G.O.P. Ideological Purity Test

You must adhere to at least NINE of these truths. Less than NINE: We give you the rack. Less than SEVEN: We kill your family. Less than FIVE: We cut off your funding.
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You must adhere to at least NINE of these truths.
Less than NINE: We give you the rack.*
Less than SEVEN: We kill your family. **
Less than FIVE: We cut off your funding.

1.The earth is flat.
2.Small government, unless we're in charge.
3.Pro-life...till it's born.
4.Foreign policy: The Crusades.
5.Healthcare plan? Emergency rooms!
6.Respect your constituents: Big donors.
7.Internment camps - better than the fence.
8.Welfare is for the rich.
9.Melting icebergs means more water.
10.Closets are for brooms and gays.

*You think we're kidding? Charlie Crist used to be five-foot-two.

**Even if they're beards.

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