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Can Crazy Witch Christine Win Delaware? Maybe She Can!

Posted: 09/20/10 06:22 PM ET

I know, I know. Coons is 11 points ahead. O'Donnell's dabbled in witchcraft. She's said masturbation's like adultery and mice have fully functioning human brains. Also: "Wives must graciously submit to a servant lead, and that is God's design for the family". (Some Republican voters will go for that.) Then there's the Tolkien women obsession.

It was probably a smart move with some Republican voters to cancel "Fox News Sunday" and "Face the Nation" at the last minute. Church and a picnic in a county where she already has solid backing were the given reasons, not because she wasn't prepared to go on the shows. Right. Nothing to do with midnight picnics on satanic altars.

How do crazy Christine's issues, as she's spoken about them and as they've been reported, sit with Republicans? I went to her sanitized web site, but it's hard to get your head around the "Why Christine" page. Generic platitudes, pablum, Tea Party 101. There is NO section for education; it slides in under Values. Maybe she forgot it along with her tuition. Someone should ask her if she wants to eliminate the Department of Education. There's a section for guns, though.

Let's start with God. O'Donnell has said that there's as much if not more evidence supporting creationism than evolution. As far as I know, she hasn't supplied any (because it doesn't exist?). Republicans agree with O'Donnell. Only 30% believe in evolution, while 60% of independents believe in evolution, according to Gallup. I don't think independents are voting on God this year.

(Bill Clinton probably killed Vince Foster.)

Health care. O'Donnell wants to repeal the health care law. She also wants "less government meddling in the doctor/patient relationship". (So she should love recess appointed Donald Berwick, the new head of Medicare and Medicaid, who advocates "patient-centered care" - and rationing and death!) 79% of Republicans favor repeal and 57% of non affiliated voters, so that's a winner. Oh, she wants to create health care vouchers for veterans (no longer on her website - hmm, sounds like eliminate the Department of Veterans Affairs). Chris - that last one's going down in flames.

(Joe Biden tapped her phone line.)

Obama's "so liberal that he's anti-American"! Of course he is. A Harris (online) poll found 41% of Republicans think the President's anti-American, and 24% of Republicans think he's the Anti-Christ. Christine O'Donnell's in great company. Dick "the Feet" Morris thinks Obama might be anti-American, and Rep Michele (the gift that just keeps giving) Bachmann (R) MN, said in 2008 that she was very concerned Obama might have anti-American views. Now she says "I look like Nostradamus". A voting issue? It is if Republicans vote on values.

(America is now a Socialist economy.)

Abortion. O'Donnell "strongly believes in protecting the sanctity of life at ALL stages". She's against abortion and stem cell research. She thinks condoms are "anti-human" and "will not protect you from AIDS". A Gallup poll in 2009 showed the percentage of Republicans (including independents who lean Republican) calling themselves "pro-life" rose 10 points over the previous year. That's huge. Will people vote on abortion? Some people only vote on abortion.

(It's a misconception that you quote unquote can't legislate morality.)

Security. No constitutional rights for terrorists or outsourcing our foreign policy to the UN. CNN polled in February after the Christmas day bombing, and 56% of respondents said the police and FBI agents should always inform suspects of their constitutional rights. 43% said not. I think O'Donnell's on safe ground with this one. Her primary voters want to waterboard the ACLU, and she'll probably pull in the rest of the black helicopter crowd and strong law and order voters in November.

(Women in military institutes cripple the readiness of our defense.)

Energy. Block cap and trade legislation. O'Donnell "supports a market based approach to energy solutions". I don't know what that means because it's a meaningless statement. She says it will "keep competition high and energy prices low". No mention of regulation of oil companies because - why regulate? A Pew poll in June showed that most Democrats (72%), independents (62%) and Republicans (59%) favor limits on CO2 and other emissions. She just has to keep shouting "tax" until November and she should do OK with Republicans and probably independents.

(Welfare and food stamps foster laziness and drug use.)

The question for depressed Democratic voters in Delaware is whether they'll have the gumption to get up out of fetal positions in their basements long enough to go and vote for Coons. Maybe Elizabeth Warren will inspire them. Independents leaning Republican in Delaware have some serious thinking to do.

If she's smart, and if Coons isn't, Christine O'Donnell may be able to spin herself like Linda Blair and say she's grown out of all the crazy stuff. After all, her positions on the issues above are solid to far right Republican, if you take out the witchcraft, the mouse brains, the hobbits, the wanking (and Britney Spears - on which she's not wrong).

 

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