, will partner Guttenberg, making for a sweet pairing. Finally, newcomer to the show, about who little seems to be known, Fabian Sanchez will dance with Matlin.
As usual, there's a pretty wide variety of celebrity contestants. Several already have dance training, giving them a bit of an edge, although this sometimes works against them as expectations tend to be higher. Some have no actual dance training but are experienced entertainers, lending a certain performance quality to their dancing. Some are athletes, so have good physicality and sense of movement. And some -- most notably, Carolla -- are none of the above. Being largely a popularity contest, though, if Carolla has a good fan base, he should fare okay, at least at the beginning. The popular show will premiere on March 17th on ABC.