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Finger Foods Beware: Proper Fare For a Sex Party

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Planning a sex party is no easy task. First, you have to figure out what sort of theme you want to have. Themes are important because they determine the attire that the party goers will don. Then you have the sordid task of choosing your guests, which is harder than you would think. After all that, you must decide what sort of food and libations you will be providing. Libations are generally easy -- a full bar, water and mixers -- but where the majority of people fail in their sex parties is with the food they choose to serve.

Now, before you go down the road of, "Who are you, the sex party food police?" -- yes, I kind of am. Due to my unique style of writing, people approach me with topics they think are important, and apparently a lot of people feel strongly about the cuisine they are served at sexy parties. Foods you should and should not serve at a sex party have come up enough in conversation that I feel a piece is merited.

Let's begin with why food is an important thing to factor in for sex parties. People horrify me with tales of hummus, gazpacho, garlic bread, and the dreaded cold cut/cheese trays. Food is not the only thing going inside you at events like this, and some foods you simply do not want to follow. I will begin with the no's:

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What Not to Serve. Photo by Julia O. Test.

  • All food that has really strong, intense flavors like garlic, cayenne, and curry should be avoided.
  • That cold cut and cheese trays were ever thought of as a good idea for sex parties horrifies me. The most used things at sex parties are fingers, whether you are eating, fingering, smoking, or whatever, we use our hands for everything. Why you would want a food choice that is picked up with bare fingers is mind blowing. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a cold cut platter on full display at these events.
  • Chicken wings, meatballs, complicated cheese dips, while delicious, have no business at a sex party. Mexican, Indian, and Italian foods are also ones that you want to stay away from, due to the potential for disaster. Why people think they should feed people to the point of bloating at a sex party is beyond me.

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Yes to Cupcakes. Photo by Monika Thomas.

Now, here are some ideas for food that fit into the "Yes" category of what to serve.

  • Fruit is always a great thing to serve: strawberries, pineapple, grapes, watermelon, oranges, etc. If you make a fruit salad, you need a serving spoon and a fork to eat it with, hence better hygiene.
  • Also, vegetable trays, carrot sticks, celery sticks and cucumber slices are a good idea.
  • Cookies, popsicles, truffles, vegan snacks, even almonds or certain types of nuts are all wonderful choices.

The main thing you want to think of is the ambience and sensual presence that the food brings out. Eating a strawberry together is way sexier than sharing chicken wings or jalapeno poppers with a potential play partner. At the crux of this issue is the simple fact that you are at a sex party, not a dinner or tapas party.

This piece reminds me of how much I love living in this city, and how much I love my job. Keep it sexy, folks.