I thought it’d be fun to start a year-end tradition of sharing the funny things our kids say. Just in case you need a laugh after the holidays. (If you need more than a laugh, like a bit of a reset, try this simple happiness trick.)
The unsigned quotes below are mine. (For a while, I was good at keeping a file of these in Evernote.) Thanks for your great stories!
In October, I signed my 5-year-old up for bus pickup in the morning. I was relieved to no longer have to do my hair and makeup and wake my then 27-month-old–to drive my 5-year-old to school.
The first day that I went to get my little one from his crib, he said, "Me don't like you."
I said, "Why? I love you."
He said, "Mommy, go put your makeup on, then come back and get me, then me like you."
So I did it and when I went back in, he studied my face for a minute, then said, "Now me like you!"
Um, thanks for thinking of me…
My son was helping make up the weekly shopping list. His items included Oreos, chips, tomato soup and -- surprisingly -- Weight Watchers meals. I told him that he really did not need to eat diet foods. He answered, “I know; those are for you.”
My toddler’s arm touched the edge of a hot pan while she was helping me cook. I got out the aloe vera.
Her: Are you putting aloe vera on my burn?
Her, holding up arm and looking curiously at it: Talk to me, aloe vera. I’m talking to you.
I learn something new every day
Toddler holding both sides of her waist: “I can’t pick myself up!”
From the “You must be 2″ department
2-year-old, trying to snap her shorts: HELP!
Me: (reaching over, snapping shorts)
2-year-old, bursting into tantrum: Raaaaah! I wanted to do it MYSELF!!!
Me: Oh, I thought you asked for help.
2-year-old: Let me do it MYSELF!!!
Me, unsnapping shorts: OK, here you go. Go for it.
2-year-old: Raaaaah! I want my shorts snapped!
Me: You want me to snap your shorts?
2-year-old, crying: YES!!!
Me: Do you need to go potty?
Her: No. (Runs to potty) I need to go potty.
Dad to 2-year-old: I have a question for you.
2-year-old: OK, I’ll think about it.
2-year-old to taxi driver: Hi, what’s your name?
Driver: What’s my name? Ahmed.
2-year-old: Congratulations!
My 2-year-old is smarter than me
2-year-old, out on balcony, peering into pots with no plants: There’s water in this pot. There’s no water in this pot.
Me, looking up to see if empty pot is under balcony overhang: I wonder why that is.
Me: Mommy is not happy with you. Why did you take off your diaper? Why did you make a big mess in your room? Why aren’t you sleeping?
2-year-old: I don’t hopefully know.
My 6-year-old just looked up and said, “What are you doing?” I said, “Writing.” Then he followed, “Oh, I thought you were doing math.” Kinda lovely.
–Wendy Sue Swanson @SeattleMamaDoc
Me: Want to come to work with me and see what I do all day?
4-year-old: No. I don't want to be sad.
4-year-old: I drew you a picture! It says “I Love You…”
Me: Thank you! That’s so sweet. I love y–
4-year-old: …It also says “Some People Are Stinky.”
You better make-believe it
Her: Pretend you’re a fairy.
Me: Let’s pretend we’re not going to pretend for a little bit.
Her: No. Pretend you didn’t say that.
–John Kinnear @askdadblog
4-year-old: Mom, did Elsa freeze you?
4-year-old: You have white stripes in your hair.
4-year-old: So I’m magic?
–Tracy Morrison @sellabitmum
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