I was fully awake when my heart stopped beating and my last breath passed my lips.
In the Spring of 2003, a genetic time bomb went off and my body's time came to an end. The moment of death was upon me at age fifty-three and I found it a curious thing indeed. People around me grew quite excited but an untroubled calm came over me, carrying me further and further away from the scene, as if moving me to an invisible but familiar place just sideways to where my body lay. The sirens of the ambulance were soft and melodic, the questions of the emergency room doctors sounded like a different language.
Minutes after they placed me on the emergency room table and fit an oxygen mask over my face, I felt my heart stop beating and I sighed my last breath. There was the briefest pause while my conscious personality puzzled that I did not gasp for breath nor seem concerned that my body had just died -- and then it was suddenly cradled in my higher soul and I was catapulted, for that is the only word for it, catapulted, wide awake, out of my body and into the Sphere of Universal Communion.
My whole life, it turned out, had been practice for the moment of dying: my higher soul stepped forward, speaking reassuringly about how it had been through this so many times before. While my lower soul, this lifetime's personality, went mute in the face of the vast Unknown, my higher soul catapulted into It with one last sigh of joy and gratitude: What a glorious Creation!
I was fully awake when I entered the Sphere of Universal Communion.
How do I know that is it's true name? I don't. I'm not even sure it's possible for it to have a single true name. But the Sphere of Universal Communion is what I saw and what I felt and it's the only true name I can imagine, the only one I can use to describe it at all.
It appeared to me as a sphere of light, but light that is aware. Light that is awareness. Not something so much seen -- since we have no physical eyes without a body -- as sensed. Something like the warmth of sunlight even when your eyes are squeezed shut. But with the additional sense of someone present, close by, their attention resting on the edges of your awareness gently. An aware light that is both the substance and the medium of communion within its own spherical spaciousness. An aware light that creates and sustains the possibility of shared awareness on a universal basis.
I was fully awake when I realized I was myself a sphere of communion. A sphere of aware light. Surrounded by an infinite number of other spheres of aware light.
As I experienced it, then, the Sphere of Universal Communion is an infinite space of aware light that is occupied by all the individual spheres of aware light that ever have or ever will exist. As if it were One Mind, occupied by all the individual Ideas it ever has or ever will conceive. Or a timeless, limitless, Oversoul, occupied by all the individual souls that ever have or ever will enter the realm of time, space, and personality. As I said, I do not pretend to know what it's true name is, but the relation between the Whole and its parts -- and between parts and parts -- this I can still see with diamond clarity.
What can I still see of that bodiless state?
Each of us, as an individual sphere of communion seems the embodiment of two complementary halves: Understanding and Memory. While Understanding seems the principal characteristic of the higher soul, Memory seems to be the principal characteristic of the lower soul. As I experienced it, Understanding is our individual portion of the limitless Knowledge of the One Soul, the evolving insight we possess into the Way of the One, our individual spark of immortality. Memory, on the other hand, is the accumulated impressions of all the lifetimes we recall, the sum of all the personalities we have yoked to our soul, our enduring storehouse of mortal treasures.
I was fully awake when I realized that whenever another sphere of aware light came into contact with me, there was an immediate and spontaneous exchange between us of our respective Memory and Understanding. This is why I say we are individual spheres of communion within the Universal Sphere of Communion. Because when we come into contact there, all that we know and all that we are passes uninhibited between us in a natural and open communion of shared being. Spheres of aware light touch and so exchange the totality of their experience and assimilate one another's experience into their own.
I was fully awake when all the individual spheres of communion came into contact with one another at the same time, breaking through every dam of individuality and flooding us all in the totality of our shared being. This is why I suspect its name is the Sphere of Universal Communion--because when all the individual spheres of aware light periodically come into contact at the same time, every individual awareness that ever has or ever will exist is spontaneously and immediately At-One with the One. I cannot say what it is that periodically draws all of us together at the same time but, cause aside, its effect is the complete and overwhelming experience of every drop of awareness in the ocean suddenly merging into the single sea of awareness.
My body was dead for two minutes but for me, the time passed as if it were many years.
Other individual spheres of aware light, many of great depth of Understanding with the Memory of thousands of lifetimes, generously taught me lessons to bring back and make use of in this lifetime. Such, it seems, is the loving-kindness of our collective ancestors, who care so deeply that this era of transformation is one of metamorphosis and not one of atrophy.
There is one last thing I have come to believe since returning to this realm of the body and its five senses--
Although it is much more difficult to perceive here than in the Sphere of Universal Communion, we are no less individual spheres of communion here than we are there. Once I had experienced what it feels like to recognize myself as a sphere of aware light in the bodiless state, I found I had become sensitive enough to perceive myself as that same sphere of communion here with a body. And sensitive enough to recognize that everyone else is a similar sphere of aware light, as well.
Moreover, although it is more difficult to perceive the spontaneous and immediate exchange of Understanding and Memory that occurs when we individual spheres of communion come into contact here, I believe it occurs nonetheless, even if not in our conscious awareness.
So what I have come to believe moving from life to death and back again is this: just as learning to live is actually preparing to die, it seems clear that preparing to die is actually learning to live.
It's been nearly eight years since I died and I have been reticent to speak about it too soon, for fear of coloring my account with the profound emotions of the experience. As with so many others who have undergone such an experience, the depth of those emotions has moved me to dedicate the remainder of this lifetime to giving expression to the lessons I learned while outside this lifetime.
There you have it, that's the best account I can give. It's all still as fresh today as it was when it happened. By now it doesn't seem strange at all to say things like, Dying is one of the most meaningful events in life. Clearly, the near-death experience has changed me, filled me with a deeper appreciation of the sacredness of everything. And I apologize ahead of time for the clumsiness of my report: Words that were invented to describe this world fail to paint a picture of that other realm.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts about this matter that is part of our common humanity.
~
I am deeply gratified that The Toltec I Ching has been selected a Silver Winner of the 2010 Nautilus Book Awards. My deepest gratitude extends to my co-author, Martha Ramirez-Oropeza and our enlightened publishers, Larson Publications.
The Toltec I Ching, by Martha Ramirez-Oropeza and William Douglas Horden has just been released by Larson Publications. It recasts the I Ching in the symbology of the Native Americans of ancient Mexico and includes original illustrations interpreting each of the hexagrams. Its subtitle, 64 Keys to Inspired Action in the New World, hints at its focus on the ethics of the emerging world culture.
Click here to go to the main site to see sample chapters, reviews and the link to Larson Publications for ordering the book.
~
Hanna Ingber Win: My Near-Death Experience on Twitter
Near death experience - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Near-Death Experiences Explained?
HowStuffWorks "How Near-death Experiences Work"
Channeling Erik: The Insider's Guide to Death and the Afterlife
My father passed away when I was a teenager. With that, my mom and siblings had to carry on in 1978. I recall screaming out to God; calling Him and the entire concept of God phony (and that's being polite). And then, at some point in my tirade, He let me know He was very real.
It was not anything that I saw or heard. Rather, it was a feeling of complete exhilaration. It's difficult to describe...even now.
Perhaps you don't have to pass on to feel the love that I felt that night. It seemed like a remarkable revelation that there is someone greater than all of this. "God" even took care of my family.
The more I learn from those that have been out of their physical form, the more I realize there is so much I DO NOT KNOW! What I can do, however, is "instinctively" gravitate toward statements that have a great deal of truth to them. I may have "sharpened" this ability because of what occurred that night over 30 years ago.
So, when you wrote that "just as learning to live is actually preparing to die, it seems clear that preparing to die is actually learning to live," I knew you were speaking words of wisdom.
In fact, I may be doing that now. You see, the less fear I have of death, the more I'm willing to fully live my life!
Thank you for commenting with such positive energy. Your experienceÂs seem rooted in realizatioÂns that affect the heart-mind in the most profound ways. i agree completely that we need to respond to words and ideas that we resonate with instinctivÂely--this seems the best way to find our way through the maze and back to our common origin.
Wishing you all the very best,
William
I am a big fan of yours and you never cease to amaze me with your depth, insight and pure beauty.
Thank you for sharing such a personal, vivid and profound experience with us - Wow!
-Lucy
A thousand thank-yous for your kind words and thoughts: they radiate light and grace and graciousness. It means a great deal to me that you found it meaningful.
All The Very Best,
William
Thank you for adding peace and beauty to my/our awareness of the faces of God and joy to our lives.
Well done, Brother, live lively.
Blaze
Thank you for being on the same wavelength!
And for the shot in the arm of vitamin-lively!!
Be not-being, think not-thinking....
Take Care,
Good traveling companions are hard to find—
William
A profoundly peaceful yet exciting message - i feel that marvellous resonance of shared truth. Along with those who've kindly commented, i have to thank you for waiting for the exact right moment to write of your experience. And congratulations on the honour of receiving an award for your book.
- judih
the compass points change places,
the north star wanders south—
still, the winter moon takes on a new body every night
wishing you all the best,
william
sometimes it takes a situation of this magnitude to wake up - to see clearly what samsara really is
you are a joy - you bring Light
so happy you are still here.
Big Love-
Ed
Thank you for the kind words and well wishes!
And for all the wonderful work you both do to bring the Dharma into people's hearts.....
What a joy to walk alongside you!
William
endless life
limitless light
one love
It is such a joy to feel your presence nearby.
The edges of our spheres brush occasionally,
All is communion.......
Limitless Light: Yes:
May we each grow in our awareness
Of our own radiance
Evey moment
Grateful for your gentle earthquake haiku soul,
William
Thank you for this piece (also peace). It is the clearest and most convincing description of the near-death experience I have read. While it conforms to many others in its details, you have articulated a wisdom present in the sphere of light that gives it a depth and meaning missing in other descriptions.
Thank you for your reading: your sensitivity to and appreciation of spirit charge your words with import. I am grateful we share the same view.....
Highest Regards,
William
Luna
I agree completely: a glimpse of what comes after must certainly be a glimpse of what comes before. In this way, we come to glimpse the continuity of awareness that runs through lifetimes like a string through a necklace of pearls.
Thank you so much for sharing your insight.
Be Well and Ecstatic,
William
Welcome back Mr. William, I too had a similar experience. That was more than thirty years ago long before I became religious. At that time I was doing my post graduate training at a town 60miles away. I traveled by bus everyday and need to take another connecting bus to reach my destination and because of the distance I would come home late. It was the first time I am travelling so far away. Every evening when I reach the town's bus station to take the connecting bus home I could see homeless people sleeping by the pavement. There were beggars too. Every night I reached home I feel saddened by such sights. It grew on me then one evening I saw an old homeless lady and I grew so sad I vowed to take care of my mother and never to let her fall into such a state. That night the accumulated sadness overcame me and I cried. I was so sad that I could feel like warm tears flowing inside my heart. I kept on asking why are people suffering like that? Why? I was willing to die to find out the answer. Then that night something extraordinary happened.
As I laid down to sleep I was very much aware of my breath.
Every in and out breath became very distinct. I felt the breath became slow, there was a moment of break between each breath until it became so slowed down that I could stop breathing and because I was willing to die I actually stopped breathing.
That very moment the breath stopped so did my heartbeat and there was a moment of total darkness as if someone switched off the lights. Then there was a light and I felt very light as if I had been carrying a bag of cement all the while and just discarded it. I entered the light and it was a beautiful sight. They were other beings there as well but were also formless. We communicate by just knowing and in unison. (telepathy?).
After a while there was a very bright orb/light which came. I simply said I am not ready yet and the orb replied, yes you are not ready yet. From there I returned to the darkness, to the body and took my first breath and felt my heartbeat. When I opened my eyes I felt very calm and without any fear at all. This conditioned lasted for two weeks. I could simply walk in the middle of the road without fear at all. Until now there is no fear of death at all.
Thank you for your welcoming heart!
How remarkable, how similar the most important aspects of our experiences are! In particular the "communication just by knowing in unison".....I believe this element of Communion is the most profound lesson I was privileged to be taught.
I am so happy for you that you had such a profound experience when young and that it has opened so many doors of compassion and wisdom onto your life!~
I look forward to renewing our conversations here~
All My Best,
William
After the initial 2 weeks I completely forgot about it though the calmness and non fear of death remains. I slowly inclined towards Buddhism and it was from here that I became clear about that experience. I learn that the feelings I have for those who are suffering is call compassion. There are also 32 heavens and among them are the formless realm. I also develop realization of the Dharma because of my willingness to sacrfice the self through my compassion. In realization of the Dharma you see the Buddha's Teachings from all angles like in 3D. That's why my postings in HuffPo is to share the Dharma to help turn the Dharma Chakra. Some of the views you will find, are not found in the Sutras yet confirms to the Buddha Dharma.
Thank you for writing about your death experience. To share such a personal story with such grace, for the benefit of all, is deeply inspiring. There is such wisdom in "preparing to die is actually learning to live"! Precious to have your guidance on the journey of living.
Thank you for your loving thoughts and intentions. It is a such a joy to share this wondrous journey with you. All else is the tree to which the vines of words and no-words cling.
All The Best,
Wm
Thank you for sharing your extraordinary experience. I can only imagine how difficult it was to put it into words that would reflect your reality accurately and still be understandable to your readers. You did an absolutely brilliant job of that. The concept of having a higher and lower soul is not one I have ever encountered and explains much that has been puzzling to me. The name you have given this realm you were so fortunate to visit, Sphere of Universal Communion, feels just right too, as does "aware light."
Your courageous and honest account is a valuable contribution to the literature on this topic and a gift to those of us who seek spiritual understanding. It is thrilling and immensely reassuring to hear that this lifelong compulsion of mine has not been undertaken in vain!
Again, thank you, brother.
Jeanie
I so appreciate your words. Yes, I suppose it has taken me nearly eight years to be able to find the right words for all the complex images and experiences. And nearly eight years, too, to feel comfortable with putting those words out in front of others....it seems like a grave responsibility to report back as accurately as possible.
Thank you for your open-hearted support and daring to constantly explore new frontiers of the inner landscape! I hope everyone finds their way to your own Matrignosis blog, where you leap into the deeper alchemical symbolisms of dreams.....
All My Best, My Spiritual Sister!
Wm
Thank you so for the kind thoughts and wishes. I am extremely pleased that my experience resonates with your own deeper intuitions. When the two souls genuinely adore one another, the path is so clear....
Highest Regards,
William