It's going to be another watered down, sterile, hit the snooze button Presidential debate tonight. Or will it? We went down to our usual Jamaican witchdoctor in Queens, poked a couple holes in our Bob Schieffer doll, in hopes of getting these fantasy debate questions added to tonight's list:
On National Security: Senator McCain....Sarah Palin, really?
On the Environment: Do you believe in unicorns? Do ya? We used to hunt them down in Texas.
The 9/11 Question: So who in the government was more responsible for orchestrating 9/11, Dick Cheney or Jenna Bush?
Job Creation: Senator McCain, how many people does it take to show you how to use your email? And on a related matter, to clean your houses?
International Relations: Have you ever eaten Ukrainian food? There's this great place on 2nd Avenue, what are you guys doing after this?
On Defense: Senator Obama, can I arm wrestle Michelle?
Agriculture: Senator Obama, what, in your opinion, goes best with arugula?
National Security: Sarah Palin vs. A Polar bear. Who would win?
On Health Care: Senator McCain, who brushes your hair?
Government Waste: Senator McCain, why do you think we should reward the Republican party after eight years of man-made Armageddon by electing you?
The Olympics: Who would win the swimsuit contest? Bristol Palin or Tom Brokaw?
Culture Warfare: Why are your supporters so racist? What's up with that! I'm Brian Fellows!
Bi-Partisanship: Senator McCain, if you had to be stranded on a desert island with Obama or Hillary Clinton, who would it be? And why.
Health Care: Senator Obama, how many packs a day?
International Relations: Senator McCain, you and your supporters do realize that just because a person has a middle name that's the same as the last name of a cruel, evil dictator doesn't make that person cruel and evil?...Just checking.
--Andrea Chalupa and Ariston Anderson
Got any fantasy debate questions you're praying get asked (and actually answered!)? Let us know!