My Spiritual Journey: In Which I Go To A Yoga Retreat
You will never guess where I am right now. I'm not even sure I believe it.
I am on the 6:51 train heading back to NYC, having just left a yoga retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY.
That's right - you're not seeing things - I was at a Yoga retreat. Part of a larger program called Off The Mat - Into The World, this retreat was about taking the lessons from yoga and applying them to the outside world, and social activism in particular. Needless to say, having gone to approximately 3 yoga classes in the last 3 years and having not done a whole lot of socially active things, unless, of course, we want to take the liberty of defining social activism as being, well, active in a social sphere, as in, to be more specific, how I spent my last Saturday night, then I might be considered it, but only marginally so, as it should be said that I generally spend 3 out of every 4 weekend splayed out on my carpet (the couch is far too limiting) watching movies on demand (Blockbuster is 10 blocks away and Netflix, though genius, involves a mailbox).
Anyway, after introducing myself in the introduction circle as the person who was there at the behest of the Huffington Post and explaining (lamely) that the Living page involved things like "social activism" (See: The Giving Life) and "spirituality" (See: The Inner Life), and defensively announcing that I, unlike everyone else, was not a yoga teacher, nor a not-for-profit founder, I passed the sunflower on to the next girl and was heretofore known as "the writer."
We began with Yoga, which itself began with and involved dancing, which was actually great because there is nothing I love more than dancing like an idiot. For reals! I know how to dance well-ish (as in, well enough to not look the fool while drunkenly dancing on a banquette or seven), but my favorite thing to do is dance around my apartment like the uncoordinated idiot that I actually am. (Seriously, ask my boyfriend. He, without fail and with plenty of chagrin, asks me every time, "Who taught you to dance?") So, ice broken and limbs limber, it was time for lunch. Bad news! The food was all veggie. Good news! It was delicious.
The rest of the day, and well into the evening, involved a bit of the technical stuff (I bet you didn't know there were 7 chakras!) and a lot of heart-opening stuff which made me feel even more fish-out-of-water than the sauteed kale and garlic lentils. But, I suppose, that is exactly the point. And to be honest, while I managed to nimbly avoid spilling my soul and crying in front of perfect strangers, I thoroughly admire those who did. There is something to be said for the absolutely astounding amount of positive energy radiating from every single person in the teepee-shaped pavillion (aka conference room). And while I was by no means mentally prepared to get all hippy-dippy and lovey-dovey, I wouldn't necessarily be averse to it on my (as of now mythical) second time around. It's an amazing and incredibly safe opportunity and the fact that these are perfect strangers makes it all the easier. There is no judgment and everyone there is (and I say this with nothing but warmth in my heart) all hippy-dippy and lovey-dovey and why wouldn't you want to open yourself up to that?
But, moving on, the next day began with, oh, you know, your average THREE! HOUR! yoga session. Which absolutely blew my mind. And this, I think, might be the one problem to come out of this retreat. Seane Corn, yoga instructor extraordinaire and founder (with Hala Khouri and Suzanne Sterling) of Off The Mat - Into The World, absolutely and without a doubt kicked both my physical and mental ass. I'm not sure any yoga class will ever, ever live up to the intensity and individual instruction of yesterday's three-hour yogaic marathon. And while I myself did not shed a tear, I completely understand why, after holding a right-sided pigeon pose for 5 minutes longer than I thought possible, women around the room began to cry. There is something so cathartic, so emotionally draining about such physical acrobatics. Because, like Seane and Hala and Suzanne impressed upon me, yoga is about so much more than the physical, and I don't think it takes a yogi or a guru for anyone to understand that we, as humans, hold our emotions in our body. I get migraines, and I get them almost instantaneously in times of physical, mental, or emotional stress. My doctor calls that a "trigger" - yogis call it a blocked chakra.
And so, while I began the trip thinking I was entirely out of my element and cringing at the thought of sharing my "wounds" to 30 other beautiful people, I ended it feeling like, at the very least, I was a part of something. So, when a fellow retreat-er crawled up to my mat after the three-hour ass kicking and quietly said to me, "You did really well there," I did almost (almost!) cry, but I thanked her. And when Suzanne saw me struggle to bend into a bridge, came over, and let me grab hold of her ankles for support, I thanked her. And when the women who were brave enough to share their "wounds" with me cried, and smiled, and thanked me, I thanked them.
Because, at the end of the day, and especially at the end of two days, it felt good.
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For once I would like to say out loud, that Yoga doesn't make you smarter, more beautiful, more healthy, more happy, more open emotionally, or more wealthy than anyone else. And it doesn't necessarily make you more stronger.
If you have a high tolerance for pain, and or live in parasympathetic excess, then practising Asana's can be a realitvely easy.
America is such a perverse culture, we seem to feel the need to twist things to fint our own view of the world, regardless of the outcome.
So why do Yoga at all then?
There are great reasons to practise, however none of them were addressed in this article.
Reason number one:
Starting out the morning with a 60 second Yoga stretch is better than a cup of coffee, better than an extra hour of sleep, and keeps me energized all day long.
"Mountain pose"to "toe touch" then to "Downward Facing Dog"
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Then do "high lunge" on left side
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Then do "high lunge" on right side
The back to "downward facing dog"
Drop to flat to ground face down and slowly push up into "Sphinx pose "
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Slowly Rise to "Plank Pose"
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Then stand one foot at a time and back to mountain pose.
You can do all of this in a minute or two and will feel wonderful the rest of the day.
Do not drink any caffeine before Yoga.
After Yoga you probably won't need any.
Nice post!
Maybe it works for some, but I've never found spiritual peace by folding myself up like a pretzel.
Your honesty and ability to be so authentic is what keeps me reading. Nice balance of using your heart and your mind to write! I think you've caught a bit of the yoga bug.
Namaste!
That photo of Seane is amazing!
I am so proud of you Verena.
You have journeyed to a place I love and to something that's been integral to my well-being for most of my life: yoga. It is an essential practice to maintain flexibility, and in more than the physical sense.
Namaste, dear writer.
~Kristine
P.S. Don't you ever lose that wacky sense of humor of yours. I love it.
P.P.S. Pilates next? Whaddya say?!
Man, I wish I could do what the woman in the picture is doing.
I have been doing yoga for years, but only a half hour or forty-five minutes a week. I can do splits and headstands, but that is some serious strength and flexibility.
Gee, this post is all about you and nothing about Seane nor her organization. I literally sat at her feet for a couple of hours as she explained why she started Off the Mat. I was amongst 50 others, all in rapt attention, feeling her energy, heart and humanity. At the end, I asked her name. Later I realized she's a big deal in the yoga world. But you'd never know from listening to her. Here's a woman who could live a life of luxury and riches, traveling around the world, leading yoga classes, writing books and creating/promoting more DVDs.
But no, she travels to Third World Countries around the globe, trying to save young children from the bondages of sexual slavery.
What sets so many yoginis apart from others is their deep spiritual, mental, physical and emotional improvement arising from yoga and their drive to share that growth. For many, it's improved abilities to handle stress. For others, it's about giving back in a bigger way. That's why Seane and her colleagues started Off the Mat. Look behind many of the environmental, economic, social, progressive political and health movements and you'll find more yoginis than you realize. IF you are willing to look beyond your own narrow point of view.
It's not all about you and your judgmental, preconceived ideas. Yoga can unite us, within ourselves and with others. What does "yoga" mean, if not that?
Namaste.
See Verena von Pfetten's Profile
Hi Jennylens. You're right, this post is about me. And my experience. Funny how that is.
Anyway, the point is that while I may have not given Seane her due in this post -- that's because this was not the place I planned on doing it. Seane is an amazing woman, and I had a wonderful and blessed opportunity to be able to work closely with her at this retreat, and will, in the future, have more opportunities to work closely with her on other things. Her value, talent, and energy was not lost on me.
So, please don't criticize me on that front. I'd have to say that's actually very un yoga-ic and un-uniting of you.
Also - as a fan of Seane, please keep an eye out on the Living page, as there will be plenty more of her to come.
Yoga? oh yeah that new fad...it's only been around for a couple of thousand years.
Verena - you should make the next stop on the journey be a week (or better yet, a month) of Ashtanga practice. For reals!
See Verena von Pfetten's Profile
I'd love to! I'm still looking for a place I can regularly afford. Got any ideas?
Commenter above:
"I have always wanted to escape ..."
And that's exactly what it is, nothing more, nothing less: escape.
Especially from anything spiritual, which is the opposite of escaping.
Which is why this Yoga retreat, like so many other white-lighty enterprises (all of them?) does nothing more than pimp spirituality, which is to say sell a lot of nothing to sad Xanaxed suburban happies.
Wake up, idiots.
You obviously could use a little yoga.
Sorry life at home doesn't sound too pleasant for you. Could you imagine Jesus taking the time to reply to such a positive experience with such vitriol?
Wake up, friend.
Hey,
I started yoga eight years ago when I was pregnant. My practice is now four or five days a week, and I do a style of yoga probably close to the kind that Baron Baptiste does--sort of a power vinyasa. And ass kicking hour or so version of your yogathon.
I used to have asthma. I have been asymptomatic for over seven years. As long as I do my yoga, no asthma. I slcak off, and the breathing problems come back within a couple of weeks.
I used to have three migraines per week. Now, I only get them in June with the intense weather storms.
I had a bad injury to my foot and ankle last week. My ortho guy (HARDLY a birkenstock bering patchouli type) said that i would have broken both my ankle and foot if it weren't for my yoga practice, because of the strength and flexibility it gave me.
i have a congenital degenrative spinal disease. It has been completely stable for the last five years. No more deterioration. No surgery.
My back ortho and my foot ortho wish they could get all of their patients to at least TRY yoga for eight weeks. Modern medicine meets pragmatic benefits of yoga. Imagine. That.
Good luck with your own journey.
My point summarized: Yoga's not the solution for every problem, but I can't think of a single area in my life that hasn't been improved in some or great measure by my yoga practice.
well done Verena! Sounds like a wonderful experience
Wow, what a journey! I have always wanted to escape to one of these type of total zen retreats. I have felt like if I even attempted it, I would walk in and immediately be exposed as a fraud. I have nothing about me that is low key or zen, I am so high strung.
I wish they had one of these for insane/intense/nuts people specifically? Besides rehab or a mental institution :) I feel too guilty otherwise crashing the yoga party. I would likely crack a stupid joke at an inopportune time, fart, sneeze, be unwilling to silence my blackberry or something equally not retreat-like.
I think it is really cool that you stepped outside of your comfort zone and got your zen-on. Your spiritual journey is coming along swimingly.
I hesitated before reading this piece because all I've seen in this column prior to today is a lot of intellectual posing and an attitude of "I'm too smart for this stuff." However, "there's a lot more under heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophies," to paraphrase a certain great writer.
Imagine my surprise! Nice job. This column may yet live up to its billing.
You go, girl!
See Verena von Pfetten's Profile
Well, thank you.
Though, to say my side, I'd always thought this column and my posing involved a lot of "Well, what the hell do I know?"
But, then again, there it is: What the hell do I know?
But really, I do genuinely appreciate your opinion. There's a learning curve for all of us. (Meaning: me.)
Hey - if you find one like that...let me know. I'm a spaz and can find four million things to think about while I'm supposed to be "clearing my mind".
I am a tightly-wound, emotional, loud, outspoken woman. When I'm calm, some think I'm upset.
Santa Monica launched yoga's explosive growth in the last decade. LA's expensive, competitive, stressful, cut-throat; anything but laid-back. Yoga is for everyone, no matter age, sex, body or lifestyle. Tons of yoga styles, so find a class, book or DVD to suit your needs.
I borrowed DVDs and books in my library system. I attended free, intro classes to find my comfort zone.
The more I got into the moment, the more I got out of yoga, so I stopped making comments and jokes. I watch what I eat so I move with comfort, stability and strength.
No matter how involved in my work/art/projects, yoga is the best part of my day.
Why should I, or anyone, feel like a fraud or guilty? Read "Yoga for Women," about women whose lives changed, with inspiring poses and simple instructions.
It's such a surprise, since rediscovering yoga, now so many books, DVDs, magazines and online sites, yet self-imposed negativity and limitations still exist.
We don't have to struggle alone. The more we pay attention, the more help, support and freedom for a better life is literally at our fingertips.
Peruse yogajourna
Namaste.
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