Be Very Afraid of The Hockey Moms

Like 37 million American viewers last Wednesday night, I sat transfixed as I watched the previously unknown figure of Sarah Palin turn herself into the angel of the Republican party. But the burning issue in my mind was: what is a hockey mom? OK: I am British, and I've never touched an ice hockey stick. But as a New York mother, I don't believe the subject has ever come up at the school gates. After all, our offspring are just five. They're still learning to skate. Still, after listening to Palin, the reality that my sons, New York born and bred, might soon take up hockey hit me like a weapon of mass destruction.

"Hockey moms", according to the websites, play by different rules to "soccer moms". The latter, lucky things, get to bask in warm sunshine because their children play a sport outdoors in pleasant climates. A hockey mom, by contrast, saves on everything, including heating bills, to pay for her childrens' pursuit of an expensive sport.

There are three types. First, the X-treme hockey mom. She knows all the coaches at the colleges and the rankings. She sounds truly terrifying.

Then there is the Power Play Hockey Mom. She organises all the games, raffles and Bingo nights. She is definitely a fleece-wearer.

Then there's the "Cool-not-cold Hockey mom" -- who lets Dad drive the kids to the games while she stays in bed, sure that sleep is the most essential requirement for the household leader. Should anyone in this family want to play hockey, this is the role I will be adopting.

Obviously the hockey mom is a regional phenomenon. Few Manhattan mothers describe themselves this way -- yet it occurs to me that both the X-treme mom and her "power play" subordinate would in fact translate very well in New York. As Dr. David Anderegg, author of Worried All the Time: Overparenting in an Age of Anxiety and How to Stop it, describes it, "[The hockey mom] is saying something powerful: They are not covert [unlike soccer moms]: their aggression is right out front."

Well, aggressive parents is a breed overflowing in New York.

I am really startled by the number of times I am told by proud parents how smart a child is, how good-looking, how talented. So, you turn up at a school concert or play expecting to see either a young Laurence Olivier or Mozart and you watch something closer to Miss Piggy and Kermit from the Muppets.

But this is America where, regardless of reality, all offspring are prodigies. The hockey mom, particularly the X-treme hockey mom, believes this. Of course, she does. Doubt is not in her vocabulary. As Palin says, she's a pitbull in lipstick.

This article was originally published by the London Evening Standard .

Follow Vicky Ward on Twitter: www.twitter.com/VickyPJWard

Comments

[bobbyrobby]

I am from Canada, and I go to the arena to watch hockey at the local level all the time.

A hockey mom from my experience is a women who yells at her 14 year old son to hit the other player, beat the hell out of him, clean his clock, and when her son doesn't come through - look out.

Up here we are actually trying to figure out how to get these "moms" undercontrol. They are out for blood most nights. What actually drives them week after week is beyond me, but after the season is over, your glad not to have to see them over the summer.

[Buki]

Like you, Vicki, I am a (fairly) recent transplant to the United States, having previously lived in England. I find the level of frenzied interest over the whole Soccer/Hockey Mom thing incredibly baffling.
I also feel somewhat disenfranchised because I am not a Mom, and therefore find it difficult to relate to those I refer to as the UP-VJJ (Uterus Power by Vagina) Vote. I find it worrisome that such a large demographic of women are attracted to a candidate because they at some point, pushed a baby out of their birth canal (not belitting the experience but it is hardly new). As for whether the woman they champion is qualified for the job, who cares?

I imagine that if an UP-VJJ Voter had a rotten tooth and needed a root canal, and she had a choice between a male dentist with solid medical qualifications and a fellow (Hockey? Football?) Mom who pulled an overnighter to read the Idiot's Guide to Performing Root Canals, she would promptly trust her chompers to her fellow UP-VJJ Mom. Why? Because she can "see herself" in that drill-wielding woman, and nothing else matters. She'll take the pain. It is all part of UP-VJJ solidiarity.

[mredder4]

"Hockey mom" is a media invention. It's a phrase that Palin used once or was used to describe her, and some lazy journalist (are there any other types, these days?) decided that it was the best two-word blurb and began making every effort to turn it into a catchphrase for the election. Verdict? Success. Americans will spend less time analyzing if giving millionaires tax breaks will help their middle-class families and more time comparing themselves, favorably or not, to some not-at-all-middle-class family from Alaska. Alaska, where living there gets you a multi-thousand dollar check every year, unlike the 49 other states in the Union.

What is a "hockey mom"? It's a make-believe demographic who's influence is inversely proportional to it's existence in reality. It doesn't exist, therefor all effort must be made to appeal to it.

[JeannieZ]

My husband is Canadian, and as soon as he hear the term "hockey mom" applied to Palin he said "she sounds like one tough broad...hockey moms are scrappy." I have no doubt she chose that moniker early in her political career to enhance her image as a fighter. Of course, most of America doesn't get it because we're sweltering under an ever hotter sun while waiting in our SUVs to pick up our kids from their sissy soccer games.

[EvasDaddy]

Good piece, Ms. Ward. Thanks. I know I'm not alone in my amazement over Palin's soaring popularity. My hope is that she very soon is forced to address us in person and answer the many questions we all have. I am personally not interested in the trials and tribulations of her family (or their successes, for that matter), but I am intensely curious about her views on foreign policy, the economy, health care, and all the other issues important to me.

[Openeyes]

Thought she was a hockey mom, turns out she's a hockey puck.

[Texas4Obama]

Hockey MoM in my book = cheerleader.

And let us not forget the old saying - a pig with lipstick is still a pig.

[JillQ]

A hockey mom, in Palin's case, is a mother of a kid who played hockey. Period. I doubt her girls play.

[limerica]

If you're a victim of brutal rape or incest,
"You will have that baby," Palin insists.
She's the Queen of Extreme,
There's no in between,
A heartbeat away? Surely you jest.

[derik]

I am still trying to figure out whether any of her kids actually play(ed) hockey. After all, I understand to be a hockey mom one has to have kids who actually play hockey. Beyond that, there is a minimum time in years before one actually becomes a hockey mom. After all, it seems some kids do not move to the 2nd year. They switch (flip like a bridge from somewhere) sports. My understanding is that hockey takes quite a large physique. Also, I think it is a guy thing. I think, 2 or more hockey kids makes a hockey mom. Looking at the arrows in the Palin quiver, I think they definitely don't seem to have 2 or more big guys. Then again, 1 kid can be relaxed from the requirement. The only difference is 2 or more is probably a real hockey mom, while 1 kid is a hockey nun (yup, nun makes sense).

[Henry]

Reminds me of the description of Lake Wobegon "where all the children are above average" .

Hockey is blunt agressive and straightforward. Foreign policy and matters of government require a more subtle, nuanced approach for compromise that prevents escalation and disarray. Little George has no skills of the softer, more subtle approach. Yet Palin and Buxh each describe themselves as christian. Hard to imagine. Hockey is not God's game and neither is hunting for "sport".

[MPeter]

Beautifully done. Thanks Vicki. I could not agree more. We live in a land of make-belief; where every kid is supposedly gifted, drop-dead gorgeous and could begin auditioning for Miss Universe as soon as they can pronounce their name and the words, I am American....lol. How else do you explain how Miss run-up Alaska is now closer to the 'nooklear button' than any woman who has been in public life longer than Sarah Palin has been alive!

[JeannieZ]

Ahem, that's "noo-cu-lar."