By Julie Miller, Vanity Fair
While some Americans continue to analyze the winning and losing gameplay of the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers, we opt to evaluate the winners and losers of what many considered to be the feature performance at Sunday's Super Bowl in New Orleans--Beyoncé's energetic, expertly-choreographed, 14-minute halftime show.
Winners
Rubin Singer, the Jason Wu of the Super Bowl. Beyoncé elected to wear this lesser-known New York-based designer during her choreographically grueling performance. In addition to designing Beyoncé's laser-cut leather leotard, Singer also created dominatrix-style get-ups for Destiny's Child members Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland.
The Mrs. Carter World Tour. After her show-stopping performance, Beyoncé announced a tireless world tour that kicks off on April 15 in Belgrade, Serbia. Last night's mini-concert stands as a hypothetical preview of the tour, which is less than three months away.
Beyoncé's calf muscles. Workout courtesy of Proenza Schouler's stiletto-heeled booties, which we estimated to be at least four inches in calf-wreaking heel height.
Backing tracks. As promised, Beyoncé sang live during Sunday's super-charged performance, eschewing any noticeable backing track--which proved educational for backing-track non-believers. Although it was an impressive, energetic, and triumphantly executed production, the audience likely realized that it is nearly impossible to sing a recording-studio-quality "Crazy in Love" excerpt while writhing and triple-stepping around stage explosions--especially in a venue as cavernous and apparently acoustically challenged as the Super Dome.
Super Bowl audience members with a taste for dominatrix-wear. Beyoncé shed some of her Rubin Singer-designed leather layers in the first minutes of her performance, tossing them into the audience.
Us Magazine. The preferred outlet for "sources" closely associated with Camp Beyoncé, the magazine continued scooping several halftime stories on Sunday and Monday--including a firsthand account of Jay-Z and Beyoncé's post-performance embrace, as well as a behind-the-scenes update on several last-minute halftime-show changes.
"Fire-shooting guitar player," now considered a viable career option.
Losers
Parents of hopeful fire-shooting guitar players, who now have to explain that "fire-shooting guitar player" is more of a once-in-lifetime, novelty-cameo option.
"Bills, Bills, Bills" Fans. While we can all agree that Destiny's Child members Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams were winners of Sunday's halftime performance, their 1999 single "Bills, Bills, Bills" fell victim to a last-minute set change. Reportedly, the song ended up not flowing with the rest of the set during rehearsals, so the trio swapped out the song for "Bootylicious."
The new Destiny's Child album, Love Songs. Beyoncé was reportedly slated to lead the group in a performance of "Nuclear"--the sole new release on Love Songs--but opted for the old track "Independent Woman" instead.
Ratings. Although Sunday's Super Bowl broke a ratings record in metered markets, Deadline reports that Beyoncé failed top last year's performer, Madonna, in ratings measured during the halftime-show half-hour.
Anyone who bet that Jay-Z would make a cameo appearance. Instead of duetting with his wife on their shared single "Crazy in Love," the rapper/entrepreneur apparently stayed backstage of the Super Dome for moral support.