War is remote from the daily concerns of most Americans. It is not, of course, remote from our troops and veterans. As I write this, our troops are engaged in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya, as well as several other places not normally featured in daily headlines. In prosecuting these wars, many if not most of our troops have endured multiple deployments under considerable stress, the stress that comes from confronting danger and enduring discomfort in places and cultures utterly foreign to them.
Operating under severe stress that's exacerbated by cultural dislocation, our troops have made courageous decisions, flawed decisions, and deadly decisions. An aberrant few have become murderers. Such is the great tragedy of all wars: they turn young men into killers.
Even in democracies, even in freedom-loving countries, war twists the best of intentions and pollutes the most honorable of minds. It's a tribute to our military that the vast majority of our troops have tried their hardest to uphold standards of decency that are consistent with American values. For their effort and their sacrifices, they deserve our gratitude.
Granted, our gratitude may not imply support of their wars. Indeed, I'd argue we should always abhor war. As Civil War General William T. Sherman declared, "War is cruelty and you cannot refine it." Consider that since 9-11, the U.S. military has suffered 6000 killed-in-action and another 42,000 wounded-in-action: reason enough to hate war and to seek its end.
Ending war and bringing the troops home is thus the most immediate and best way we can "support our troops." And as they return, let's resolve to aid our troops, especially those who've been wounded by the cruelty of war, whether those cruelties were inflicted on them, or by them, or both. And here let's recall that the cruelest wounds may not always be the most visible.
In helping returning troops and veterans, let's begin by listening to them: to their stories, no matter how grim or gory or heartbreaking they may be. The healing process begins with a chance to decompress, a chance to have one's story heard. We should never be too busy or too appalled to listen; like it or not, they were sent to wage war in our nation's name. The least we can do in return is listen -- and learn.
As we listen, let's recognize how tough it can be for combat troops to adjust to civilian life after being "downrange" and in-country and under fire. Yes, veterans are used to tough discipline and tougher times; they won't cry or complain much. Leaving the military may come as a relief to some, but to others it'll come as a profound shock. A sense of purposelessness may follow, as well as a sense of estrangement from the one organization that valued them. Indeed, what I miss most from my military years is the camaraderie of the unit -- a shared sense of belonging.
So: Have sympathy for them as they adjust to new settings, new family situations, and new challenges. Recognize as well that the skills they mastered and took pride in within the military may be of limited (or no) utility in civilian sectors. For a veteran who took pride in his craft to be told his skills lack marketability may be the cruelest wound of all.
Such veterans are not looking for a handout, but a hand up. Let's give them that. Let's help them with retraining opportunities, let's empower them through grants and opportunities in higher education, let's work to find them jobs that give them a sense of purpose and a measure of pride.
And, as much as it may make us feel good, let's not glorify our troops and veterans as so many marble heroes, not out of churlishness or ingratitude, but because our veterans themselves know they're not heroes. (Even those few who truly are heroes will most likely reject the label.) Heroes, for most veterans, are those servicemen and women who didn't come home alive. Elevating our veterans as "heroes," moreover, puts considerable pressure on them to live up to that lofty honorific. A veteran may be less likely to admit she's suffering from PTSD if everyone around her is clapping her on the back and calling her a "hero."
Equally tempting in some quarters is to view our troops as so many victims who were coerced into serving, and who in emerging from war are indelibly marked as damaged goods. Such a view borders on disrespect when we consider that our troops, in volunteering to defend our Constitution, assumed an obligation that was maturely made and which they endeavored to squarely meet. Their service may be charged within domestic political disputes, but their conduct is the true measure of their worth.
So here's my parting shot: Instead of waving the flag and calling our troops and veterans "heroes," how about we vow to be heroes to them? Instead of tarring the sacrifices of the honorable many with the atrocities of the dishonorable few, how about we vow to change our country so that our troops are committed to war only when our ideals are truly in peril?
This story is part of Military Families Week, an effort by HuffPost and AOL to put a spotlight on issues affecting America's families who serve. Find more at jobs.aol.com/militaryfamilies and aol.com.
When I got my DD-214, I dealt with the medical aftermath and promptly continued serving others in society. It wasn't even a question of whether or not I should, I just did it.
The things we do for others are not, 'heroic,' they are human; they are done out of respect for our fellow persons. We do want to re-establish our lives, I agree. Patience with others is something we demonstrate so we may receive it ourselves. All we can do is our best.
In a way, hardship is built into us. We do get by. When I found myself unable to continue serving others in one way, I found another. Thank You for your statement, Vet.
When we fail to recognize the 'spirit' behind this madness and the [lies] they tell to get us into these wars, then we fail to see who the ruler of this world is and we will be complicit in the destruction of mankind.
Good luck with that! Obama has already pushed us into a 3rd war despite the wishes of the majority. If we truly restricted going to war only when "our ideals are truly in peril"...we wouldn't be in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan or Libya or any other country that refuses to embrace democracy or human rights. We can't change the world but our government insists on interfering in every third world country, which usually ends up subsidizing their despot leaders with taxpayers' money. Clearly, we should bring our troops home from these hellholes, and vow never again declare war except in defense of our own country. The billions of dollars we're currently wasting on these useless wars would serve well to "balance the budget" and there would be no need to cut essential services. What the hell happened to Washington's brains?
At present there are over two million working or rertired veterans that are being denied VA health care and cannot afford private health insurance.
We alot about the less than 200,000 homeless vets, no one that has ever served our country should be homeless yet we hear nothing about two million and if Obama caves ti Ryan's it will be 3,3
As for hiring them? We only hire Indians on H1B work visas where I work. Again, more insane federal policy that right wingers support. So I can't hire Americans because management only lets us review resumes screened by InfoSys (a company in India).
The government found out the hard way in 1978 when the Vietnam vets flipped out. Those Iraqi and Afghan Vets....... they're much meaner and leaner that we were. They won't settle for a pat on the back and thank you for your service.... you better give them some real payback or they will be in your face.
It's all depends on the individual and how they want to cope and what they want to accomplish. I eat a good diet with Vitamin supplements.
But I agree, the VA is all about giving out the brain candy, as much as you want, as often as you like. It helps them if you're content, pain free, and willing to cooperate with the doctors. Before 1978, Vets were literally chasing doctors and nurses down the hall with baseball bats. My (former) Psyc. has been hit three times in the head with objects ranging from chairs to books.
The meds help keep down the chaos.
Yes.... combat will mess with your mind...... forever, but you can cope If your willing to and the meds help.
War is not about dying it is about winning.
Tick-food has got it right as well...modern warfare, and historical warfare in it's time, is about profit. Death and destruction are the oil that lubricates the war machine. It's the machine that is the engine of profit. D&D is just fuel for it's boiler. Modern war is as sick and twisted as it gets, with all the PR about perfect weapons that never make mistakes. Well, of course they don't make mistakes, they're machines...very VERY VERY EXPENSIVE machines. Modern warfare has legitimized collateral death as an inevitable part of having such advanced weapons that never make mistakes. Right...it's the PEOPLE who make the mistakes and then hide behind the technology that made those mistakes possible.
Thanks for your service. Even if it was Air Force. You write a pretty good article. I would like to stress to the liberal readers that every beneficiary of the US govt taxpayer should be looking for a hand up, and not a hand out. That is the problem with the system.
Thank you.
Go to Washington, DC and look through the tomes at the end of the Viet Nam Memorial wall. Of the 50,000+ names in those books it doesn't list the political affiliation of any of them.
"Even if it was Air Force"??? What are you talking about? Apparently your knowledge of history is zip. The U.S. Air Force deaths totaled 1,745, more than the U.S. Navy in Viet Nam. The Army took the most casualties at over 30,000 and the U.S. Marines 13,000.
I served 4 years of honorable service wearing the uniform of our country but that doesn't make me a better American or more patriotic than those who didn't.
If you served, I salute you. If you didn't serve I salute you.
But, if you think you're more patriotic than those who don't share your political ideology, maybe you better move to another country.
The "Even if you were Air Force" was a quip. Every been outnumbered in Iraq with a 10-1 ration of Army to Navy when the Army/Navy game was on? Ever heard of the "Chair Force"?
I didn't identify with any political ideology. I agreed with the Lt Col and expressed that everyone accepting Federal Bennies should be looking for a hand up, rather than a hand out.
I actually grew up reading about the military. The Civil War and WW2 were my favorites. My father served in Vietnam and my Grandfather was a CPO during WW2. His favorite memory was me dressing up in my Chief's uniform and visiting him.
I've been to the Vietnam wall, I've served Next of kin notices to families, I've served at funerals. None of it fun. I'm fine with reality, my comments were for the Lt. Col that wrote it. YOU interpret however you want. Cheers!!