At Long Last, Bangkok Teens Discover Sizzurp

Trendcasters scouting for in-the-know teens need not visit Bangkok. Apparently, in 2015, the edgy youths of Thailand’s capital have only just caught wind of Sizzurp, a.k.a. Purple Drank. They call it “ya pro,” short for “procodyl,” according to the Bangkok Post. The paper reports that Thai authorities have been clued in to “a new, harmful narcotic-like cocktail taken among high-school students who can easily buy the ingredients and search for its formula on the internet.”

Welcome to the mid-aughts, Thailand.

The Bangkok Post article explained ya pro as a “mix of soft drinks, cough syrup, relaxants and cold medicines.” This description doesn’t do justice to the exquisitely ratchet elixir. As we know, with help from such celebrity fans as Lil Wayne (who rapped about his love of Sizzurp in 2008 and was hospitalized for ingesting too much of it in 2013), a properly crafted cough-syrup cocktail is customarily served in a styrofoam cup.

As with Sizzurp, ya pro’s main ingredient is indeed cough syrup, preferably the prescription-only variety that combines codeine and promethazine. Add to this medicinal base a sugary fruit soda (and melted Jolly Ranchers, in the U.S. version). If you’re feeling festive, throw in a splash of Vodka and crushed painkillers.

Those who don’t have access to Rx-strength cough syrup can use over-the-counter NyQuil instead. Britney Spears famously sipped on a simple Purple Drank cocktail: NyQuil, vodka and Redbull. But, as this Daily Beast article pointed out, the Nyquil-based version induces an effect that’s more hallucinogenic than euphoric.

Of course, we must note that guzzling Sizzurp is an easy way to end up in the hospital. But this, too, is old news. At this rate, we can expect bath salts to hit the streets of Bangkok and lead to a Florida-style face-eating epidemic.

-- Theresa Fisher

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