I can envision it now: "Do you take this woman -- and her new nose -- till death do you part?"
Those are words we may very well be hearing when "Bridalplasty," E's soon-to-premiere reality show, concludes its first season. When the promos came out promising "the only program where the winner gets cut," I figured it had to be some bad joke: a reality show wherein brides-to-be compete to win a surgical procedure? Sadly, it is all too real.
As a psychologist who writes about women's issues, I had a hard enough time watching bodies transformed on "Extreme Makeovers" and faces taken apart and put back together on "I Want a Famous Face." But I figured there was something sacred about weddings that made them off limits to beauty competitions. Wasn't getting the guy enough of a prize? Isn't a wedding day that one time a woman feels beautiful for all the right reasons?
I guess I should no longer be surprised, about neither the infinite cynicism that has come to reality television nor how out of control our obsession with beauty has become. Remember "Toddlers & Tiaras," that reality series where three- and four-year-olds strutted their stuff at beauty pageants? As these girls were transformed into mini Barbie Dolls by their overbearing mothers, we were simultaneously mesmerized and nauseated. And if that show didn't make you sick to your stomach, another one called "Mistress Makeovers" might. Already creating a buzz, the media says it will feature "Tiger Woods' alleged two mistresses" who will undergo plastic surgery in their quest to "start over" and "find true love."
Is it my training in matters of the mind that makes me wince at this so-called path toward reinvention of the body, or does anyone really believe that these transformations really work?
Clearly, these shows exist because people keep watching. And by doing so, we support a culture that tells everyday women, at a younger and younger age, that extreme measures are required to conform to an externally mandated definition of what is beautiful. And, we are reminded, if these seemingly unattainable standards are met, you will become a new person, find love and live happily ever after.
Perhaps it's time for us to respond to this ever-narrowing definition of beauty by turning off these loathsome shows, tuning out their distorted message and spreading a different one among our friends, sisters and daughters. Maybe in some small way we each can help the next generation of young women from slipping further down the slippery slope our culture has created for them.
The statistics alone should frighten us into action. More teens are requesting a wider range of cosmetic procedures: up 100 percent over the last ten years. The most popular include laser hair removal, liposuction and breast augmentation. The quest to fit in or look like airbrushed models on magazine covers has girls as young as eight years old asking for cosmetic intervention. They may be talking about their need for facials, weight-loss diets and bikini waxes now, but it won't be long before they ask to schedule botox injections along with their routine acne treatments. Add the plethora of "makeovers" TV shows to the mix and we have to ask ourselves, what we are saying about beauty to young girls whose bodies are just beginning to develop into women?
The point is, instead of supporting these trends, buying into these shows and wasting our time and precious influence, why don't we exchange ideas about what we really believe true beauty means? Beauty that comes from caring for our health, staying in shape, eating well and finding fulfillment may not look the same on everyone, but it is an attainable goal that will more likely last a lifetime.
Share your ideas and start a conversation about how women can define beauty on their own terms.
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What was interesting is that attractive applicants (applicants were given a measurement of good looks on a scale of 1-10, unrelated to age) showed significant differences in call backs for the next interview. The study didn't control for all variables, but suggested that at least getting a foot in the door at jobs is helped by the interviewer's perception of the applicant's attractiveness, basically proving that physical presentation does matter. How much good looks matter and over how long a period of time is a different question.
The Makeover Queen is Elle magazine's Holly Millea. She's had everything done, down to her privates. It is fascinating that she does all of these procedures to cover her insecurities, but then writes about them, betraying herself. The subject of beauty and suffering is important.Take care. BeyondBeautifulBabe.com
the physique and all that is visible to the naked eye, despite anything done to prevent its aging and decay, shall fade away with time, and to say the most of it, completely vanish...traces of attractiveness may be visible, but still, the original form shall never be the same again. women tend to forget that it's better to grow old graciously, with an inner beauty springing from deep within, than trying to maintain a youthful appearance with some rotten egoistical attitude. our physical selves are engineered by the creative intelligence to age..and the beauty of it is growing from deep within, to be a better person..few women and men may have this "inside and out" beauty...but, majority just possess the "outward" type that decays and fades.
if only women, and even men, think of the intangible things in life that are essential like unconditional love, truthful caring, etc...i believe the world would be a better place to live in. but, i also know that this is just wishful thinking...as the world is all enveloped in the package of how physical beauty matters more than the inner beauty.
Stop reading fashion magazines, stop watching porn, and start saying "no" to your kids when they give you the "but everyone's doing it" line.
The real question we need to be asking ourselves as women is why are we so damn insecure? Because this obsession with "beauty" and all of its excesses is keeping us down. I just saw a news item on TV about unemployed women over 40 getting plastic surgery to improve their odds at interviews. Really? Is it working? Or is this just another way for plastic surgeons to prey on yet another insecurity?
Trying to look good actually is more to please and feel good about themselves than anything else. Same reason most of us, women, normally just dont wake up from bed and go shopping without looking presentable, although when I go to the food market I see plenty of those. Au contraire to the popular belief, us women tend to look at other women in appreciation than take a look at men , ( so men better get over it ) unless of course they are too easy looking, not to notice..
Thousands of African-American women allowed their hair to grow natural in 'fros in the 60s (men also, but it was more significant with black women, who often have a struggle with "bad" hair--whole books have been written on the subject) Plus-size fashion models are becoming more popular. It's true that advertising has played a sinister role in showing us all images of perfect, photo-shopped young women with bodies and skin that in some cases are impossible to achieve without photoshop. Behind just about every problem in American society lies a corporatist conspiracy to make us all spend more money out of insecurity.
"Plastic people, oh baby now you're such a drag." Zappa had it right, as usual, and he wrote those lyrics in 1969.