Perhaps it's my sensitivity to these kinds of issues, but did anyone else interpret Justin Bieber's offhand remark about Prince Williams' thinning hair, as a reflection of larger cultural issues? A bit of ageism? Maybe even a tendency by youth to bully their elders?
For those of you who missed this London-based story in the midst of Bolt and Gabby, Bieber was recently quoted as commenting about Williams' receding hairline, saying, "I mean there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don't know why he doesn't just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?" Justin asked Rollercoaster magazine.
The pushback in England was strong. How dare America's Canadian-born darling Bieber give advice to Britain's darling Prince William? One journalist, Jessica Callan said, "Wills and Prince Harry may joke about William's thinning hair, but that doesn't mean a kid like Justin can come sauntering in and join in the joke. It's like inviting someone over for dinner and they tell you how awful your carpet is. Even if you agree, how dare they say it? So the Biebs had better watch out!"
Callan, along with thousands of others, focused on Bieber's impudence -- the proverbial ugly American, a little punk criticizing a mature, respected Brit -- not to mention his lack of knowledge about how Propecia really works. (While delaying further hair loss, Propecia does not typically help it grow back). I agree Bieber's careless remarks were rude and inappropriate, and yes, Bieber should get his facts straight before shooting off his mouth as if an authority about anything. But little is being discussed about the pop idol's comment as a reflection of a growing cultural trend that to me is even more disturbing.
Today's youth assumes that aging is a disease that needs to be fixed. They not only fear getting older, but will go to great extents to avoid, delay or remedy any signs of it.
Does Bieber, or any of these youngsters, really understand the risks and complications that can arise when medical interventions put youth and beauty before all else? For Propecia, there may be long-term sexual side effects. For other age-defying procedures, there can be more serious and sometimes permanent consequences, ones that are not just physical, but psychological as well.
Some of the press compared Bieber to an annoying, buzzing fly that should be swatted away. But do these flies reflect a larger group coming up from behind that believe if you don't have perfect physical features, or that when aging changes them, you make necessary alterations and don't stop at any cost? Overweight -- get lipo. Sagging breasts -- implants solve that. Hanging jowels -- why not just lift them? It's a kind of youth-obsessed, cultural buzz that may not only be annoying, but can be downright dangerous.
Remember Karen Klein, the middle-aged woman recently bullied by kids on the school bus, an incident that led to a great deal of attention, sympathy and even financial support? That incident was caught on tape and posted on YouTube, just as Bieber's comments were available in print for all to read. What about all the other remarks hurled toward everyday imperfect, aging men and women, comments that are equally hurtful, but without anyone to defend them? Shouldn't we be addressing the larger cultural imperative that fuels this growing attitude among our youth that leads to this sort of cruelty?
The UK Telegraph put it well, referring to Prince William's growing bald spot. "Prince William's 'island of tranquility' has famously been evolving into a 'sea of tranquility' since his early twenties, a fact which hasn't stopped him [from] becoming a top international heartthrob and snaring a total McFittie for a wife. Plus he even knows there's a country called Germany where they speak German -- a fact Bieber was totally unaware of..."
This is not about Bieber-bashing, though one had to chuckle when he announced, at age 18, that he was writing his memoir. It is not about star-slamming, though one can recall a very young Tom Cruise lecturing Matt Lauer about how he knew much more than his "Today Show" host about psychiatric drugs.
This is about encouraging our youth to be thoughtful before assuming that aging is a problem that requires fixing. Or that they know, from their many years of experience, the magic potion, pill or procedure that would best provide the sought after fix. We all age -- yes, Bieber and his fans too -- but hopefully we can do so with grace, tranquility, and most important, with respect toward one another.
What is your reaction to Bieber's comment about Prince William's hair? Do you view aging as a disease to be fixed?
Vivian Diller, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. She serves as a media expert on various psychological topics and as a consultant to companies promoting health, beauty, and cosmetic products. Her book Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change (2010), edited by Michele Willens, is a psychological guide to help women deal with the emotions brought on by their changing appearances.
For more information, please visit her website at VivianDiller.com, and continue the conversation on Twitter: @DrVDiller.
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That was in 2005. Cruise was 43. Very young???
Matt Lauer is just 3.5 years older.
The attitudes that youth carry about the aged reflects what their relationship(s) with aging people are. When children/youth have close relationships with their grandparents... they are likely to have less fear and misunderstanding of growing old.
Additionally, the influence of marketing of products and services that supposedly retain youth is stronger in those who have little association with older folks... and stronger in those who are heavily influenced by advertising.
Bieber lives in a bubble... surrounded by managers and agents, television and hotel rooms. He too will be faced with the only two options available... grow old or die first.
First, if one's feelings are hurt - at any age - by another's comments, defend yourself. Speak up, because if you don't then anyone nearby who might otherwise take up your cause is likely to assume you are not offended after all. I would personally assume anyone who reaches an age which allows for the kinds of discrimination you speak of is also capable of fighting back against it, if only verbally.
Second, it's worth a try.
I think Beiber's comments ARE indicative of a larger trend. Yet the preponderance of advertising touting the anti-aging miracles dominating everything we see online, on television, and in print - including not only Propecia, Rogaine, Viagra, and body modification (including earrings, hair dye, and makeup), but also the obvious preference shown in all aspects of society toward those famous people who can seemingly defy aging using any or all of these products - is mostly to blame for the youth-culture's misperception that aging is gross. Correcting that misperception can be done, but won't be easy. Especially since many my age and older agree aging should be defied to the last gasp. My aunts have told me, "You would be so handsome, if not for that broken tooth. You should get that fixed." Why should today's youth respect their elders when even their elders find aging so repugnant?
However, you’re right that this transformation in beauty ideals has been growing for centuries. Men of means have been trying to avoid getting old probably since the first time a younger male kicked the clan chief out of his accustomed spot by the communal fire. I'm familiar with evolution and the fact that men seek young mates because young mates will have healthier babies and more of them. Also, young women seek older, successful males for their proven ability to survive or even thrive, while younger males are not as safe a bet. However, while the female beauty enhancement market makes a certain sense in that regard, the male beauty enhancement market should not even exist if a man's goal is to appear older and more experienced. Beauty enhancements seek to reverse signs of aging, or enhance some feature in which the recipient was deemed naturally lacking. For men, this makes no evolutionary sense because men should be instinctively proud of their scars, lines, grey hair, etc. This only makes sense if men have been conditioned to believe the appearance of aging is to be avoided at all costs. And the only reason for this to occur would be if younger males now have some evolutionary advantage - which, in the age of computers and the new dominance of mental agility over physical prowess, it does.
2: Yes: if all you have going for you is the way you look, aging can be scary. People who are concerned with only looks are as shallow as they come. By the time we get older, with any luck, we are doing more important and rewarding thing with our lives...things that make the world a better place.