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Trudy Bourgeois Headshot

Need a Perspective Change?

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If you've known me for a while or followed along on social media, you know that we have a 30-year-old son with Down Syndrome. His name is Adam. And let me tell you something... that boy has taught me some of THE MOST POWERFUL life lessons over the years.

Here's one of them.

Adam has had MAJOR ear challenges throughout his entire life. When he was young it was a constant and painful issue for him. I cannot even recall how many different sets of tubes he had put in his ears... to the point that doctors concluded that they couldn't put anymore tubes in his ears. Especially his left ear. Our only option (besides having Adam go deaf) was to have a surgery done where they would take Adam's ear off of his head, rebuild his ear canal to his brain and then re-attach his ear.

He was 11-years-old.

You can imagine the prayers that went into this decision. Wow! But we finally felt that this procedure was the best long-term option for Adam's quality of life and health, so we moved forward.

After the surgery, Adam's entire head was wrapped in bandages. There was extra padding under the bandages, and, of course, there was swelling. His ear was there, mind you. And the surgery had gone extremely well.

The problem was that Adam could not SEE his ear. And because of that, he thought it was gone.

For a good 20 minutes after he woke up from surgery, Adam was adamant, yelling fearfully, insistently saying repeatedly, "Mommy, no ear. No ear." He was upset to the point of no consolation. Frenzied, really. He truly thought he only had one ear left. And no matter what we said, he just couldn't understand because he couldn't see it under the bandages.

I finally got him to lay his head on my lap. He laid quietly like that for about 5 or 10 minutes. Suddenly, in his sweet 11-year-old voice, he said, "One ear okay, Mommy. One ear okay."


That surgery took place almost 20 years ago, but to this day it still brings tears to my eyes to talk and think about it.

You see, it was all about Adam's PERSPECTIVE.

In those quiet 5-10 minutes, my sweet boy had made peace... with only having one ear! Let me tell you something, when I start getting sucked under by the trivial "stuff" of life today, I think of that moment with Adam. I think of his amazing ability to change his perspective. And then I think about MY perspective.

Oh boy...

As in, "Really, Trudy. Is this going to matter in 10 years? No! Then get over it!" If Adam could come to peace about having only ONE EAR, then I can keep this situation in perspective!

How about you? Is there something in your life that needs a perspective change? It is so easy to get caught up in "getting caught up," isn't it? Especially as professional women who wear so many hats each day. But just take a step back, breathe and allow yourself a moment to gain perspective.

And be encouraged by Adam... you can do it!