Gays to Obama: "We've Seen Enough"

A debate is raging on whether to have a national gay March on Washington in October. Most leaders I have spoken with are against the idea, preferring to keep scarce financial and human resources in the states. Others, such as myself, are largely ambivalent. A galvanizing force, however, is giving new life to this idea and his name is Barack Obama.

The president is in serious danger of motivating a huge mass of gay people to stream into Washington for the simple joy of standing in front of the White House and giving him a piece of their minds. This frustration may lead to an embarrassing situation for the president, where former supporters mount the largest anti-Obama pep rally not fronted by Sarah Palin.

Today, an array of LGBT leaders expressed their dismay with the president by pulling out of a Democratic National Committee fundraiser. The action is in protest of a noxious legal brief submitted by the Department of Justice. It implausibly defended the heinous Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) by using anti-gay arguments that likely drew a standing ovation from Rev. Pat Robertson.

DOJ's paper included a comparison of gay relationships to incest and opposed same-sex relationships on the absurd basis that it would cost taxpayers money (Don't gay people pay taxes?). HRC also sent a pointed letter to Obama highlighting the betrayal felt by the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.

"I cannot overstate the pain that we feel as human beings and as families when we read an argument, presented in federal court, implying that our own marriages have no more constitutional standing than incestuous ones," wrote HRC's president, Joe Solmonese.

The deteriorating situation is exacerbated by confusion about who will push for equality. The Obama administration claims to be awaiting congressional action on a number of issues, including ending employment discrimination, eliminating DOMA and repealing Don't Ask/Don't Tell. Meanwhile, Senate majority leader Harry Reid is waiting for Obama to act, as well as the House of Representatives. The LGBT community has become a hot potato that the Democrats do not seem to want to touch.

Aggravating matters was John Berry, the highest-ranking gay official in the administration. In an interview with The Advocate, he said that Obama's timetable to enact his pro-gay campaign promises is "before the sun sets on this administration." So, now we have to wait 4-8 years, while watching him suck up to Rick Warren on Day 1?

For what seemed like forever, Democrats told us that when the big bad Republicans went away, our lives would improve. Well, the Republican nightmare is over, so why do I still feel like I'm in the middle of a political Friday the 13th movie?

The Democrats took our money, our votes and our volunteer hours and now they tell us to wait patiently, like good little gays. As far as I'm concerned, if the donkeys can't deliver now, they can kiss my ass. The Democrats run the show in Washington and if they will not act like a majority party, then they do not deserve to be one.

This is not about making unreasonable policy demands, but about the Democrats recognizing the daily struggles faced by gay people. A new report by The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs said, "Violence against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people increased 2% from 2007 to 2008, continuing the trend of a 24% total increase in 2007."

Yesterday, I read about a lesbian who was barred from visiting her partner in a Fresno hospital, and as a result her partner received the wrong medication. Last week, I was in conservative Western Michigan where I spoke to young people who were nearly driven to suicide as a result of anti-gay attitudes.

We need a president who recognizes these evils and demonstrates the courage and leadership to enact the change he so eloquently promised during his campaign.

If Obama continues down the current path it will come at a steep price. When Bill Clinton settled for Don't Ask/Don't Tell, it solidified the growing perception that he was "Slick Willie." By turning his back on the gay community, Obama will play into the idea, stoked by Hillary Clinton and exploited by John McCain, that he is a man of beautiful, yet empty words.

What Obama fails to understand is that when poetry does not translate into policy, and hope turns hollow, the American people will begin to tune him out.

I'm still undecided about the wisdom of a march on Washington, but I am decidedly fed up with my political "friends" marching all over my dignity and taking my support for granted. If the majority party does not cough up the votes to protect our families, we should close down our generous coffers.

 

 

Follow Wayne Besen on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Truthwinout

Comments

[jamal49]

As if there are enough gays and lesbians to make a difference. Come on, folks! Pres. Obama and his administration have taken the intelligent path to helping us get our civil rights. This is a hot-button issue for the GOP and its so-called base. It makes sense to do this cautiously considering how much mileage the GOP has gotten out of being against civil rights for the LGBT community. Our time is coming. I have no objection to the deliberately cautious way it is being handled. More will get accomplished by building coalitions and by educating the voting public than will be accomplished by screaming and acting like spoiled brats. Our cause is just. Our time will come. Patience, please. And, if Wayne Besen wants to high-tail it out of here, good riddance! He's just a name-dropping, circuit party queen anyway.

[We-Are-The-Ones]

The dailykos, lists all of the LGBT legislation coming before or proceeding through Congress.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/6/19/744503/-Good-News-on-the-LGBT-front!-(and-what-you-need-to-do-to-help)

1. the Domestic Partner Benefits and Obligation Act

2. the Employment Non-Discrimination Act

3. the Matthew Shepard Act

4. the Military Readiness Enhancement Act

5. the Uniting American Families

The author explains each bill, provides a status and sets forth what each of us can do individiually to move the bills forward. There is a list of 4-5 specific legislation that impacts the LGBT Community.

I agree with Carlos Watson, we need to stop looking to the President to solve all the problems alone, we need to get involved ourselves AND we need to force Congress to do its job. Only Congress can legislate.

Get on it. Contact your federal legislator.

[superstition]

Congress is one of the three branches of government and the President is the leader of the country and the Democratic Party.

[BoyInBOYCOTT]

btw
In all the years of Will and Grace, and NONE of the characters ever knew someone with AIDS.

how precious, what bizarro universe was this show filmed in?

[antaeus]

That was a gay version of the minstrel show, satisfied with making a buck by reinforcing a mainstream audience's shallow view of gay life, not challenging it.

The fact that one of the show's creators comes to this site in order to declaim on gay civil rights is an affront.

[MrEguy]

Thank you for saying so, antaeus.

I've told friends, many times, that I saw Sean Hayes' character "Jack" as a gay version of Step'n fetchit. The swishy, silly, non-threatening queeny stereotype was safe enough for the masses. The show exploited stereotypes and broke no barriers.

[johnosahon]

Why is Obama that is the ONLY target? and who are the "gays" you speak of, you are CERTAINLY not speaking for me.

Obama is not magically going to sign a bill that does not exist, where is the pressure on law makers, you know the ones who gave us DADT, DOMA?

[superstition]

There has been a Tauscher bill languishing for some time now with no support from the President and Democratic leaders in Congress say they won't support it until Obama does.

And, Obama chose to stab us in the back with the DADT and DOMA briefs. He has chosen to fire 245 or so more soldiers, including Victor Fehrenbach who has a medal for heroism.

Giving Victor a dishonorable discharge for his service dishonors everyone except him.

[S1m0n]

Because he's the man setting the direction for the justice department, whose worst possible legal brief ignited this bonfire.

[lamarkpowells]

I think to say that obama is the problem is a mistake but with that said gay people need to march on washington and show obama that this is possible. Standing up for your rights is the right thing to do. but the focus shouldnt be Obama it should be equal rights. If that makes obama look bad because he hasnt moved fast enough on equal rights thats not the Gay communities fault thats Obama's fault. And I say that not to be critical of obama

[antaeus]

Obama is one of the most enlightened and progressive presidents we've had in American history, but we're writing him off? Or only giving him one term? Only narcissists could think like that.

Foundational social change is a painfully slow process, and I hate to break it to you, but top-down change by fiat doesn't work: it's shallow, forced, and engenders a profound reaction.

Full equality for women has been a centuries-long process, and it's still not done. Toni Morrison compared the pace of the black civil rights movement to "a slow walk of trees." Do you grasp the metaphor?

Binary opposition is built into the American political system, and a third progressive party is not going to be viable in 2012. Dumping Obama makes no sense.

[superstition]

No, we're writing the Obama who we have right now.

We'll take the Obama who said our relationships are unequivocally equal, that he supports same-sex marriage fully.

We'll take the Obama who is a fierce advocate, for us, not Pat Robertson.

We'll take the Obama whose wife said there is a civil rights struggle "from Selma to Stonewall".

We'll take that Obama who called DOMA abhorrent.

We'll take that Obama who strongly condemned DADT and promised to end it.

Only we'll take this Obama instead of the one who has betrayed us by filing unnecessary and homophobic briefs defending DADT and DOMA, continues to fire 245 soldiers and counting, and who seems to think we're going to settle for the meagerest of crumbs, crumbs only offered to save a fundraiser.

He has shown us that he doesn't have any actual integrity when it comes to our civil rights. So, what we'll take is an Obama who understands that action brings in money, not just empty rhetoric.

[antaeus]

Your absolutist criticism and recitation of shortcomings always appear to take place in an idealized landscape where political realities never intrude.

The practical truth is that any president has multiple and disparate constituencies, and he cannot become the "gay rights" president in the eyes of the independents and swing voters--never mind the rest of the boobocracy--or he risks losing power altogether.

And then Pat Robertson will indeed have the White House on speed dial again. Is that what you want?

[jcwtts1]

The model LGBT keep using is blacks in the civil rights movement. It is a bad model. Use women in the suffrage movement instead. The operation, like the black civil rights movement, was a political machine without the court cases. That is what you need to do. Instead of backing away from politics done DNC style and doing nothing. Hold your own fundraiser, raise so much money for the people who publicly support you like sen Giliibrand that they can't spend it all. She came out with a public statement. Why hasn't she raised 500,000 dollars this week? You understand part of what is going on in politics but not the whole picture. If Gillibrand comes out for you, especially on a tough week, and raises 500,000 to a million bucks... how many more people will step up. And early money runs politics. Why aren't you guys in FL picking the dem challenger to the open seat. I keep hearing about this LGBT atm, well, make a withdrawal.

J

[superstition]

Michele Obama spoke of a civil rights struggle "from Selma to Stonewall" at a 2008 fundraiser, according to the AP.

More importantly, due to the ACTION of she and her husband, Coretta Scott King said:

"For too long, our nation has tolerated the insidious form of discrimination against this group of Americans, who have worked as hard as any other group, paid their taxes like everyone else, and yet have been denied equal protection under the law...

'

Gays and lesbians stood up for civil rights in Montgomery, Selma, in Albany, Ga. and St. Augustine, Fla., and many other campaigns of the Civil Rights Movement,' she said. 'Many of these courageous men and women were fighting for my freedom at a time when they could find few voices for their own, and I salute their contributions.'"

"I believe that freedom and justice cannot be parceled out in pieces to suit political convenience."

[jcwtts1]

Good luck, what you will most likely do is halt any small gains this last week has made, push him to replace your votes with center right independents and allow people who are not your friends to whisper in his ear that he can safely leave office without doing anything substantive on your issues. In October of this year there will be 7-9 senate races that the dems have a chance to win and a health care bill that effects everyone in the country, talk about fiddling while Rome burns. Not actually but visually.

If the LGBT movement is part of the run for 7-9 senate seats then I feel sure they will have access to much of the legislative juice needed to pass the bills necessary to over turn DOMA and DADT etc. Right now you don't have it and yelling at the President about it won't get you that juice.

[aftershock]

"hat you will most likely do is halt any small gains this last week has made"

What gains?!?! The gay rights movement took a MAJOR step back with the arguments advanced in the DOJ's DOMA brief, and the benefits extended to gay govt. employees were already being extended for the most part. So where's this "step forward" for the GRM? I must've missed it...

[jcwtts1]

wow, ok, you did not take a step back. The case was DOA, the brief had nothing to do with the outcome. So what did the brief cost you? Nothing. It actually put you in a position of demanding certain things from the Obama White House and DOJ. It cost you no ground in that fight, it allowed for this meeting to happen, where even his GOP critics have to admit that it is necessary. It also puts the president on the defensive during all discussions of your issues this year. What did you lose? In the meantime the expansion of benefits is symbolic, the recognition of same sex relationships with ambassadors is also historic. The inclusion of LGBT couples at the Easter egg hunt, putting DADT into review.... all of these small things combine to equal a shift in policy. Again what did you lose? Where is the step back? All I see if the LGBT community levering itself forward. Now, if you honestly think Obama, personally, believes that same sex marriage is like bestiality then what are we even talking about. He could do exactly what Bush did, nothing. But he is not, he is moving, incrementally, the LGBT agenda. He won't push for anything this term, he can't for a ton of political reasons you probably don't care about. But you aren't going backwards.

[BoyInBOYCOTT]

@jcwtts1

This isn't OUR (LGBTs) first trip to the rodeo, and gay Rights battles didn't begin under OBAMA.

Try running a democratic candidate LGBT folks don't sponsor in SF, LA, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Minneapolis, Philly, Boston, Seattle, New Orleans, Atlanta, Miami, Santa fe, Phoenix, Las Vegas......do that, and come back and tell me how that worked out for ya.

[LovelyLisa1920]

Where you really expecting Obama to legalize gay marriage (even though he isn't for it), overturn "Don't ask don't tell", and the whole bit? With guns ablazin', Huh?

Can we say, "unrealistic" ?

The LGBT community needs to get REALLY real. Stop preaching to the choir, dig deep , do the hard stuff ( think police dogs and water hoses), and really change hearts and minds, the REAL "civil rights" way.

Throwing around money and votes simply won't cut it.

[Awake-and-Sing]

I wasn't.

I was expecting his Administration not to stab us in the back with his tacit endorsement with this offensive legal brief to uphold DOMA.

That was a reasonable expectation. So pathetic that our "fierce advocate" couldn't and wouldn't even live up to that.

[LovelyLisa1920]

Your stab in the back is more like a, "hey guys, I'm gonna stab you in your chest, but I told months ago that I would. Okay?".

I'm a Obama supporter, but I have no problems saying when his wrong. I think it is valid to call to question the language of the DOMA. Ask if he really believes the offensive statements in the brief. If he does (which I doubt seriously), then chose someone else in 2012.

However, being offended does not change the fact, LGBT are NOT going to get a win out the President Obama when it comes to Gay Marriage. He has always stated his opposition to gay marriage. So to be shocked and appalled seems almost silly. I'm shocked that you're shocked!

Wasted unproductive energy.

[BoyInBOYCOTT]

I expected damn little of Obama, maybe some judges and justices who were reasonably FAIR, and LGBT groups will win our OWN EQUALITY.
What I never expected is Obama's administration would SPIT ON our families.

THAT crossed the line, and we are letting him and his administration there are STIFF PENALTIES for early withdrawl.

[LovelyLisa1920]

How dramatic.

The fact is, Obama was NEVER for gay marriage. Your bad for believing otherwise.

[scotia626]

Obama is proving to be a self-centered opportunistic hypocrite. even if he alone cant ACT, he can SPEAK! his silence is deafening and if we dont march and stay in his face we will be forgotten. the time for action is now. The god monsters will never go away. he has used the gay community the way the repugs have used the christian wackos- its the EXACT same political game. He is not "change". he is proving to be EXACTLY what he said he wasnt. and its very very sad.

[jcwtts1]

Obama can't speak. I mean think about this, if he is going to speak he might as well push the agenda now.All that will happen is wall to wall coverage. It will force him to act. It is almost the same thing. You want him to stand up, I get that, but it isn't possible. Maybe after health care, maybe after education. Maybe after the midterms, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Think this time next term.

[aftershock]

And than next term it'll be energy and global warming, and the emerging threat from Pakistan that must be addressed. Maybe after the next midterms. Look, this is reality, and in reality there are always problems, big problems that need to be addressed. That does not mean the others should be ignored. I mean repairing the economy could be called a monumentally difficult task in and of itself, yet he's also trying to fix health care, education, and change our foreign policy, get some kind of new energy proposals going, but somehow, this issue of gay rights cannot also be addressed. Guess he shouldn't try to tackle all that his first term, maybe just health care and the economy, and than we'll worry about education, energy, foreign policy, the wars, etc. in his next term (which isn't even guaranteed).

[scotia626]

leaders lead even when its "messy"; there will NEVER be a time in this country when at least 30% of the people are fearful bigots. the time to lead is now- indeed the very fact that there are so many other issues where there should be vigourous debate- like health care, education, banking makes this the perfect time to introduce human rights changes- leaving those that oppose to look a little misguided in view of the real issues they should be debating!

obama is proving to be our first "people magazine" president- more concerend about his checkout stand image than actually improving the country.

[KidHollywood]

There is never a quirt time in Goverment. Perhaps african Americans should have waited until after the Veitnam War

[AbbieXHoffman]

I think a march is a fabulous idea. If you want the POTUS and Congress to feel the pressure to do something and you have to help them....make them....do something.

You help them by doing your PR yourself and a televised march with lots of people is part of that PR. It helps give the elected officials some cover showing they are indeed responding to voters desires.

[antaeus]

Toni Morrison likened the painfully slow and sometimes-­impercepti­ble pace of the black civil rights movement to "a slow walk of trees."

Another thinker reflected on frustration within the women's rights movement by suggesting that full gender equality would be a 500-year process--and in the late 20th century, we were only halfway there.

By all means, let us keep raising our voices in constructive ways, even bringing pressure to bear. But do so soberly and patiently, with mindfulness of the realities of social change.

[LovelyLisa1920]

Totally agree!

These movements were successful, not because of any particular elected official, but because the people within the movement were successful in changing hearts and minds of people. The LGBT community simply need to put in the slow-moving, painstaking work of changing us a nation.

That has to happen, there is not a quick fix. Elections and money just won't cut it.

[aftershock]

Uhh huh. That's why the American public was overwhelmingly against integration and allowing interracial marriage when they were enacted, because the "hearts and minds" of all those bigots had been swayed. Right.... Nothing is gained by sitting back and saying "Please sir, may I have some more rights?" Direct action, pressure on elected officials, and most likely a court decision is what will eventually grant gays and lesbians full rights. This changing hearts and minds crap is just that, crap. You are not going to change the mind of someone who thinks you're a perverted deviant who chooses a life that destines you to hell. Gay people are often ostracized from even their immediate families for the mere act of being honest about who they are and you think they can change the minds of people who have no connection to them what-so-ever?!?! I mean, honestly this is getting beyond frustrating.

[BoyInBOYCOTT]

more than 40 years too quick for ya, what the hell are you a tortoise?

[bogues]

I am completely in support of those in the Gay and Lesbian community who are fighting to be treated equally in this country, I am however sad to see and hear that they have so quickly decided that their plight should take up more of President Obama's time than the economy, the security of our nation and the unrest that exists around the world. Give the President a chance to get done some of the things that must be done in order to get our country back on the right track and make us safer. When you hold his feet to the fire and publicly embarrass him and turn on him before he has even begun, you lessen not only your chances for getting what you need but you actually lessen the chances of America moving forward and getting stronger. I guess I am trying to say, The needs of the country should come before the needs of an individual group. I do believe that President Obama wants to see all people treated equally and these groups are going to have to give him time.

[Awake-and-Sing]

If you are worried about the President's time, perhaps you should be upset with him and his Administration that they decided to use it filing an offensive and outrageous legal brief to uphold DOMA in direct contradiction to their campaign promises.

They picked this fight with the gay community after only five months and on the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall. We are only standing up for ourselves.

Perhaps the Administration should have been more focused on health care reform which looks like it is about to go down the tubes because the President isn't being a "fierce advocate" for it any more than did he turn out to be the "fierce advocate" of us.

And, since we are bringing up selfishness -- how selfish of some non-gays to think their civil rights are more important than ours.

[jcwtts1]

are you crazy, the picked this fight, the LGBT community has been screaming at him for 8 months.

[ProfessorDuh]

As Joshua Frank said, "If not now, when exactly will Obama’s policies be scrutinized with the same veracity that Bush’s were? When will the media end its love affair with Obama and hold his feet to the fire like they did Bush once the wheels fell off the war in Iraq? When will progressives see their issues as paramount and oppose Obama and the Democratic Party until they embrace their concerns?"

[PhilipB]

Hi Bogues,
Thank you for stating your position without including language that trivializes my lack of equality. Official in-equality does real harm for me and my family. It is a serious matter, and i appreciate not being insulted. Thanks.
Actually, i was waiting patiently before the DOMA brief came out, which was insulting to me and others, and the memo which was benefits without benefits. For me, these recent events combined were a precipitating incident.
I have now come to the conclusion that organizations that claim to fight for my equality have no intention of doing so, ever.
That is why i am speaking out now.
Thanks

[JETS67]

I appreciate your comment from a rational perspective, looking at our country's situation as a whole.

What non-LGBT Americans need to understand and respect, however, is that if LGBT Americans don't make their equality of paramount interest to them, no one else is going to. Their plight SHOULD take precedence for them over all other plights, because it's THEIR plight and their rights on the line.

[robieusa]

Gay people in the US need to take a page from the Civil Rights Movement of the last century: If your voice isn't heard, make it heard. If your heard voice is ignored, take action. Take passive action, until it proves useless, then become more militant until you get the same rights that anyone else has. Pretty simple, really.

[Kirk59]

Unfortunately, we live in a very religious and puritan country where many people invoke the bible as a reason to deny gays the right to marry. In fact, your very existence is an affront to the christian right. The same kind of religious venom could not be tapped in the civil rights fight over race.
To overcome these narrow minded people, gays need to acquire the support of more fair minded straight people. You have much support already, but not enough of us see this as a fundamental civil rights issue.
Where is your charismatic leader? Who is your MLK? What businesses should we be boycotting? Which Congressional leaders need to be taken to the woodshed? You helped us elect Obama, but it was not just the LGBT people who elected him. He is not going to grant you civil rights unilaterally. It needs to be a movement of all sorts of people who see your struggle in Constitutional terms.

[bogues]

You are so right. They now have a President who believes that they should be treated with respect and with equal rights like every other American. They are making a mistake by publicly ridiculing him. They are not going to get the support from the straight community that they need, if they are going to turn on a man who is their ally..

[Awake-and-Sing]

Regardless of what he says he believes, like any politician, we need to look at his actual actions.

The legal brief defending DOMA and his tacit endorsement of it is a direct contradiction to what he told us he believed and would do when he asked for our time, money and vote.

We are not "ridiculing" him. We are with all seriousness holding him accountable, just like asked us to do on the campaign trail.

A true "ally" is someone who's actions match their words.

[BoyInBOYCOTT]

an ALLY doesn't compare OUR FAMILIES to cousin-f___ers.
If you don't understand our anger.....oh well.

[PhilipB]

Hi Bogues,
"publically ridiculing"
Ridicule...no, I would not say I have seen ridicule. I do see outrage from an insulting DOMA brief which causes real harm. I see LGBT families come to realize that their silence will only continue their official second class citizenship.
I also do not feel that I have to behave in a certain way that is more palatable to some: I think that in so doing my silence is complicit with in-action.

[aftershock]

"The same kind of religious venom could not be tapped in the civil rights fight over race. "

It could and very much was. Or are you under the impression that the Bible doesn't support slavery and have verses that can be cited to oppose interracial marriage?

[LovelyLisa1920]

I couldn't agree more.
I wonder sometimes what the LGBT community was expecting to happen. Obama has been very clear about his veiws on gay marriage, and a host of "gay issues" from the very start. To expect dramatic, sweeping changes, simply because you want them, is unrealistic, and well, silly. As an African-American, I hear the same kind of talk from some of my fellow African-Americans. It just doesn't work that way. Making things happen for the LGBT community (or the African-American community, or Latino Community) is quite frankly NOT Obama's job.
This "Obama has to do it" mentality will kill this "movement". It is simply not about electing the right person, and throwing political money around. If that were the case, the Civil Rights Movement would have occured during the Reconstruction Era.
All successful movements were successful in changing hearts and minds of the populice. The LGBT community simply has not done a sufficient job of this.

[ProfessorDuh]

Those same churches once assured them that black people were made inferior by God and deserved to be be enslaved. Religious "morality" is highly overrated.