I woke up this morning with absolute certainty that a specific part of my life needs to change. Have you ever had that feeling? The sense that you've struggled long enough to resolve something, nothing is working, and now you just simply will not tolerate it anymore?
What did you do about it?
It seems to be a fairly human thing to try to ignore it, deny it, not look at it. Anything is easier than facing our demons, getting to the bottom of stuff, and doing the work (which may include going through some pain) to get a different result. You know that old definition of insanity, right?
I've been here before, for changes huge and medium-sized. Maybe you have too? So this is a reminder to us all that the 3 ways we humans really change anything are:
ONE: Get absolutely certain that things must change and you must change them. Wishy-washy, maybe, minor discomforts rarely empower us to make radical, massive changes in our lives.
TWO: Honestly assess how long you've been trying to change the situation, and whether or not it is time to call in the next tier of support. "Support" means whatever you haven't been trying already. Maybe you find that talking to your friends and reading self-help books now and then hasn't gotten you the result. That means it's time to pull in the big guns - a psychologist, a doctor, a counselor, a treatment center, whatever. (You will be able to judge how committed you really are to change by whether or not you are willing to take this step).
THREE: Buckle in for the long haul. Truth be told, you know as well as I do that big problems and long-term issues aren't likely to be resolved in a day. You can crack open some situations and change them on the outside in a moment, but doing it in a way that heals your heart and soul long term is likely to take time, just like healing a cut on the body.
The fact that you haven't been able to change this situation with any combination of will power, crying, begging, praying, counseling, reading, beating yourself up emotionally and/or whatever else you've tried only means this: you need more strength and better strategies. You may be exhausted emotionally by your continual failure to make changes.
That's OK. Everyone gets weak and tired after a prolonged struggle.
Give yourself a rest by taking a sheet of paper and listing all the ways you have tried to change the situation. Flip the paper over and list all the things you have NOT tried. Pick one and try it. You don't have anything to lose.
Change is hard. Life requires growth. Only you can choose when you have suffered enough and only you can effect lasting change. No one else holds the keys to your prison.