More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.

Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.

GET UPDATES FROM Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.

How Affirmations Can Improve Your Life and Relationships

Posted: 06/ 9/11 08:12 AM ET

People use affirmations for different purposes. Some of us use them to program our subconscious mind to believe certain things, in order to attract and create the reality we desire. For example, some of us tell ourselves, "Every day and in every way I am getting better and better," or, " I love myself and attract to myself all the blessings and abundance of the universe."

There is value in affirmations of this nature. Our subconscious mind plays a major role in the actualization of our lives and the manifestation of our desires. What we believe about ourselves at a subconscious level can have a significant impact on the outcome of events.

When we feel good about ourselves and have a positive attitude, our lives tend to run more smoothly, with fewer obstacles, less chaos and drama and greater cooperation and support from others.

When we feel bad about ourselves and have a negative attitude, we tend to resist healthy choices, engage in more risky and impulsive behaviors, behave in a variety of self-sabotaging ways and put up walls between ourselves and others.

Consequently, affirmations, which program our subconscious mind to aid us in manifesting the destiny we desire, can be very helpful. If we pick two or three and repeat each of them 10 times to ourselves (or write them down) prior to going to sleep, it can't hurt. It can only help.

Affirmations can also be used throughout the day as reminders, in order to keep our consciousness focused on empowering messages so that we don't derail ourselves from accomplishing our goals.

For example, if we have a problem with anger, we might affirm and remind ourselves throughout the day that we don't need to take everything so personally, be so reactive or sweat the small stuff.

If we tend to let the external world define our happiness, we might affirm and remind ourselves throughout the day that happiness is a choice and that despite what's going wrong in our lives, we can choose to be happy.

If we tend to be self-centered, selfish and withholding toward others, the end result being relationships that are unsatisfying and unsustainable, we might affirm and remind ourselves throughout the day to be generous in spirit, to be of service to others and to share our blessings as best we can.

Every day we are bombarded with negative messages of fear, stress and violence. Is it any wonder that we are angry, confused, depressed and demoralized? Is it any wonder that we regress to less enlightened aspects of our nature?

The point is that we don't have to let this happen. We can neutralize the negativity that's swirling around us and within us. We can stay empowered and not react as victims. We can keep our mind's eye focused on right actions and worthy goals.

Consequently, we take a few moments throughout the day to affirm our ideals, to remind ourselves to stay calm and centered and to communicate effectively and compassionately with others, and to remind ourselves that negativity and fear are ideas that we need not let rule us.

 
 
 

Follow Walter E. Jacobson, M.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/walterdoc

People use affirmations for different purposes. Some of us use them to program our subconscious mind to believe certain things, in order to attract and create the reality we desire. For example, some ...
People use affirmations for different purposes. Some of us use them to program our subconscious mind to believe certain things, in order to attract and create the reality we desire. For example, some ...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 27
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
08:18 PM on 07/02/2011
You are on the money doc. I think the key is where you said, "we might affirm and remind ourselves throughout the day that happiness is a choice and that despite what's going wrong in our lives, we can choose to be happy."
We absolutely have the option to choose how we feel every moment of every day.
10:39 PM on 06/13/2011
I appreciate your post, Dr. Jacobson, both for its content and its timeliness. You emphasize the power of choice "we don't need to take everything so personally, be so reactive or sweat the small stuff," "happiness is a choice and that despite what's going wrong in our lives, we can choose to be happy" and "[t]he point is that we don't have to let this happen." Affirmations, properly anchored, can lead to better choices.

The greatest impediment to health and happiness in our era is the unwillingness to exercise the power of choice. I read a great piece by William George Jordan that treats this same subject from a 100 year old, yet timeless perspective. I think you'll like it: http://tinyurl.com/3mkgwje
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
08:25 AM on 06/14/2011
Thanks for your comment, Gregg, and for sharing your blog link. Well done.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
missmaryc
03:30 PM on 06/13/2011
The timing of your post couldn't be better for me. I've been sad and upset over the end of a relationship that just didn't go where and how I had hoped for. I haven't been feeling very happy, and have been doing what you described: "When we...have a negative attitude, we tend to resist healthy choices, engage in more risky and impulsive behaviors, behave in a variety of self-sabotaging ways and put up walls between ourselves and others." I took out the part about feeling bad about myself. I just feel terribly sad and disappointed. And while that's natural, I'm sure affirmations reminding myself that I can choose to be happy and positive and productive, in spite of what's making me sad, will be helpful (and as you write, can't hurt). Now I have to find a good way to remind myself to do it. I wonder if there's an app for that? :-)
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
08:29 AM on 06/14/2011
i''m sorry you are going through a difficult time. Try to look for the blessings in disguise. Try to look for the lessons and the growth that can come from the failed relationship. Have faith that from every ending blossoms new beginnings, new opportunities for love, happiness and peace of mind. To get into the habit of doing affirmations, to keep your mind on task, place post it notes with affirmations in various places: on your computer monitor, on your bathroom mirror, on your refrigerator, on your car dashboard, to keep affirmations and positive thoughts in the forefront of your mind. peace be with you.
rlivingston10116
Argue not with the universe; it's a bad listene
01:26 PM on 06/12/2011
Everything is happening precisely as it should be.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Valery Satterwhite
The Life You Lead is the Legacy You Leave
11:53 AM on 06/10/2011
Affirmations are great IF you believe what you're affirming. They're ineffective, if not self-sabotaging, if you don't believe your affirmation. For example, if you're not happy with the shape of your body and your daily affirmation is "I'm a healthy, beautiful person" and your next thought is "Yeah, right..who am I kidding" you instill the vibration of 'I'm not a healthy, beautiful person" and that thought dovetails into other self-sabotaging thoughts, choices, actions. Therefore its important to format affirmations in a way that they are believable to you..."I'm on my way to being a healthy, beautiful person."
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:31 AM on 06/11/2011
I agree. Negative thoughts will sabotage and neutralize affirmations. Negative thoughts are basically negative affirmations that impede the flow of creative, positive energy. thanks for your comment.
04:27 PM on 06/11/2011
Bingo!
12:51 AM on 06/10/2011
Thanks for sharing.
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:32 AM on 06/11/2011
thank you.
10:17 PM on 06/09/2011
Thanks! Great post.
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:34 AM on 06/11/2011
thank you.
photo
jf12
Occupying myself
05:21 PM on 06/09/2011
My problem is not me saying yes, it is others not saying yes.
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:35 AM on 06/11/2011
I appreciate what you're saying but consider this: your problem is thinking you need others to say yes.
photo
jf12
Occupying myself
10:13 AM on 06/11/2011
Specifically in the cases that I'm talking about, yes. It would hardly do to order my wife to spread her legs, for instance. Although the occasional fantasy of me running roughshod over all creation is amusing, I really couldn't see myself ignoring all "no"s, "stop"s and "help"s for very long.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Majestry
05:02 PM on 06/09/2011
You know, I've never actually tried positive affirmations -- mostly because it seems completely bogus to me -- but I guess there really is no harm in giving it a shot. The amount of time it takes and the effort is a worthwhile risk to take if it doesn't work.

I'd say that taking good risks is probably one of my biggest problems. I am definitely self destructive in the sense that instead of taking good risks where what I am losing is much less than the potential upside, I take bad risks where the upside is negligible and the downside potential is immense.

For example, I have had what could conservatively be described as an incredibly eventful life. I am an extremely good writer -- don't let my poor grammar in this post fool you -- and I would benefit greatly from writing a memoir for catharsis if nothing else. Unfortunately, I haven't started because I am concerned that it will end up being a waste of time, I won't be able to publish it, and no one will want to read it.
06:07 PM on 06/10/2011
"I do things that are good for me" "I no longer feel the need to be self-destructive" "I am now on my way to writing a memoir of my life and loving every minute of it"!
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:43 AM on 06/11/2011
i like your affirmations, Soliel. thanks for adding to the power of the post.
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:42 AM on 06/11/2011
Affirmations are one of many tools one can use to re-program the subconscious mind to work with one's goals rather than subvert one's goals due to fear. Sending yourself positive messages is never a waste of time. I encourage you to spend a few minutes every day with a few affirmations, the ones from Sollel (who commented to your comment below) seem to be a reasonable place to start. my book, forgive to win, provides additional tools for ending self-sabotaging behaviors.
02:20 PM on 06/09/2011
Great job, very nice article, Walter! If we could affirm not to project our own negativity onto others, perhaps we'd be better human beings. There is a cataclysm of negativity around us. But, if we had more people who think like you, the world would certainly be a better place.
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:45 AM on 06/11/2011
i agree with your thoughts about negativity in the world and thank you for your kind reference to me.
photo
Marcus01
It all just seems like it's real
01:42 PM on 06/09/2011
Neat little article expressing a truth so many don't want to hear: how we feel is not determined by external stimuli. How we feel is a choice.

Dr David Hawkins, in his groundbreaking treatise on consciousness, Power vs Force, defines the point at which we break out of unconscious behavior and step into our own power. It's the point at which we stop placing blame for how we feel on things external to ourselves. It's where we begin to wake up and realize that no one but ourselves is responsible for our emotional well being. We can jump into the pilot's seat and take the controls, instead of just being along for the ride.
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:48 AM on 06/11/2011
very well said and spot on! thanks for adding a very powerful and valid statement.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bloomingdedalus
08:35 AM on 06/09/2011
Great, more reasons to feel guilty about having always been depressed!
photo
hp blogger Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Speaker & Author of "Forgive To Win!
06:56 AM on 06/11/2011
I'm sorry you perceived my post as another nail in your coffin of guilt. i encourage you to work on releasing the power you have given guilt in your mind. let it go. embrace the power of now and free yourself of the burdens of the past. i suspect your response to this is "easier said than done." what isn't?
07:25 AM on 06/16/2011
In case Walter's answer iddn't make you feel any better, maybe being featured as the lead in to this article when we shared it from the pewlpit, and even making the front page will...