Non-conservatives are nervous about President Bush naming a new Supreme Court Justice. But maybe he'll emulate Daddy and nominate someone really qualified, like Clarence Thomas.
Ed Klein invents a book about Hillary Clinton. The best chapter is the one claiming she didn't really earn her medals in Vietnam.
Tom Cruise berates Matt Lauer on TV, saying Matt doesn't know the history of pyschiatry. Unfair, Tom. Matt Lauer doesn't know the history of anything.
An outside consultant hired to monitor content on Public Broadcasting labels Republican Senator Chuck Hagel a "liberal." His previous job? Military Intelligence analyst in Iraq.
Administration official bowdlerizes report to Congress on global warning. His next job? Military Intelligence analyst in Iraq.
Richard Scrushy of Health South beats the rap on corporate corruption. Now Kenneth Lay of Enron wants to have his trial in Birmingham, too.
In a nationwide speech, President Bush again links Saddam Hussein to 9/11. By the end of his term, he'll be claiming Saddam was the "20th hijacker."
In the same speech, Bush said, "There's no higher calling than service in the Armed Forces." Does that include the Alabama Air National Guard?
Vice President Cheney says detainees at Guantanamo are well treated while living in the "tropics." Next move? Setting up a tourist agency in Iraq and Afghanistan to offer insurgents all-expenses-paid vacations in the "tropics."
The Supreme Court rules two reporters must go to jail for not revealing sources in the outing of a CIA agent. The columnist who actually revealed her name, Robert Novak, goes free. Jon Stewart refers to Novak as a "douche bag." Not right, Jon--unfair to douche bags.
The Court also says the Ten Commandments can be publicly displayed in certain circumstances. The bad news? Adultery is still included.