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Vicki Darger

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A Real Sister Wife Speaks Out: Why I Chose Polygamy

Posted: 10/03/11 08:50 AM ET

Vicki Darger is married to Joe Darger, who is also married to Alina Darger and Val Darger. They and their 20+ children live in suburban Salt Lake City.

Many people's reaction to plural marriage could be summed up in one word: yuck. They assume the men are perverted or have a huge ego or are overly sexual. Quite the contrary: If a man has any of those characteristics, his plural relationships are not likely to last. I certainly wouldn't stay with Joe if he had any of those traits. I'm not here to be a toy for a man, nor are my sister wives. Most men don't enter this lifestyle so they can have more sex; rather, they have a sincere sense of a higher purpose. I'd rather share Joe than have a hundred men of lesser quality to myself. I consider Joe to be a monogamist. He is faithful to me, and faithful to the people I expect him to be faithful to.

I've learned during my darkest times just what a gift this lifestyle can be. After a five-year break between pregnancies, I had trouble conceiving my seventh child, and then had a miscarriage. I feared my childbearing days were over, but I finally got pregnant again.

I was extremely excited at the prospect of once more being a mother to a newborn. My relationship with Joe was at an all-time high, and my interactions with Alina and Val flowed easily. My life seemed perfect.

But something felt off right from the start of this pregnancy. My morning sickness, severe from the outset, never let up. I also was plagued by constant headaches and exhaustion. A sweltering heat wave that summer made me feel miserable. I couldn't sleep at night because I was too hot; as a result, I was too tired to get up early enough to exercise, which always made me feel better during my pregnancies. The final link in that chain of consequences was that I gained weight. And it was all Joe's fault! Joe couldn't win no matter how hard he tried to meet my emotional or physical needs.

I couldn't stand myself, but that didn't keep me from lashing out at Joe, which added to our strained interactions. Our nights together were filled with tension, and instead of taking time to talk and connect, we would tumble into bed exhausted. It didn't help that as my relationship with Joe withered, his relationship with Alina blossomed. For the first time in my life, I wondered if I had the strength and staying power necessary for plural marriage.

I was a grueling ten days overdue when labor began, and it was the roughest delivery I'd ever experienced. That rigor of delivery led to a much slower recovery than I was used to.

That's when my emotional spiral really began. I was on a crazy-train I couldn't get off. I'd go to my closet to get dressed while the baby slept and end up on the floor crying for long periods of time. Every thought and emotion I had conflicted with another. I didn't want Joe anywhere near me; I was upset when he stayed away. I knew something was wrong with me, but I was unable to accept any help or advice from my well-meaning mother, sisters, and sister wives. I wanted to get out of the house; I wanted to stay shut in so no one would see how much weight I'd gained. I wanted God's help, but I had a hard time praying.

I needed help, and I finally got it when I hit bottom and took my family's advice to seek outside assistance. I began getting vitamin B shots weekly, started exercising again, and joined a support group for women from the polygamous culture. The therapist (who was not a fundamentalist) helped me understand more fully how crippling pregnancy-related depression can be.

In the end, what got me through this rough time was the steadfast devotion of my husband and my sister wives. They never gave up on me. They saw me at my worst and still loved me. When I was unable to give my children all the attention they needed, Alina and Val were there to make sure they were cared for and loved. Joe never stopped listening or walked away, even when my criticisms stung. I came out of that experience more grateful than ever for my family and for the resilience of my relationships.

Living in a couples' world, as I call it, makes our lives harder than if we were part of a community that accepts plural marriage, such as Centennial Park in Arizona or Pinesdale in Montana. But even in those communities, there are many different approaches to relationships, just as there are in monogamy. Some women have completely separate lives from their sister wives, with very little interaction. Some live near each other, but not together. And some live just as we do, all in one house. At the personal level, there are some women who have domineering personalities that affect their relationships with their spouse and sister wives, but alpha females who dominate relationships aren't exclusively found in polygamy.

In our family, we don't have any sort of hierarchy among the wives. When Val came into our family, she instantly became a full and equal partner. We've created a marriage that is a true collaboration, which ensures that our opinions are valued, our needs met, and our lives tightly linked together.

Living the way we do, all in one house, can be stressful, no doubt about it. Did sharing a house with Alina and Val add to my struggles when I was deeply depressed? Maybe. But I also couldn't have survived that time without Val's support and understanding, or without Alina's unyielding patience, her help with my children, and her faith in me. It works for some people to live together, for some to be married, and for some to love another person of the same sex. None of those relationships is immune from the challenges we've faced in our family. But this is the lifestyle that works for me, the one I've chosen.

This post is excerpted from "Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage."

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11:38 AM on 10/10/2011
The only thing that would make a plural marriage seem preferable to one man and one woman becoming "one flesh" has to be the off-course state of mind of men and woman today. It's like adoption being a better choice than a child being with its two biological parents. Something has to be wrong in order for the "original naturally purposed arrangement" not to be the "best" arrangement.
01:46 PM on 10/10/2011
What "original naturally purposed arrangement" are you referring to? That seems to assume that no form of broader family structuring occurred in human history. There is no evidence of that - in fact, the opposite applies.
Your need to pathologise other people's lifestyle options is unfortunate. There is nothing wrong with someone having love for more than one person.
My partner is in love with two men. I am happy for her. I have the greatest respect for the other man in her life. I certainly do not feel as though there is anything wrong with anyone in our family structure. It is not about religion, it is not about having multitudes of children - it is simply about recognising that people can love more than one person and celebrating the joy that this gives to that person.
02:42 PM on 10/10/2011
I am certain that you feel no less right in your statement than I do in mine. My Mom and I argued a lot when I was younger, she said "You think you're right all of the time"...I told her "Yes, just as right as you think you are" One of us is, one of us isn't.
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Jock4uni
Fiscally conservative and socially progressive.
11:37 PM on 10/10/2011
So, if your female partner wants to have a child and is offering herself to both you male partners during her fertile period, and a child is born – then who will be father of that child – Should is then be decided y a DNA test?
08:10 PM on 10/13/2011
You'd have to help me understand where you get the "original naturally purposed arrangement". It seems that you have an intuition of what that is - so, great, live that way. I have a different one. It seems intuitively obvious to me that we should both have the right to choose, and follow our own consciences, rather than have laws dictate to either of us what is right or moral.
08:38 PM on 10/13/2011
"original naturally purposed arrangement" one man, one woman produce a child and parent that child together. Adoption would only be a better arrangement if for whatever reason the man and woman who created the child are not mentally, financially, emotionally or physically able to parent the child. Something would have to be 'wrong' for adoption to be "right".

By the way, most certainly we must each live according to our own conscience, laws or no laws. We do not disagree on that.
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07:49 PM on 10/09/2011
Nobody talks about the taxpayer cost--legally he is only married to one wife--the other "wives" are single mothers, and are collecting beaucoup taxpayer monies--welfare, foodstamps, WIC, childcare suabsidies, daycare monies etc etc. Interesting that the $ equation is pretty much squelched. He is not paying for 20+ children--you are!!
05:58 PM on 10/10/2011
" and are collecting beaucoup taxpayer monies--we­lfare, foodstamps­, WIC, childcare suabsidies­, daycare monies etc etc."

Not in this case. Read this excerpt: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/14/love-times-three-our-true_n_962606.html "We’ve never received welfare or relied on food stamps."
03:49 PM on 10/09/2011
It sounds like a great relationship. I am glad your husband and sister-wives were supportive and helped you through this rough time.
08:11 PM on 10/13/2011
Agreed!
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nikanj
free the fnords
02:04 PM on 10/09/2011
I'm not at all sure that i could even tell these women apart
if they all wore their hair the same way. They look like identical triplets.
What's with that ?
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dcruz1122
01:52 AM on 10/09/2011
This is sad actually that these women feel they have no real other choice. The man has his cake and eats it too. How nice it must be to be him, to come and decide who he wants to have at any given moment while the women stand back and let it happen. Maybe idont understand this lifestyle but it seems to me that its really just about sex and this man having as many different women to chose from to get him off. Its disgusting.
08:14 PM on 10/13/2011
I had that reaction too, at one time, but experience has changed my mind about it. I have tried monogamy and polygamy, and right now polygamy is my choice.

However, it's clear you haven't actually read the book, or even read the whole post. This man does not get to choose who he is with - he has to go to whatever bed he is scheduled to go to. The women make the schedule. He doesn't even have a bed or a room of his own.
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GTWiecz
Sociologist, Liberal with fiscal accountability, a
05:43 PM on 10/07/2011
Until I see one wife with several husbands, I am not approving of this lifestyle :)
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Jock4uni
Fiscally conservative and socially progressive.
11:37 PM on 10/07/2011
So, you would approve of polyandry!

BTW, Draupadi had 5 husbands. She had five sons, one by each of the 5 Pandava brothers!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/2716_PandavaDraupadifk.jpg.jpg
01:33 PM on 10/10/2011
Reply Pt 2
Too many relationships are harmed because one or the other partner discovers feelings for another person and assumes that this means they must not love their original partner. I say hogwash to that. Feelings of love are human.
Try to honestly consider this - when a second child comes into our lives, do we suddenly reduce or stop loving our first child? No, of course we don't. Love is not a single channel option. Institutions that date back to ancient times seem to want us to think of marriage in that fashion, particularly the Greco-Roman model of woman-ownership.
But modern society does not need to be so profoundly limited in its scope.
I have never been happier - and no, we do not see ourselves as sharing a wife. The word sharing simply does not apply - that implies some level of ownership. We have the same woman in our lives and that gives us a common bond, which is a positive.
01:33 PM on 10/10/2011
I am in a successful poly-union as the second male. I find it intriguing that the gender balance becomes an issue for people's ability to accept other people who have discovered that they can feel love for more than one person.
And please, try and avoid the apparent need to express power positionings regarding the doling out of approval or disapproval regarding other people's lifestyles. Is that necessary?
Many people seem to think multiple partner relationships are all about sex. Yes, partners have sex - but let's face it, it is normal for marriage partners to have sexual relationships - dualistically arranged or poly. It is a constant thing about humans. Just because there are more than two people in a partnership doesn't mean the whole thing is based on sex though.
Love and support are constant. My partner discovered her capacity to love more than one man by surprise - not through religion. There is way too much justification of this lifestyle based on religious for my liking, as none of us have strong religious attitudes (quite the opposite for a couple of us in fact). It is about humans being humans. Interestingly, she has encouraged me and the other man in her life to consider the possibility that we too might have the capacity to love more than one person. Neither of us have acted upon this, but it is something that we are open to.
RealistBC
Micro-bios must pass muster.
11:59 AM on 10/07/2011
I'm not opposed to polygamy, but the women I know would never agree to such an arrangement. I wish your article explained better why you did, because I still don't understand how women can share a man and still like and respect each other.
08:01 PM on 10/13/2011
Well, you might find more about that on my site: www.polygrrl.com. I am the second of four women with one man, and not for religious reasons. It just works for us. On my site, I've tried to explain a lot of the questions I see people commenting about on sites like this, and I write more every day.
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MarcEdward
likes all cats more than most people
10:54 AM on 10/05/2011
20+ kids?
What the F?
If somebody had 20+ cats, they'd be called mentally ill, a "hoarder".
Connect the dots.
03:49 PM on 10/05/2011
From being involved in animal rescue I have learned of Patricia Whiting. She had 20+ cats living with her until she passed away. She was a state legislator and active locally and nationally to improve the environment. Cat rescue was a way that she gave back to the community. I believe her town has a day named after her.

What conclusion should I draw about her having so many cats and her amazing life accomplishments?
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Tulka2
Solidarity. Courage. Humor.
04:00 PM on 10/09/2011
Glad i read down before i posted.  So true.  It's the hubris, isn't it?  It's the crazy certainty that the world needs their kids.  Clue to the clueless....the world needs fewer humans and more elephants....just for instance.  More gorilla space.  Hell....even more big cat space.  More grizzley bear space.  Fewer Mormon boys who get kicked to the curb when they become sexually needy. Even the Mormons don't want them.
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mnyobpres
10:12 AM on 10/05/2011
If Vicki feels in her heart that is what she should be doing with her life, then Vicki! enjoy the ride of your life choices. You have what you have chosen....
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b4pangea
Insert clever micro-bio here
06:11 AM on 10/05/2011
Mostly, I think this is their business and if it works for them, eh, fine.

I wonder, though, if plural wives like Vicki feel compelled to keep having one baby after another in order to stay relevant in the marriage. The sentence "I had trouble conceiving my seventh child" kind of ran into a brick wall for me- what, you haven't fulfilled your duty with SIX?

It also occurred to me that this won't likely get a sympathetic reaction from women who've had great difficulty conceiving ONE.
09:13 AM on 10/05/2011
I don't think women in polygamy feel they have to keep having babies to feel relevant in their marriage, but maybe in their religion. The "go forth and multiply" is not just a Mormon belief, it is also prevalent in Catholicism (belief in no birth control) and some Evangelistic faiths (i.e. Duggars).
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MarcEdward
likes all cats more than most people
11:44 AM on 10/05/2011
Making a baby takes a lot of somebody, I can only imagine how much her life has been shortened by having 6.
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Missy Ruth
Oregon Native
05:29 AM on 10/05/2011
I am glad you came out of your depression - that sounds rough. I also wonder if your living situation made things more stressful, because you had more than yourself, your husband and your child to be concerned about - you also had the complicated dynamics of your husband's relationships with two other women, the inevitable comparisons and insecurities that came up for you, and living in an environment where you were constantly seeing other women being more functional than you were . . . yikes, talk about pressure.

I think you have taken on a marriage with extra stresses - many extra stresses. I hope you continue to find support from those OUTSIDE the plural community to strengthen yourself and enable you to continue to be in touch with who you are and cope during the different phases of life as we age and our family dynamics change. I am so glad you did so when you were suffering from depression, because I know of many women in plural marriages (and traditional marriages) that do not get help for themselves and things do not end as positively.
08:07 PM on 10/13/2011
I have found in my relationship that if I am having a difficult time, having the other sister wives around helps. In monogamous relationships, when I was going through a stressful personal time, and there was only one other person with me, I'd demand more of them than they could give, and there wouldn't be enough people giving to them to sustain that level of support. Ditto when I was the one giving the support.

With sister wives, there is a built-in support system that is strong, stable, and more available than any other friend or relative usually would ever be. Sometimes you don't actually need a man - you need another woman.
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Missy Ruth
Oregon Native
10:52 PM on 10/13/2011
I agree about that, 100%! And I have not been in a plural marriage situation so I cannot say if this is true or not, but it just concerns me because although I adore my female friends, living with several other women and sharing the same husband has all the potential to be a very stressful situation - life gets so busy that even with one man/one woman it can take real effort to keep the intimacy vibrant and consistent. When one man needs to share his emotions and time and resources with multiple women, I think each woman suffers since she is having the level of intimacy she could be having lessened. I also know that even the sweetest women can get snippy and hostile or gang up on another women or talk behind each others backs . . . it's just a complicated situation to put yourself into. Comparisons and criticisms and opinions between women can be quite strong and I would also think it could be quite stressful for the husband to play peacemaker or remain neutral.

I do realize that monogamous relationships are done for religious reasons, and that you meet the challenges they present as changes to strengthen character and refine good qualities like love and generosity and forgiveness. But those are very high expectations to put on oneself! : ) I am very glad you are happy - that is what counts!!
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Missy Ruth
Oregon Native
10:54 PM on 10/13/2011
Oops - I meant to say in my comment that I do know POLYGAMOUS relationships are done for religious reasons (most of the time) and that they are chances to refine one's character, etc.
03:57 AM on 10/05/2011
"I'd rather share Joe than have a hundred men of lesser quality to myself."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Those aren't the only two possibilities. What about a third: have Joe to yourself. And is sharing Joe your choice, or Joe's?

To those who say consenting adults should be able to live as they want, I say the husband is the only consenting adult in this group. The three wives are adults who were indoctrinated by their religion. They had no other choice but to live this way.
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GTWiecz
Sociologist, Liberal with fiscal accountability, a
05:39 PM on 10/07/2011
"I wanted God's help, but I had a hard time praying." The power of brainwash.

The husband was cheating on her with the first, and she accepted. What woman with 6 children thinks she has options?
11:45 AM on 10/10/2011
"I'd rather share Joe" - but you do because you have no choice.

"have a hundred men of lesser qualify to myself" - You CAN'T have a hundred men to yourself and you know it....
12:34 AM on 10/05/2011
But honey you did not have to put so much pressure on yourself to have the seventh child. Perhaps it might be the effects of having fertile sister wives that a mom of six does not get to turn the page on the baby making days and relax and enjoy the bigger kid phase with its little pockets of parent freedom. It sounds like you had the full blown, all out pregnancy & postpartum depression. Your sister wives really helped you through it but I believe that your sister wives may have really contributed to it too.
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
10:49 PM on 10/04/2011
Smokers like smoking. Junkies like heroin. Fundamentalist mormons like polygamy - who ever woulda thunk it?!?
10:09 PM on 10/06/2011
This is to my earlier post- I'm talking about my husband's Dads (2) wifes, My husband had only (1) one wife and that is me!
04:08 PM on 10/09/2011
Many polygamists in the US are not Mormons.