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Wendi Deng Murdoch

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The Meaning of Lao Tong

Posted: 11/16/11 06:21 PM ET

"Lao tong" is an ancient Chinese phrase meaning "friends for life," and it's the secret formula that turned all the challenges of producing my first film, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan into occasions for grateful celebration. When I set out to make this bestselling book into a movie, I knew the risks. Here was a story adored by people around the world who each had their own conceptions of how it ought to appear on the big screen. Moreover, the story concerned a secret lifelong friendship between two girls in 19th century China. Not your automatic blockbuster topic! Finally, I knew that by deciding the film should be shot in China itself -- where I'd lived until I was 19 years old -- I was setting the biggest hurdle of all. But the universal theme of intense, fearless friendship resonated so strongly with me that I felt confident my dreams for the film would come true.

The word "lao tong," once holding a historic meaning, now had a modern and relevant definition for me. In fact, even before we launched the production process, I found my amazing family of lao tongs rallying around me. These connections kept me feeling brave. The wonderful writer Amy Tan introduced me to Lisa See's novel. Without Amy's friendship, I would never have been inspired to start this project. My great friend Florence Sloan joined as my supportive and strong producing partner and together we found ourselves lucky enough to have a director of the caliber of Wayne Wang sign on to work with us. Everyone involved with the production wanted to live up to this good fortune. All the people who dedicated themselves to helping us throughout the filming and after are my lao tongs, whether or not I knew them before we began working together. How appropriate that in creating a film with a tale of powerful friendship at its core, I should feel myself embraced by so many supportive friends!

This feeling has continued building momentum since the shooting. We had a series of lao tong screenings all around the country. In San Francisco, we met a host of impressive figures from Silicon Valley, along with the mayor of San Francisco. In Los Angeles, I had the privilege of watching my good friend Willow Bay interview Wayne along with actress Bing Bing Li and Lisa See. When we screened the film in New York City, everyone from Diane von Furstenberg, Nicole Kidman, Diana Taylor, Ivanka Trump, Ben Kingsley and Deb Lee Jackman came out to support us. Senator Chris Dodd welcomed me at the Motion Picture Association of America to help celebrate 10 years of co-productions with China. Standing between Senator Dodd and Zhang Yesui, the Chinese Ambassador to the United States, I know I am not alone. Many people have created their own lao tongs fostering better relationships between China and the United States.

Today I'm still getting a kick out of the unexpected connections being forged through this film. Just last week, I had one of the most poignant encounters I've experienced since the release of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. I was attending a screening at Stanford University. The auditorium was packed with 450 people. After it was over, a student made her way up to me, said how much she enjoyed the film and told me it reminded me of her own closest friendship. Recently, she and her childhood friend have had some misunderstanding and fallen out of touch. But she told me that after watching this film, "I've made up my mind to call her and reconnect. She is my lao tong."

 
 
 
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garymiceli
Know what day this is? ... me neither.
11:05 PM on 11/20/2011
I do sincerely wish you success with your project ... but I think you might do well to look into coming back down to Earth with the real people, woman ... and you also might want to contact Guinness and look into the world record for name dropping in one four paragraph article.
10:30 PM on 11/20/2011
Ridiculous! is that okay to say HUFF-POST without hurting her sensibilities?!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Aj Beamish
More human than you, man.
07:30 PM on 11/20/2011
Why are you here?
JackVandusen
Switched to coffee
07:00 PM on 11/20/2011
If you have positive things to say about the film, your comments are welcomed here.
If you're unwilling to shower praise, your comment will be deleted.
Therefore, regardless of true feeling, "I loved it."
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KingKrub
06:30 PM on 11/20/2011
Who's husband does she intent to scroo net?
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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12:22 PM on 11/17/2011
I LOVE this movie.

Sure I haven’t seen it, but since Mrs. Murdoch made it, it must be the best Sino-American movie of the century. It’s even better than the book, as it is so vividly presented, making us feel that the best friend in a woman’s life is often not her husbands.

Bravo, Wendi, please make some more and tell us about it here!!!
12:09 PM on 11/17/2011
The mystery unravels to what is a friend. In past experiences you don’t really know who your friends are until something happens. In writing a poetic short story there are several personalities a character can have much like in real life. Therefore hurdles become pragmatic for the author how to find true dynasty in a person’s growth, however when they developed a solid foundation to their upbringing their individuality can be predicted. Coincidently often when a good short story is established messages of warmth initiate gratitude. Ironically this forms a friendship and it becomes a blockbuster for life.
07:11 AM on 11/17/2011
I enjoyed the film.

(When you struck back at the guy who threw the pie at your husband, I knew I was looking at a fellow volleyball player; you looked like you were spiking a volleyball)
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julieJgoldengay
Buffalo Woman of the L-Train
09:19 PM on 11/16/2011
Movies can Change...
Our World.
Art does That.
Lucky Us.
08:51 PM on 11/16/2011
Love this blog. As someone who is originally from China and now working in Hollywood, this really reminded me of why I am where I am today. The movie"Snow flower and the secret fan" set a great example for cultural exchanges between China and the US. Definitely recommend it to people who would love to know more about China's culture and history!
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Hillrick
...wheel to the storm and fly!
06:53 PM on 11/16/2011
Ooops. Just realized, in my other comment, that I may not be remembering correctly which city the modern portion was staged in. Sorry 'bout that.
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Hillrick
...wheel to the storm and fly!
06:49 PM on 11/16/2011
I just watched it with my wife, she is from Guangxi, and I liked it. I've seen quite a few movies made in China that I liked, this one was a little different because most of the cast didn't die in the end. Excellently handled, delivering the Chinese perspective on hardships and suffering, a totally different approach than ours. Still something I cannot understand, in this case the sacrifice of friendship to help the other, very deeply moving at the same time makes me feel what a waste to give up something like this. Makes for a great story but a tragic way to live. Also a window into what is happening in China now, tearing down the old for the new. I couldn't help thinking what a shame the house the Aunt lived in being in such disrepair and not to be here long too. Good job on your first film.