Step III Of My Spiritual Journey: In Which I Take A Religion Quiz

It's official. I've found the most genius thing ever. And let me preface its introduction by saying that I am the queen of procrastination, and I am most definitely always looking for the easy way out. So, now that that's said: there's a Belief-O-Matic Quiz (no joke) on BeliefNet.com that will tell you "what religion you...ought to consider practicing." Thanks, Beliefnet! You're right up my alley!

Oh, and here is where I preemptively respond to commenter criticism. Yes, I know it's superficial to take a quiz to determine my religion. No, I don't actually think I'm going to get anywhere spiritually using this method. And maybe I did just because it was FUN. Actually, that's my argument: I'm on a spiritual journey. And yeah, spirituality is all honesty/sincerity/finding God/soulfulness, but that doesn't mean it can't be fun and/or funny. And since I was very honest, very sincere, and almost a little too earnest for my own good last week, I felt morally obligated to mix it up a little bit this week. And also, quizzes are fun. Particularly if you're a 12-year-old girl (which I am not), or just feel like re-living your identity-less and desperate prepubescent years (which I do). So, there.

Back to the quiz. It's 20 questions, multiple choice (varying from 3 to 6 choices), and you also rate the importance of the particular issue at question, relative to your beliefs. For example:

Question 2.*

Are there human incarnation(s) of God (or of gods/goddesses)?

1. God is (or gods/goddesses are) supreme, and no incarnations.
2. One incarnation
3. Many (or countless) incarnations
4. No particular incarnations because God is all and all are God (or God is in all).
5. No incarnations as there is no God. Or not sure. Or not important.
6. None of the above

What priority do you place on this selection?

a) High b) Medium c) Low

Or, one of the more straight forward questions:

Question 14.*

Homosexual behavior should be regarded as immoral or out of harmony.

1. Agree
2. Disagree
3. Not Applicable

What priority do you place on this selection?

a) High b) Medium c) Low

So what religion should you practice if you love the gays but feel "not sure or not important" about everything else?

Unitarian Universalism! It's the religion for everybody! Literally!

Unitarian Universalists believe that there's a God. Or no God. Or possibly a bunch of gods. They believe that hell might exist, or it might be a state of consciousness in life or death, or maybe it doesn't exist at all, but if it does, you can get your (possibly extant) salvation from Jesus, doing good deeds, or by being re-incarnated as a frog. Also, they're pro-choice. Translation: they're remarkably indecisive or just remarkably inclusive (Hey! It's the Club Med of religion!), with a dash of practical liberalism on the side. Sounds just like me. (Including the all-inclusive thing. Mmm, free drinks...)

If you're wondering about the runners-up, well, wonder no more. I'm 98% compatible with Secular Humanists, who believe that deities and their incarnations don't exist/are unimportant, that there is no afterlife, and that salvation can be found in good deeds. Oh, and also - they love the gays! And the poors! And divorce is a-ok! So basically, they're your average HuffPo readers. (Zing!)

I'm also 82% Neo-Pagan, 47% Scientologist (Hollywood, here I come!), and 31% Mormon. But don't worry, I'm only 18% Jehovah's Witness, so I'll totally leave you and your godlessness alone.

But enough about me! I want to know about you guys, my loyal readers. (Well, those of you that aren't Secular Humanists, that is.) What are you? And if you don't know, take the quiz! Because it's fun. And because I said so.

I'll be back next week! And, since I've figured out what I am, or what I could be, hopefully I'll be slightly more spiritual, no less sarcastic, and with lots more to post about. 'Tis the season, after all. Cheers, and Happy Birthday Jesus!

** My answers, should you care: #2. 5, C; #14. 2, A.

Comments

[ABailey]

1. Liberal Quaker - 100%
2. Unitarian Universalism - 98%
3. Neo-Pagan - 89%
4. Reform Judaism - 84%
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestant - 82%.
9. Secular Humanism - 68%

[onlinereader]

If you would like more REAL info about Jehovah's Witnesses on the web be sure to check out www.Watchtower.org

[derik]

As a Secular Humanist myself, I tend to think that the people of religion are important for our continued evolution (and ?survival). Their essence is embedded into our non-molecular genes (memes), both micro and macro levels. With such magical and supernatural meme systems providing the code to regulate behavior or expression systems, we can now rest easy that some "wicked" things are appropriately suppressed. Without such suppression, these people of religion could start replicating out of control. When things like that happen, chaos (or the reverse) creeps in. So, for your journey you could study how all these molecular systems work. Then jump out of the molecular into the non-molecular world and everything suddenly becomes clearer. My personal opinion is that the word spiritual implies something magical or supernatural. So, I suggest you drop the spiritual and just call it your journey or quest towards entropy or something like that. Obviously, what is clear to me does took some time to evolve for me. So, there is now magical switch to turn on.

[January]

Not to spoil anyone"s fun, since being able to have fun, or at least to celebrate, is an essential feature of genuine religion, this exercise asks, "where do you fit in when religion is treated as a choice of pigeonholes?"

The question not asked is, "What does religion have to do with organizations or institutions?" Yes, the conventional view is that religion is found in temples, churches, mosques, synagogues, ashrams, etc. Anyone who has gone looking for religion in such places comes to realize eventually that one also finds there an absence of religion as great as its presence. That can be a valuable lesson.

Philosopher Alfred North Whitehead cited religion as what we do with our solitariness. That is to say, we cannot avoid religion except by avoiding ourselves, by not being ourselves.

One great religious leader also suggested that when we pray we should retire to a private space and close the door. Religion is not about display. No one else can decide for us what it means to be religious.

The better quiz, therefore, amounts to "None of the above." Where is it allowed to be no one else"s business? And I do mean "business."

[mouselion]

I'm 40% Extraterrestrials Visiting on Holiday, 40% Woodland Pagan Creatures Blending Into the Scenery (Including the City), 10% Quaker, and, 10% Hedonist. All four, religiously and occasionally spiritually (when I'm lucky).

[besomeoneyoulove]

This test was awesome. I liked it because as ridiculous as I thought it would be going into it, it really asked interesting, thought-provoking questions about my view of the universe. Plus, my actual religion was #16, hahaha. Makes you wonder...

[LeftCoastLefty]

Yeehaw! I'm 100% Secular Humanist. The only thing that worried me was the 12% Roman Catholic. That 12% of me needs to be found and stomped to death immmediately.


Oops. Violence. That probably just dropped me to 96% Secular Humanist.

[Merlin7]

BeliefNet should change its name to ReasonNet and try promoting that for a change.

Religions, all of them, are vestiges of primitive tribalism, and pose a growing threat to humankind. If you don't believe it, just check out the news headlines.

[JJ2014]

For real-life info about the JWs:


SUMMARIES OF 650 JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES LAWSUITS & COURT CASES


The following website summarizes over 350 U.S. court cases and lawsuits affecting children of Jehovah's Witness Parents, including 200+ cases where the JW Parents refused to consent to life-saving blood transfusions for their dying children:

DIVORCE, BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS, AND OTHER LEGAL ISSUES AFFECTING CHILDREN OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES

http://jwdivorces.bravehost.com


The following website summarizes 300 lawsuits filed by Jehovah's Witnesses against their Employers, and/or incidents involving problem JW Employees:

EMPLOYMENT ISSUES UNIQUE TO JEHOVAH'S WITNESS EMPLOYEES

http://jwemployees.bravehost.com

[JimReed]

After reading all of your quiz results now I would be afraid to try it. I would hate to find out I matched up with other people.

[edresearcher]

I'm half Irish and half English.

[Ais4Atheist]

Seems like my screen name is accurate, and i am the typical huffpo reader...
"1. Secular Humanism (100%)"

and for the rest of the top 5...
"2. Unitarian Universalism (99%)
3. Liberal Quakers (96%)
4. Neo-Pagan (88%)
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (80%)"

and i found this stat funny...
"26. Roman Catholic (10%)"
...since I was baptized Roman Catholic, went through first communion, and was even confirmed.

All that was mainly because it was decided by my mom to go through it, and kind of a family tradition. All that was what I was "suppose" to do. I never truly believed everything from the bible. But once i started freely thinking for myself I denounced the religion, and all other organized religions.

[SolarPowerGuy]

My top result:

1. Secular Humanism (100%).

And, for all of our conservative friends who accuse us progressives of sympathizing with Islamic terrorists, here are a few more:

19. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (25%)
20. Islam (25%)

See? I hold your beliefs, and Muslim beliefs, in equal esteem.

[bradio1]

I'm 100% Neo Pagan!!! What the hell is that? Is that wizards and stuff?

[xenubarb]

Turns out I am 30% Scientologist and mostly Universal Unitarian.

Darned if I can figure that one out! Scientologist? I think L. Ron Hubbard was a yucky con man and I am not covered in dead space cooties.