I'm starting a movement today. I'm calling it "Jumping off the Self-Improvement Treadmill." And, I hope you'll join me!
Now, don't get me wrong -- I have a healthy respect for improving your life. I've made incredible changes in my life by making a plan and working hard. It has taken years, but I have gone from a minimum wage-earning high school dropout to a six-figure executive with a wonderful life. You could kinda say I'm a poster child for improving your life with a plan.
But as appreciative as I am of that, now I feel like life is a list of "should be's." I should lose that last 10 pounds. I should do a better job at sending birthday cards. I should plan healthier meals. I should learn a language to keep my brain sharp. I should... I should... I should.
You would think after all these years, I'd be getting close to being done. I've been at this a long time! But, here's the insanity of the self-improvement culture -- YOU NEVER FINISH. And I'm starting to wonder when I finally get to say "I'm Perfect!!"
I guess it boils down to the question: Are we meant to be perfect? It's a funny question, because the answer is, "Of course not." Then, why do we have such a focus on self-improvement in our lives? Or, is there a drawback to wanting to be better?
Yes, there's a drawback. Here I am years later and I can't shake a sense of dissatisfaction in myself that exists all the time. It's reinforced by women's fashion magazines that prod me about my looks and business journals that promise I can climb the corporate ladder. They tell me the goal is to be smarter, younger, thinner and more successful than I am today. And, they convince me that I can be.
Maybe I was naive; maybe I didn't realize the consequences. But, being dissatisfied with who you are can become a habit. It's an underlying nagging in the back of your mind that you're not good enough. It leaves a damage all its own. We are left with a constant yearning to be better- when we're pretty great already.
So, starting today I will get off the "trying to be perfect" bandwagon. Here is my new pledge:
•I will stop reading about how to be happy and just start being happy. I will be happy because I'm kind, happy because I'm loved, happy because it's a beautiful day.
•I will stop buying self-improvement courses and I'll spend that money on drinks with a friend, buying a bouquet of flowers or watching a wonderful old movie.
•I will eat only things that taste good, and every once in a while I'll drink a little too much alcohol. And, I'll do this with fun people, laughing the whole time.
•I will stop giving advice to others and just be sympathetic and love them. I will shut my mouth and let them say everything they have to say. I'll be someone you can say things to even when no one else wants to hear it.
•Instead of criticizing my body, or worrying about gaining weight, I'm going to think good thoughts about it every day.
•I'll remember to feel grateful for my wonderful life. When I catch myself being dissatisfied, I will think of how I jumped off the treadmill and appreciate the wonderful things I have.
I know this isn't going to be easy. I am addicted to the promise that we can all be better and should follow the rules to attain perfection. But I'm jumping off the bandwagon. It's going to be tough, but I think I'm going to be happy.
I'd love to hear your stories and what you did to jump off the Self-Improvement Treadmill at www.FirstClassWoman.com. Join the conversation and get inspired; sign up for the newsletter and please share this blog and my website.