On February 3rd of this year, the first National Women Physician Day was celebrated. This day also marks the birthday of Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell, the first woman physician in the U.S.
As a woman physician, I understand and appreciate this privilege. We, women physicians have come a long way since Dr. Blackwell's graduation. But we still have a ways to go.
We continue to face the challenges of the practice of medicine while being a woman. We still hear patients assume that we are the "nurses" and our male colleague are the doctors". We still get comments on our looks. We still get asked personal questions that male physicians "don't get asked. We are still seen as the "girls on the playground" of medicine. The number of women entering medical schools continues to rise despite such biases.
My first mentor in medical school, about twenty years ago, was a Cardiothoracic surgeon by the name of Dr. Sohaila Mohsin at the Aga Khan University in Pakistan. She was assigned to be my advisor and mentor. She was an extremely talented, humble and skilled surgeon who commanded a lot of respect among her colleagues. She practiced as a surgeon in Pakistan, a country where even the literacy rate is only 55 percent and even less among women. She was infinitely wise and would find time to meet with me in between procedures, mostly when she was scrubbing and would talk as the water poured through the tap and she meticulously engaged in the hand cleaning scrubbing rituals. Sometime she found time at the end of the clinic. However, half of the things she would say would be too hard for me to comprehend. I was just in awe of this woman who was a surgeon and seemed to know what she was doing. She had confidence and poise. What I internalized from her was that I could do it as well. She made me realize that being a competent and successful woman physician is possible. She seemed to hold it together and balance it all, work , family, academics and teaching.
A first year medical student really knows nothing about real life in medicine. It is years of uncensored look at life and death with all its disappointments, failures, heart break and successes that teach you "real life". Years of training, apprenticeship and hands-on learning with high stakes is eye opening. It requires lots of decision making and negotiating difficult choices. Sometimes, its the choice between eating lunch and seeing the emergency case, sometimes its a choice between leaving your child at home with a fever, to go round at the hospital, other days its coming home late and picking up dinner that you feel guilty about not cooking.
Women doctors spend more time in parenting and other household tasks. Being a working woman is an exercise in dealing with guilt. Guilt of not being there, guilt of not being a perfect wife, guilt of not being the perfect mom, guilt of missing games and recitals, and all the other things a woman is expected to do. Women physicians face unpredictable and long work hours. I still remember my anxiety returning to work after my maternity leave and handing my baby to my nanny as I left for the office. My heart was suddenly in two places, my baby and my work. Both I loved dearly. I remember how once I hadn't gotten much sleep due to the baby and seeing a patient who was having difficulty sleeping and empathizing with her symptoms as I struggled through my sleep deprivation. But this is what practice of medicine is like.
It is therefore not surprising that women physicians also tend to report more burn out rate than men due the myriad of responsibilities that they juggle on a daily basis.
We try and try to do it all well. Women physicians tend to spend on an average about 5 minutes more than male physicians with patients.We are good listeners. We are sometimes, caregivers for our parents and children and our patients. We spread ourselves too thin.
While biases among patients exist in regards to women physicians, many patients tend to prefer a female physician and a lot of female patients prefer to have a woman doctor. Women physicians also tend to be better at addressing emotional concerns of patients and are more likely to discuss those issues with their patients.
It is a tremendous honor to be a woman physician, the cost of this which is paid dearly in years all through our lives. However, we lead our daughters by our example. We love our profession and we give it all. We are there listening to you intently.
So, my dear colleagues, give your self a pat on the back for how far you have come, hug yourself for all the care giving you do, and smile for the all sexist comments about being the "pretty girl doctor" but still maintaining your professionalism.
You rock!! All of you, each one of you. I am glad you chose to be a doctor. The world is a better place for all you do!! Thank You to all my mentors and colleagues who guided and supported me through all these years of medical training and care.
Happy First National Women Physicians Day!!