A Misanthrope's Reaction to Susan Boyle

The YouTube clip of Susan Boyle, the overnight singing sensation from the U.K., hit my office last week and everyone gathered around the only computer with speakers to watch what is by now the world's most popular ugly duckling story.

But not me. I continued reading the Huffington Post at my desk and muttered, "she's no Billie Holiday." Don't get me wrong, I know she's got a great voice--it just doesn't have a lot of soul.

"And why do they always sing Andrew Lloyd Webber?" I asked. "What's that song she's singing?"

"Andrew Lloyd Webber." I'm with Nora Ephron on this one, but it's not her choice of songs that makes me Mr. Rain On The Parade.

Maybe one of the millions upon millions of people who take shows like American Idol and Britain's Got Talent seriously can shed some light on this for me, but the programs just don't look all that spontaneous to me.

First of all, are there no auditions? Now, correct me if I'm wrong, (and I know you will), but wouldn't there be a step between showing up at the cattle call and being one of a handful of finalists on TV? Or did Susan Boyle first sing to a computer in a soundproof room?

Was there no buzz in the TV production office about this unlikely singing sensation? No excited meetings, no recognition of the ratings a carefully constructed melodrama could bring?

Hmmm....let me think about how network television operates. Unsupervised chaos is the preferred format; basically, executives would like to give all prime-time programming to the Marx Brothers.

They don't? But how do you explain all the "reality TV" shows--I mean, how can you script real life?

It's not like you go into a political debate with a list of pre-tested slogans and rehearsed answers...or go to a professional wrestling match if you think it's faked...I mean, you don't buy a Britney Spears record if her voice has been thoroughly digitized and improved in the studio...oh never mind.

This is where people call "producers" step in. In the case of Susan Boyle, it's likely that after she passed the first round of elimination with a show-stopping performance, the producers went into overdrive getting ready for her big prime-time debut.

I suppose it's theoretically possible that the show's "judges," (who display a depth of wit and expertise not seen on TV since "The Hollywood Squares") are kept in isolation while the rest of the floor savors their upcoming hit, but I know a few things about entertainment stars. They're so intellectually curious, they like to always be in the know. Wait, that's not right either.

But it is true that they don't like not being in the know. They have to be in on the joke, the gossip, the buzz. I'll concede that they may not have heard an actual tape before the taping--but were the judges not aware that this show was going to be something special?

Watch the clip again--and look for signs of false spontaneity. Tell me if I'm wrong. Or please, embarrass me in front of all these people and tell me the inside scoop on how these shows protect anyone connected with them from knowing what's going on on a day to day basis.

Well, I guess that part is possible. I mean, there were a lot of people in the Bush administration who needed jobs...

Comments

[MrsVantini]

Slugger B is correct, what we've all seen on YouTube is the actual audition to get her into the competition and because the clip is of Susan only, we're not getting to see all of the ones who got up on the stage, only to be sent home pronto.

I'll bet dollar to pound that if we were to watch the show in it's entireity, we'd see some 'only shower' singers.

I do honestly think that the Piers, Amanda and Simon were just as surprised as the rest of us ~ Simon is not that good of an actor.

[MDCambridge]

I am an American living in England for the last couple of years.

There seems to be a strong misconception about how things are done on British television. The laws here are very different. A Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly would not be able to operate in Britain. You can't make things up just because someone is a public figure and you cannot have a format that fools the public unless that format is understood from the start.

Lookup "Ofcom" and penalties: Regulation 2.2: "Factual programmes or items or portrayals of factual matters must not materially mislead the audience." (This is just one of the regulations.)

I have seen people removed from the air and/or charged stiff penalties for even minor infractions. This does not mean that nobody knows anything in such a format, but if there was overt manipulation under the given pretext of the program, Simon Cowell would find himself working exclusively in the US.

[raker]

I agree that the theatrics of looking surprised at Susan Boyle's singing ability was utterly fake, manipulative drivel. Of course they knew she'd sing well. They probably even frumped her up a little for heightened effect.

I disagree that she's a let down because her singing lacks soul. Her singing doesn't have to be transcendent to be impressive. She is, after all, a civilian, and she does have a lovely voice. Being wonderful is good enough. I say phooey on Simon Cowell and company, but brava for Ms. Boyle.

[WorkingClass]

Don't get me wrong, I know she's got a great voice--it just doesn't have a lot of soul.

Your quite wrong. It is precisely that sweet soulful sound issuing from an "ordinary" person in such an unlikely venue that adds up to the Susan phenomenon. All of us ordinary people are vindicated, validated, even redeemed by Susan Boyle's performance.

[rachaelworld]

I agree, listen to her recording of "cry me a river", she's got soul.

[Maxiesid]

Oh, thank goodness!! Finally, a blog entry where all you people that can't stand the thought of other people just being happy for the absolute sheer delight of it can get together a grouse about how everyone was 'had' or 'taken in' or 'manipulated' and how it wasn't that good or her voice was dubbed (come on, really? did you even hear it? if you lip synced or dubbed in the performance afterwards, wouldn't you at least use a better recording? ) Do you really believe that people don't basically know that this was sheer theatre? Heck it is a scene straight out of the Phantom of the Opera (the movie) using even the same camera angles and judges expressions. The only thing that was missing was her morphing into a having on a beautiful white gown and having sparkles in her hair! I have said it before but it bears repeating---
The point you are missing is that it is an enjoyable moment.. no cynicism needed, no critical evaluation of the settings or music.. people are just enjoying it.... and lot of people being happy for someone else's good fortune, really, nothing in it at all for themselves, how can that be a bad thing? I think it doesn't hurt our society one bit, and is a breath of fresh air coming after the years of listening to story after story of corruption and greed and malice making people famous or wealthy.

[jozinha]

You argue a point and then you argue against it.

Let me begin by saying that I will most certainly buy Susan's CD when it comes out.

Now. We DO live in a time of corruption and fraud. But mass media is one of the reasons. It manipulates the truth ALL the time. (We know this at least subconsciously and are bitter.) But more than anything else, it manufactures unnatural paragons that make all the rest of us feel (as one blogger has said in describing the Boyle phenom) anonymous.

Susan Boyle made it past the homogenized threshold of "good looks." That alone is a huge shock to us, the homogenized audience. It's so shocking that we don't notice all the other gear and wheels spinning to make this piece of showbiz possible.

It is ESSENTIAL for us TO LOOK CONSTANTLY behind that curtain. It is crucial for post-modern audiences/consumers to be as sophisticated and alert as possible. Then we'll get BETTER products, BETTER entertainment, and MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, a better, accepting sense of our individual selves.

It is useless to argue that Ms. Boyle does that for us. She symbolizes WHAT WE SHOULD BE DOING FOR OURSELVES. We would then live in a world where talent is purely appreciated and a person's looks TRULY is not an issue.

[PatA]

Mercymercyme, did you really say this?
"I am queasy about what sounds like condescension and a very patronizing attitude towards this woman who obviously has physical and learning disabilities. Her face and gestures speak volumes."

What psychiatrist died and left you in charge? How could you possibly know that she has physical and learning disabilities? Remember Terry Schivao (spelling?)?

You wouldn't say this about a man nor would you say it about a good looking woman..

[mercymercyme]

Don't take my word for it, PatA...Susan Boyle herself in Disability News and in an interview in Deadline Scotland speaks movingly of her disabiities, how she suffered brain damage from oxygen disability at birth. Read it yourself.

Next time, put brain into gear before shooting off your mouth.

[jozinha]

ANDREW LLOYD WEBER DID NOT WRITE THAT SONG!!!!

Sheesh.

The entire score for "Les Miserables" was written by: Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer, Alain Boublil.

I totally agree with the blogger about the manipulation of that program. Susan Boyle recorded a very profession­al-soundin­g cut of "Cry Me a River" years before that supposed "audition. She auditioned plenty in order to get that far. Those actor/judges HAD to know what was coming. The audience did not, of course. Neither did we, the viewers, so we've been gamed.

I also think that she was either not actually singing live, but was lip-syncing, OR she sang live and they dubbed a much better mix over the taped performance.

Yes, Susan can sing and will have a great career, but we have also been taken for quite a ride.

[MDCambridge]

I must disagree. I am living in England at the moment and the Brits take a very dim view of things being manipulated over their "tele." The laws are different here: It would be a major scandal and Simon would be off the air over night if there was lip-syncing or dubbing. I have seen far lesser infractions cause a major row.

Unfortunately, there are no real consequences in the states for such things.

[jozinha]

Another contestant on your Brit talent show got rave reviews:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXzppwvnt4g&feature=related

I watched it twice and I couldn't tell if it was NOT a lip-sinc. There are MANY cameras on that show, able to shoot from many different angles, but when that kid was singing the only camera that was selected was the one that was straight in front, allowing the microphone to completely obscure his mouth.

That program is heavily edited post-show and then broadcast weeks later, so the decision to go with only that camera was a calculated post-show production decision.

I wonder why?...

[RobinLandseadel]

"...I mean, you don't buy a Britney Spears record if her voice has been thoroughly digitized and improved in the studio...oh never mind."

Popular music is popular because a lot of people like it, as Irving Berlin once said. And it's not Andrew Lloyd Webber, Les Miz was composed by Claude-Michel Schönberg froma book by Alain Boublil and English Lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer. On the other hand, it is an Andrew Lloyd Webber soundalike, so you're at least a little bit forgiven.

While we're at it, it's worth noting that there's a few records by Lady Day best forgotten altogether.

I'll bet you hate ABBA!

[mercymercyme]

I'm with you on this. Susan Boyle has a truly sweet voice, but the reason the entire world is making a fuss is because she does not fit the stereotype of Idol/Talent tv shows. Compared to the no-talent screamers on these shows, Susan Boyle can actually carry a tune. So she's a stand-out for those basic reasons.

But, the next Ella Fitzgeralds she ain't. These talent shows have so dumbed down expectations that Susan Boyle is put on a pedestal.

I am queasy about what sounds like condescension and a very patronizing attitude towards this woman who obviously has physical and learning disabilities. Her face and gestures speak volumes.

It's disturbing to see so many people gush over her as if she were some kind or oddity or sideshow freak.

[PunKinPai]

I agree about the patronizing attitude. It's been abominable. But it's still orders of magnitude above your idiotic, condescending pronouncement that she "obviously has physical and learning disabilities." She has no such thing. Do you always judge people's intelligence by how beautiful their faces are or how gracefully they move? Get over yourself.


By the way, she's being "gushed over" because she is an ordinary woman who has a wonderful voice, a lot of moxie, and a humble spirit--one that would never judge a book by its cover the way you do.

[blueflag]

I did not read about the "obvious physical disabilities." This response comes from sloppy reading, as far as I can tell. In any case, she doesn't have "obvious" physical disabilities, based on her face and eyes. And certainly, I don't know of one person who likes her because of any such perceived disabilities.

The only thing that can get published at this point, it seems, is something contrarian about Susan Boyle. This article is a gimmick.

[inorbit]

Of course it was all scripted - that's not the point.

The point is that she has a great voice and she is just being discovered at the age of 47.

She's singing Andrew Lloyd Weber because she knows he's a popular composer and also because the lyrics are tailor made for a middle aged spinster whose devoted her life to taking care of her parents instead of developing her singing career.

She's pretty cunning.

Have you heard her sing "Cry Me a River?"

Look for that one on YouTube. You may prefer that song.

[ESerafina42]

It's NOT Andrew Lloyd Webber. It's Les Miz.

The entire score for "Les Miserables" was written by: Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer, Alain Boublil. (Thank you, Jozinha.)

[TheBaffler]

I agree. She has a decent voice, but it's wasted on crap music. I'll take the mournful, soulful Billie Holiday anytime.

[Nommo]

Andrew Lloyd Webber? Again? Phantom anyone?

[PunKinPai]

Please read the other comments. Les Miserable was written by French composer Claude-Michel Schönberg with a libretto by Alain Boublil. Getting this point wrong rather negates your opinion.

[ADVOCATE4ZPG]

Had SB been Dolly Dershowitz or DiMinda Minority, Klein would have been all over himself with praise for the contestant's earthy reality, universal yearning, etc. He is, in fact, dismayed that she does not conform to his PROFILE for the BASIS of musical artistry......or just competence....!!!

[zanzig]

I totally agree with you about the "reactions" of the judges, and the whole fake nature of the "audition", but I didn't like her performance for all the subtleties of how she got on up on everyone who sneered at her. I think there has been way too much analysis of why we enjoyed her performance. For myself, my enjoyment came purely from the fact that I liked her singing voice and the feeling she put into the song she chose. She was no Nina Simone or Ruth Brown (my person faves) or even Dusty Springfield, but there was an innocence about her performance that was attractive.

[SluggerB]

That actually was the audition. The competition hasn't started yet.