Fred Armisen Steals My Laptop, Interviews Himself

I didn't think it was possible, but the Oasis just got even cooler. In addition to Will.I.Am, SNL's Fred Armisen also just came by to hang out, drink smoothies (he likes the chocolate kind), and, well, take dorky Photo Booth shots with me and my little MacBook.

We set up shop in the spa room, where some lucky (or possibly annoyed) customer was getting a facial. Sorry, whoever it was! It was very crowded everywhere else.

Anyway, before I could even get started, Fred stole my laptop and started writing up his own interview.

This is how far he got:

And then I stole my computer back and told him that if he was going to ask such silly questions, the very least he could do is answer them. And so:

Fred. You are so cool. What's that like?
Theres a lot of pressure. I try to maintain a high level of coolness. Which means I've gotta look at lot of magazines. I've gotta look at a lot of ads to see what people want to wear.

So who's your idol? Who's got the level of coolness to which you aspire?
The little robot from Wall-E.

[I think I audibly squee-d here.]

You seem to be very handsome. What's that like?

It's fun. People on the street comment on how handsome I am. You know, people stop and say how angular my face is. Like, "I noticed your profile, and I said to my husband, now that's a profile."

Uh-huh. OK, well I've gotta ask about stress relief, you know, unplugging, recharging, etc. What do you do in your down time? Do you have any down time?
I don't. I don't mean that as a joke. I have an inability to relax. I try to make every day a work day. I get pleasure from work...I try to think of sketch ideas, stand-up pieces. I am incapable of leisure and leisure time.

Do you practice yoga?
No yoga. I can barely sit down.

And how long are you in Denver for? What are your plans? When can we hang out?
Just one more night. Doing a stand up thing for 23/6 [HuffPo's comedy site, where he will be performing with HuffPost's own lovely Rachel Sklar]. I'm just gonna say hi to everybody, shake hands with people and take pictures.

[OK, so fine, I didn't actually ask him that last question...But I wanted to! That counts, right?]

Is this your first convention?
First convention.

And how has it been?
Exciting! Yeah, everyone's been so nice to me. I like seeing all these people together who I know I agree with. That's kind of nice. And everyone's just been so, so sweet to me. I can't believe it. People on the street, everyone. Everyone's been really cool. Lots of pictures.

Good. I'm glad to hear that. So, is there anything else you want to add? Last words, etc?
Yes. You are particularly rude. Put that down.

You're trying to get me fired.
That's my statement.

***

And that was the end of that, but not the end of my time with Fred. At this point, he once again stole my laptop and bemoaned the fact that we didn't film the interview using PhotoBooth. He knows more about my laptop than I do. But apparently, I have the old version of PhotoBooth, which doesn't allow for filming. So instead we took pictures. Here they are. And yes, I look that tired. It's been a loooooong (but awesome) couple of days.

This is Fred's hand.

And the piece de resistance...

***

And lastly, here's a little video clip of Fred at the Oasis. It's almost as if you're right here with us!