When in India, Please Don't Wear a Sari
Sometime during my first week of work as a journalist on exchange at the Times of India (Bombay office) I strolled into the newsroom wearing an approximation of Indian dress. A long kameez (tunic) over salwar (loose pants) and a tres chic dupatta (long and wide scarf) draped elegantly, or so I thought around my neck.
I am not sure what response I expected (a standing ovation perhaps? sighs of appreciation? warm thanks for making an effort?) but at lunchtime one (or maybe three) of the female journos who had taken me under their wing and made me part of their club told me quite simply that I looked "foolish." At that moment I felt like an idiot.
Yes said my friends, westerners who come to India and dress local look like try-hards. Leave the saris (the most elegant national costume in the world, no argument entered into) and the salwars, the churidors, and kurtas to the Indians. You've got your own clothes. Please wear them.
On a trip to the Taj Mahal I saw a very pale western girl rather unhappily wearing a sari, obviously thinking "photo opportunity." She looked wretched, not least because she just could not carry it off, but it seemed that every Indian in the place was looking at her. And not in an admiring way.
I have since worked for rather long stretches in Afghanistan and in North West Pakistan. In Pakistan I wore nothing but very baggy salwar kameez and grew to love them with a passion I could never have anticipated. With Pakistani female friends I would go shopping for the material and get our clothes made up by tailors who never had to touch the female person, just look at you then start sewing. There were all kinds of modern touches (would we like the width of the pants 9 inches or the far more chic 6 inches?) but essentially the traditional uniform remained in tact. I found the salwar set flattering and liberating and I could spend ages fussing over scarves, matching sets, to have pockets or not, length of tunic etc. My Pakistani kameezes made the transition to Afghanistan but as I was in Kabul for the most part, I used to wear jeans with long tunics to cover my modesty and a great big scarf to cover my head when I was outdoors. (In the newsroom, rules were relaxed).
In Afghanistan and Pakistan there was no snobbishness about expats wearing local costume - in fact it was encouraged. But I shall always remember that day when I felt so smart only to be told I looked foolish.
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It all depends on what you're wearing. Most westerners don't understand Indian fashion, and sometimes end up wearing a saree or a salwaar kameez that's horribly unfashionable, ugly or just over the top.
This inability to translate fashion is a pan-cultural thing. For instance, see the millions of Indian men who wear the ugliest polyester western clothing both in India or out of India. Many see western clothing as just functional and don't quite get the fashion angle. Of course, this crime against fashion is also committed by millions of men in the West, but their angle on ugly clothing is a tad different.
Um, I think you're making a vast generalization here based on a few isolated experiences. I think it's more likely that you were wearing a salwar khameez that was unfashionable or unflattering, something that happens to a lot of foreigners in India who, through no fault of their own, wear Indian clothes that don't suit them, simply because they aren't familiar with Indian fashion and don't know how to choose something that looks good on them. I have known lots of foreigners in India who did wear salwar khameez or churidar and didn't get any criticism for it. And if a circle of your friends really disliked what you were wearing, not because of how it looked but because you're not Indian, it doesn't mean it's bad for non-Indians to wear Indian clothes. They do it all the time and nothing happens. Don't let a few people's opinions get in the way of wearing something you like.
I do agree that you should not wear a sari unless you know how. Choosing the right one, pleating it and draping it neatly, and then managing to walk in it is not easy for someone who's not used to it. And someone made a comment about wearing a sari with a T-shirt and blazer -- um, yeah, of course you will get stared at for that. Wouldn't you stare at someone wearing a formal dress with ankle socks and a hoodie?
I would be really interested to know why the reaction was so different in India than in Pakistan or Afghanistan. I lived in Mozambique for two years and I always got very positive reactions when I dressed like the other ladies in my town. In fact, at church and especially at weddings I was expected to wear what the other women wore. I don't agree with the comment that if locals don't feel uncomfortable by foreigners wearing their style of clothing that it's because they don't know better than to be patronized. Could it be that the women you worked with in India were so connected to the outside world that they didn't want you to associate their country with traditional dress? I mean, I'm sure certain groups of women in India don't always wear saris or salwar kameez. Maybe such women think they are more modern for adopting Western dress. Maybe in a more rural setting your efforts to assimilate would have been more appreciated. I think its sad your friends thought it was foolish of you to wear a salwar kameez. They need to broaden their own concept of just what a Westerner can be.
I think there's good reason for locals to feel uncomfortable about Western women wearing "their" costume.
To be quite frank, it's patronizing. It's reminiscent of the long gone days of imperalism when whites donned colonial dress to demonstrate their power. Kind of "we may be wearing your clothes but we are superior to you." Given the fact that Anglos are still largely running the world--perhaps more so than ever before--it's especially obnoxious today. Because whether we like it or not, appropriating others' national costumes can convey imperial arrogance. This is why the locals resented the pale blonde wearing the sari. They could tell that she was in it for the photo op, as it "Look how cool I am....a liberal and (superior) blue-eyed blond who can do it even better than the locals."
And then of course there's the question of plain appropriateness. Cheongsams really do look best on Asian women--and preferably no more wider than 33-21-33. After all, a very streamlined look demands a very slim build, while the sparkle in the fabric complements the darkest hair. Similarly, dirndls do look best on curvy women, particularly the blondes: the cut of the bodice and skirt accentuate this just as olive is a great color for blondes.
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What interesting viewpoint and in fact some of the 'patronizing' issues were raised in the long discussions I had with my ToI friends. It is not for me to second guess or judge their reaction, as so I think that those who dismiss their view as "plain wrong" are also "plain wrong".
I like your analysis. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
The Patronizing thing is very true. Its like someone "going Native". When president Bush went to Kenya, he danced with Masai tribe and there were photo op. "Hey look..President Bush..going Native".
Now, Imagine Kenyans when they travel to Europe and lets say they done the Dutch native outfit with those wooden shoes an all...and dances like the Europeans. I would like to see those contemptuous looks of the Dutch!
:)
The difference between these women she met at Mumbai and the women in Afghanistan is that some "Natives" don't recognize the patronizing attitude!
Clothing isn't a "costume" when a native wears it. It is, however, when a stranger to that culture does. But I agree that visitors' wearing local dress is cultural appropriation and offensive. By analogy, it would be offensive for someone to wear a nun's habit just because one is visiting a convent (unless the visitor is a nun or a nun in training).
Westerners generally seem either to attempt native dress or, regardless of context, flaunt whatever skimpy attire they would wear in their own countries. Both extremes come across as rude--the former as appropriation and the latter for flagrantly disregarding local sensibilities/customs. If these were the only options, I would say, of course, choose the native dress. That option at least acknowledges a culture's aesthetics and customs. Plus, a chunk of the population would applaud the effort. It seems to make more sense to investigate the principles behind the implied dress code and then wear the most suitable of one’s own clothes.
Anyway, most tourists and short-termers don't pull off the native look, whether because they are uncomfortable or ill at ease in the outfits or because they don't understand or care how the drapery or folds should fall. A few, though, do manage to do it fairly well, but they are usually expatriates and/or have managed to become part of the culture or to make the culture part of themselves--they are essentially the "nuns in training" in my earlier analogy.
When I refer to "national costume," I refer to it in the proverbial sense since the spread of Western fashion has in effect rendered national dress into "costume."
However, I find your last point very interesting and it's one that could easily pertain to the different regional cultures here: cultures that are associated primarily with whites. For instance, it would be ludicrous for a white New Englander--or a New Englander of any color--to attempt a Southern accent while traveling in, say, Louisiana, or to don full-out rodeo gear in Texas. What is more problematic to some Americans is the question of non-whites speaking and dressing as the white locals: as in, "why can't they be themselves? Why should they feel the need to assimilate?" But perhaps this opens up a whole different can of worms as to race and nationality.
When I stroll into Indian shops I always drool at the magnificence, especially the heavy-duty shadi gear!
Personally, one of my half-serious goals long since has been to get myself an elegant black sherwani, for special Indian-appropriate occasions. I almost bought a kurta once, just because I wanted something Indian to wear to proclaim my love to the world (besides my ironic Bollywood T-shirt) -- it looked horrible on me -- a pale, tall skinny guy with strawberry blonde hair ain't pullin' this off! I had enough respect for myself and South Asians not to sully such a fine garment with my frame!
The whole thing is too self-conscious. I've seen westerners wear saris with such ease that one wouldn't notice their clothes and vice versa. Indians don't hesitate to wear western clothes and those who might judge westerners for wearing Indian clothes will probably judge you one way or another no matter what you wear. Being one's authentic self in any garb is always attractive and free of judgement.
I have see many western women (some of them married to Indians) in Indian attire and they mostly looked gorgeous.If sari is a bit complicated, you can always go with salwar-kameez. BTW can you post some pics of y'self in a sari? I am very curious.
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I have only tried on saris in my own home, in shops and at allgirl parties. To share any image of me in a sari would be an act of cruelty that may strike you down blind. I think I may spare you that horror! Thanks for commenting!
This has been my experience too. I am a stylist and have visited India very frequently for fabrics, costume, clothing, jewelry. As Virginia said she was in a Mumbai office but I have to say that as I travelled right round the country in cities and out in the rural areas to find craftswomen and village made stuff, that the local people who I travelled with thought that western women looked incredibly funny in saris. I think the feeling is that they just can't carry it off. And I have to agree - they look awful and when you see them in India (which you do rarely) I always cringe.
Wearing bits and pieces of an Indian clothing piece always looks good but it looks chic - like wearing a short kurta from Fab India over skinny jeans or and armful of glass wedding bangles.
A western woman wearing a bindi always made the people I kow make very funny comments. It does look odd, unless you are Liz Hurley getting married to an Indian.
Mumbai (Bombay) reflects the rest of India as much as New York City reflects the Midwest.
I think you just listened to a person who did not appreciated your intent...or she on her part was trying to be a western wannabe....
there is nothing wrong in following a county's tradition...you made the effort that is what counts...
these days hip hugging jeans where once can see what brand of underwear one is wearing is catching trend in India where people used to dress conservatively...it is a matter of choice although but there are some people in India who would try anything 'western' to look cool, some choices are not considered good even here in USA.....
I agree.. Its the neo western wannabes of India that look down up on anything Indian who are generally snobbish like that.
Most Indians would feel flattered if westerners trying something Indian. Weather its a bindi or porting Indian clothes.
There are plenty who find the appropriation offensive. I know fewer who feel "flattered" than don't.
FYI, it's "whether" not "weather."
Good generalization. Keep it up.
Interesting. I can't help but think that foreigners look ridiculous in American style clothing. Thirty years ago you could travel the world, even Europe, and you knew what country people were from. Today everyone wants to dress like the 'ugly amerian'.....too bad. On the other hand, fashion is fun, and people should dress as they please, especially if it's tasteful. European women, from working class and middle class appear to be more fashionable than American women. I'm sick of seeing everyone wearing jeans....in the 60's it was real cool, now it's faux cool.
I found this article to be really interesting. When I go to India, I wear SK's and saris and have been assisted by Indian women concerning the details. My reason (especially at ashrams) is that it is far simpler than trying to conjure up something that won't make me stick out as immodest. Perhaps it is different in the big cities or businesses. Even though I don't go much anymore, I enjoy using the saris at home for decorating and I wear the tops of the SK with leggings.
I dunno i think sari's look good on most women, maybe your hair didn't match or something. Did you wear a bindhi and some jewelry with it? Maybe you were wearing it wrong and it came off as funny looking. Post some pics!! lol
My aunt is a white American who married an Indian. She wore an elegant Sari, a bindhi, and had really intricate henna tattoos. I thought she looked gorgeous.
I think the title of your post is rather dramatic - kind of like: When in Mexico, Please Don't Eat Pork.
An American friend on her first visit to Mumbai was invited to my sister's Indian wedding. She decided to wear a sari and it was her first time. She meticulously went through several blouses before deciding what combination was "right" for her. When she finally appeared at the wedding she carried herself with cool, calm, confident elegance, like she had worn it a thousand times before. There were a lot of admirers, me included. She looked great in the photographs and video footage too - and there was lots of it.
Once during a movie on a flight from Mumbai to JFK, someone tapped me on my shoulder. Turning back I saw two "foreigners" dressed in salwars. One of them pointed to some cutlery wrapper on the floor and asked me why is it that people from my country like to throw their trash around. I asked her where she was from and she said she was American. This was during the Bush years and I resisted the urge to say something nasty. Instead, I politely explained it must have been an inadvertent mistake on someone's part - not me, my wrapper was intact. Call me biased, but I think they looked like a couple of clowns in their outfits. I later spotted them at customs - they had changed into western clothes. All was well again with the
There might be fine points to wearing the sari that Westerners are unaware of.
Like people visiting some parts of the American West wearing designer jeans and fussy versions of "cowboy" hats.
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I should point out that I have never worn a sari outside of my own house - I was shown how to wear one several times, but any attempt to drape myself in one made me looked like a wrapped Egyptian mummsy - trussed up like a farm yard chicken.
Despite what seem to be a wide spread concern in these comments, please don't think that women concerned were being rude. They were in fact very helpful and it triggered and a fabulously interesting conversation which really made sense.
And also remember - we were working. I wasn't a tourist, in an ashram, a back packer etc. I was in a professional atmosphere (well as professional as any atmopshere can be when I am in it).
Thanks so much for your very enjoyable comments!
The odd thing is that the reverse would not be true. I don't think we think that people from India dressed in USA-type clothes look odd. How do you account for this?
Absolutely. In addition to the various styles of sari and modes of draping them, there are nuances to the spacing, arrangement and location of the pleats, the length and, if any, the pleating of the "pallu" (the part draped over the shoulder), how close to the ground it falls and so on and so on. Then there are issues of how to sit, stand, walk, etc. in a sari--all while trying to keep the whole package beautifully intact. It's a complicated affair for the novice, and they usually make glaring errors that they could not be expected to recognize. If I didn't know better, I would assume it was a hazing ritual.
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