"Ms. Soave, can I speak to you at lunch?"
It was my first month of teaching and this was my first one-on-one request by a student.
"Sure, is 12:30 okay?"
I had made a grand impression on my high school students not only by being younger and energetic, but by announcing that I would be starting an LBGT club on Wednesday. I didn't know how many would show up, if any at all, but I remembered what I had endured when I was in high school; a club like this was instantly denied.
The student showed up five minutes earlier than I had said, she was clearly keen to chat with me. I opened the wooden door and she walked in nervously, pulling at her sweater.
Before I could breathe a word, she announced, "I'm non-binary and no one else knows."
I wasn't shocked or surprised, but touched. This student easily blended into the gender stereotypes for females and yet identified as anything but that! She remained a regular attendee at my LGBT club and promoted others to attend for the entire time I taught at that school.
This student, and many others, opened my eyes to how easily LGBT and, more so, transgender and non-binary students fall between the cracks in a classroom with no one to turn to or ask for support. Here are seven ways that schools continue to fail these students.
1)Female and Male Divide
It's amazing how many teachers are continuing to divide students into "girls and boys." Whether this be for sports teams, quiz games, uniforms or simply for seating plans, transgender and non-binary students are immediately made to feel out of place to classmates and alienated by the teacher. It solely teaches everyone that only two genders exist and nothing else. Imagine if you were non-binary in a classroom with a teacher that doesn't represent anything other than male and female?
2)Curriculum Failure
Not much has changed in high school subjects over the years. English still speaks of cisgender characters; History sustains stories of social movements and wars completely disregarding the role that transgender or non-binary people had to play; science only shows how pregnancy works for two cisgender heterosexual people; and lastly sexual education ignores transgender bodies and what sex means to different people. This lack of visibility in everyday classrooms takes a severely lessened minority and further buries their confidence in the majority around them. Every teacher has the ability to alter their lesson plans to include transgender and non-binary identities. DO IT!
3)Non Inclusive Language
Repeatedly I have heard the expression 'hey guys' or 'you girls at the back' being spat across classrooms. These expressions force a gender identity on students, instead of the student deciding for themselves. Never assume that because students look male or female to you that they identify as this. Instead, inclusive language should be used to address students such as 'hey people', 'you people at the back', or 'okay team, attention at the front'. This also applies when speaking to students about their parents. Use the term 'your parent/s' instead of 'your mom and dad'. Not every child has two parents or parents that identify as cisgender.
4)Safe Places In a School
Most schools do not offer students gender neutral washrooms or alternative options for change rooms; they are forced to choose between 'male' and 'female'. Furthermore, many schools do not offer LGBT 'safe spaces' or clubs. Asking principals and other staff for support to start an LGBT club not only helps students but allows staff to direct students to your club and learn more about transgender and non-binary identities. You can even post signs in your classroom that are positive messages about LGBT people, helping students to feel welcome in your class.
5)Assumptions About Parents
Every parent-teacher evening can seem hectic and overwhelming. Likewise, amongst the chaos many teachers fall into the trap of assuming students' parents are cisgender or lead heteronormative lifestyles. More importantly, teachers can make the fatal mistake of revealing a students' identity to their parents. DON'T EVER ASSUME a student is open with their parents about their identity or that parents resemble the images you see on television. Be diverse when meeting parents!
6)Being a Bystander
The amount of bullying that takes place in schools in mind blowing! This is worse for transgender and non-binary students. Teachers need to be more than bystanders-they need to be active ally's to these students when comments are made in the classroom and consistently ensure that students are aware of their rights in a school environment. Simply standing there as transphobic or hatful comments are said only teaches these students that they are alone and powerless in your classroom.
7)Lack of Proactivity
It's hard enough trying to get students to learn every day, but what about yourself as a teacher? Many teachers claim there is a lack of resources for them to learn about transgender and non-binary identities in a school. To the contrary, there are dozens of resources for the classroom on mental illness, gender dysphoria, and transitioning. Mental illness is something that concerns all students but especially ones identifying as transgender or non-binary. If you still feel stuck for resources, visit local LGBT centres in your community, your local medical clinics, or better yet google it! At the end of the day if a student comes to you for help with dysphoria will you know what to say?
The only way to change society's ignorance on gender identities is through educating them. By altering the way you speak and act in your classroom as well as becoming an active ally through participating in LGBT clubs in your school, transgender and non-binary students can safely learn and thrive. Ensure you're creating optimal visibility and support for transgender and non-binary students to embrace their identity. With these alterations everyone can start to reshape how they view gender in a school.
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This post is part of HuffPost's Journey Beyond the Binary blog series, an editorial effort to bring diverse trans and gender non-conforming voices to the HuffPost Blog during and after Pride month. As the LGBTQIA community celebrates great strides forward this June, it's important to acknowledge the struggles still pertinent to trans and gender variant members of the community. Please email any pitches to beyondbinary@huffingtonpost.com