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Vivian Diller, Ph.D.

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Bridging the Authenticity Gap: A Common Cause Joins Generations

Posted: 05/07/2012 10:23 am

The message baby boomers have been shouting for a while is finally being heard across the generations: Beauty does not -- and for many, cannot -- be equated with flawless perfection.

While this movement toward authentic beauty was first fueled by millions of mid-lifers frustrated by anti-aging ad campaigns -- no, 15 is not the new 50! -- more and more young adults have joined the bandwagon. Together we are recognizing the negative impact that unrealistic beauty has on body image and self-esteem -- and together we are finally saying, "we have had enough."

The New York Times recently featured a story about a young girl from Maine, Julia Bluhm, who took a stand against unrealistic imagery in teen magazines. Using Change.Org to start an online petition, 14-year-old Bluhm targeted the fault-free faces that fill the pages of Seventeen. "I look at the pictures and they just don't look like girls I see walking down the street and stuff... they don't have freckles, or moles, anywhere on their bodies," Bluhm told the Times. "You can't, like, see the pores in their face, they're perfectly smooth. Their skin is shiny. They don't have any tan lines or cuts and bruises or anything like that." Promoted by Spark, a project that fights the sexualization of girls, her protest resonated with thousands of other everyday teenagers -- and their moms -- who joined together to support the cause.

The goal set out by the petition and a demonstration in front of Hearst Corporate Headquarters was to have Seventeen "commit to printing one unaltered -- real -- photo spread per month." ABC's Nightline covered Bluhm's day in New York City, including the meeting she had with Seventeen's editor in chief, Ann Shoket, who invited her to talk about the magazine's picture doctoring practices. While clearly an issue that applies to all glossy magazines -- Cindi Leive, Editor-In-Chief of Glamour recently told her readers that her photographers would no longer excessively alter their models, even if they requested it -- the event at Hearst highlighted the fact that perfect-looking photos make everyday girls feel inadequate. More importantly, the event caught the much-needed attention of a large group of women of all ages.

More buzz was created over this issue last week when a tweet was sent by AnnaLynne McCord, the 24- year-old actress from 90210. McCord took to Twitter to express her protest against the pressure to appear perfect. Posting an unaltered, cosmetic free self-portrait -- blemishes and all -- she wrote, "I woke up this morning and decided I'm over Hollywood's perfection requirement. To all my girls (and boys) who have ever been embarrassed by their skin! I salute you! I'm not perfect -- and that's okay with me!" Her message? It's time for everyone to see what is really behind the makeup, lights and cameras.

McCord's tweet parallels the sentiment expressed by an increasing number of celebs feeling cruelly scrutinized about their appearance. Did anyone catch the poignant plea made recently by Ashley Judd on NBC's Rock Center? Women like Judd and McCord are just two among a growing number of actresses speaking up against the criticism they receive for looking imperfect while being simultaneously judged as inauthentic if they do something about it -- a phenomenon I call the Beauty Paradox.

Objections to our culture's lack of authenticity have been growing over the years. In 2006, a model's transformation was graphically illustrated in the video Evolution of Beauty produced by Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. Described as "Beast to Beauty in 60 Seconds," a model is shown going from 'real' to 'perfect' -- using time lapse photography, make-up, styling and photo retouching -- to make the point that the end result is manufactured, not natural. It's a video worth watching, and as of today, close to 15 million people have done so on YouTube.

Last year it was reported that three Oscar-winning actresses -- 36 year old Kate Winslet, 42 year old Rachel Weisz and 52 year old Emma Thompson -- had joined together to create an "Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League." While the actual formation of such a League has been questioned, Winslet, Weisz and Thompson have all been quite outspoken about cookie-cutter beauty and its impact on the aging celebs. Winslet told The Telegraph, "I will never give in. [Cosmetic surgery] goes against my morals, the way that my parents brought me up and what I consider to be natural beauty." Weisz agreed, saying, "People who look too perfect don't look sexy or particularly beautiful," And Emma Thompson added, "I'm not fiddling about with myself. We're in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60." Surely these women can afford to take such a stand -- being so young (it's all relative) and beautiful (yes, also relative) -- but their attitude toward it all has been well received.

Let's not forget that psychologists and psychiatrists have weighed in on this issue as well. This year the American Medical Association showed their support by adopting a policy against the altering of photographs that promote unrealistic imagery. Extreme use of photoshop, the AMA reported, could lead to distorted ideas about body image and ultimately be psychologically harmful, especially to children and teens.

The point is, momentum for this movement toward authenticity has been growing from a multiple directions, from people of different disciplines and across generations.

Lastly, whatever one thinks of the new controversial HBO series Girls, and its very real looking star/writer/producer Lena Dunham, no one doubts the great pains she takes to display authenticity on the show. With seemingly no makeup or digital alteration, the series presents 20-somethings as far less than perfect in every way. Dunham courageously -- and often nakedly -- plays the role of the most awkward one among her close friends, almost exaggerating her physical flaws on camera to make her point. She is who she is and she represents how most "girls" truly are in the real world.

This movement -- this scream for authenticity -- is clearly not about eliminating beauty from our screens and pages. It's human nature to be fascinated with youthful vitality and attractiveness. Most likely we are hard wired to enjoy physical beauty -- just as we are attracted to beautiful performances by talented singers, dancers or professional athletes. Surely, this stand being taken by an increasing number of people of all ages isn't about negating the pleasures that come from beauty as a form of entertainment. It's about the popularization of these unrealistic standards and the demand they make on every men and women.

Perhaps we need to see authenticity as the goal for the everyday man or woman, leaving perfect beauty to cover girls, actors and celebs or anyone who chooses to be in the spotlight. The importance of this movement by teens, young adults and mid-lifers is to keep perfection and youth from being equated with beauty, so that this unrealistic equation doesn't leave us feeling inadequate if we don't achieve it.

****
Vivian Diller, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. She serves as a media expert on various psychological topics and as a consultant to companies promoting health, beauty and cosmetic products. Her book, "Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change" (2010), edited by Michele Willens, is a psychological guide to help women deal with the emotions brought on by their changing appearances.


For more information, please visit my website at www.VivianDiller.com and continue the conversation on Twitter at DrVDiller.

 
 
 

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The message baby boomers have been shouting for a while is finally being heard across the generations: Beauty does not -- and for many, cannot -- be equated with flawless perfection. While this move...
The message baby boomers have been shouting for a while is finally being heard across the generations: Beauty does not -- and for many, cannot -- be equated with flawless perfection. While this move...
 
 
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11:48 AM on 05/09/2012
If there has to be A FACE talking politics much better a pretty woman but top job is hard to get. Hillary maybe the vice president well that means 4 years waiting to see get top post. Sarkozy saw power of women with Marine le Pen but did not offer her power so he lost. She to like Hillary has another chance in four years its all very simple but if you see blonds having more fun your wrong its not in your color that is important but your intellegence no matter how you look.
10:26 AM on 05/09/2012
"Perhaps we need to see authenticity as the goal for the everyday man or woman, leaving perfect beauty to cover girls, actors and celebs or anyone who chooses to be in the spotlight."

Well said--and I think that's a commendable goal. I do, however, think that it will be hard, if not impossible, for such a goal to overcome the two juggernauts of money and media.

So if, for whatever reason, "natural" beauty (or, say, crooked teeth, freckles, plump builds) was in demand and, therefore, generated money, I think we'd see a quick change in how women are presented in the media. But for that to happen, doesn't the media have to present "natural" women first to incite the demand? Kind of a chicken-or-the-egg situation. I think something big will have to happen to shake things up and break the money/media cycle.
10:35 AM on 05/08/2012
Excessive vanity is a character flaw and we need to treat it as such. The idealized image of beauty is not the problem. Before photos we had paintings which were the original photo shop. I don't think we have any paintings of George Washington's rotten teeth.

The vanity issue needs to be taken head on without feminist resorting to blaming men or society for the problem. If women can't get a grip on being imperfect in appearance then we should challenge that women's world view rather than suggest society created it with passive images of pretty people. The average women is something we see every where we go. She is far from perfect and any sane person would see that. The stuff on television is made out to be an ideal that included things like a talking car that could drive itself and jump over obstacles in the 80's.

Women need to get a grip on reality instead of assuming reality needs to work very hard to make them feel good about themselves.
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02:30 AM on 05/08/2012
I am proud to live in a country where this is the biggest thing people are worried about.
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DrVivian
Clinical Psychologist and author of Face It
07:29 AM on 05/08/2012
Yes, the irony is that we have the luxury of being fulfilled enough in basic ways to be able to focus on issues like youthful beauty, only to find that this focus leaves many people feeling unfulfilled.
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09:38 AM on 05/10/2012
Ma'am, fullfillment is a state of mind not a real world condition. I'm sure you realize this based on your post and expertise. The most isolated indigenous peoples of South America and Africa can claim to be fulfilled. But with pressure from the right to be individually successful, pressure from the left to help create some fantastical utopian society, and pressure from society in general to look and behave a certain way, one can never be truly "fulfilled". It is a symptom of our inter-connected society and a prerequisite to the standard of living that we have developed. With 6 billion people to compare yourself to, this problem was bound to present itself. All of that being said, the lack of "fulfillment" can be a powerful motivating tool that greases the skids of our ever developing society. If everyone was "fulfilled", we would never come up with the cure for cancer, travel to Mars or make the next Best Picture winning film for the Oscars. Though I'm confident that all of those will happen in my lifetime. all do to unfulfillment. There are obviously some negative consequences to this, but this is not, in real life, a 100% solution to anything. Understanding this is a prerequisite to success.
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09:39 AM on 05/10/2012
"due to" rather.
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09:40 AM on 05/10/2012
"'there' is not, in real life" rather
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papallugeteam
11:55 PM on 05/07/2012
Thank you, Dr. Vivian. I used to believe that as I got older I would feel better about my looks, that feeling unattractive was just a phase I 'd outgrow. Unfortunately, I still struggle with that and I'm in my forties. Hopefully the younger generation will question the incessant quest for physical perfection. Or is it just a moneymaking proposition for the "beauty" industry?
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DrVivian
Clinical Psychologist and author of Face It
07:26 AM on 05/08/2012
I think there truly is a rebound reaction occurring in our culture against perfect beauty, especially among the 20 somethings. Have you watched Girls? They see their parents struggling with trying to appear youthful and perfect and they don't like what they see. So, let's hope these young men and women have an impact on what many of us at midlife have been saying for a long while.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
11:32 AM on 05/07/2012
I just want to reiterate that men are not demanding perfection from women.
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DrVivian
Clinical Psychologist and author of Face It
02:34 PM on 05/07/2012
Correct. Women seem to be demanding it from themselves -- at all ages. Thanks for your comment.
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02:34 AM on 05/08/2012
I sense a hint of sarcasm, madam. Are you suggesting that women don't have an evolutionary/biological dictum to compete with each other? Because from my experience they do. Pretty early on, in fact.
03:16 AM on 05/08/2012
I'd like to point out that it's not ALL men that are demanding perfection. I do know some that are happy to push their wives/girlfriends into expensive surgeries so they are closer to what they want.
03:48 PM on 05/08/2012
I think that there are men (and they are the ones who yell the loudest) who have unrealistic expectations of how women should look. You don't have to look far to find men in their 50's who will only date women in their 20's. (Nothing wrong with dating someone younger than you, but it seems a bit shallow when you base your whole evaluation on age.)

All that said, the majority of men are much more easily pleased by a woman's appearance than your average Cosmo magazine would imply. Where men get judgy is usually in the area of expecting women to be everything to everyone. (Something we put on ourselves to a certain extent.) They expect their wife to take amazing care of her body, work 40+ hours a week, cook, clean, take care of baby, and perform like a porn star. You can't accuse them of not liking real women's bodies, though.
04:15 PM on 05/08/2012
Yes!! I cant begin to tell you the difference between what men find attractive and the unhealthy, emaciated look glamorized in popular media today. I always found blaming men for that confusing to say the least.

Cant really argue about the rest, though the working part was never on my list, or any of my buddies. That may be age related though as I am 45.
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01:46 PM on 05/09/2012
The problem is that "those that scream the loudest" are the men women seem to be competing for. Hypergamy in action. The men that aren't screaming have been deemed irrelevant.

Why do those women in their 20's even bother with the old men? That door swings both ways. Men will choose youth and beauty when offered. Perhaps offering it is part of the problem.