I'm sharing with readers of the Huffington Post some exciting news.
I've agreed to serve as campaign manager for the first "corporate person" to exercise its constitutional right to run for office.
Following the recent Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission to allow unlimited corporate funding of federal campaigns, Murray Hill Incorporated, a diversifying corporation in the Washington, D.C. area, has filed to run for U.S. Congress in the Republican primary in Maryland's 8th Congressional District. You can see our first campaign video on YouTube and follow us on Facebook.
Until now,corporate interests had to rely on campaign contributions and influence peddling to achieve their goals in Washington. But thanks to an enlightened Supreme Court, now multinational corporations can eliminate the middle-man and run for office themselves.
Finally, the vision of the novelist Ralph Nader has come to pass--We are a government of the Exxons, by the General Motors, and for the Duponts.
Murray Hill Inc. is believed to be the first "corporate person" to exercise its constitutional right to run for office. As Supreme Court observer Lyle Denniston wrote in his SCOTUSblog, "If anything, the decision in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission conferred new dignity on corporate "persons," treating them -- under the First Amendment free-speech clause -- as the equal of human beings."
Murray Hill Inc. agrees. "The strength of America," Murray Hill Inc. says, "is in the boardrooms, country clubs and Lear jets of America's great corporations. We're saying to Wal-Mart, AIG and Pfizer, if not you, who? If not now, when?"
Murray Hill Inc. plans on spending top dollar to protect its investment. "It's our democracy," Murray Hill Inc. says, "We bought it, we paid for it, and we're going to keep it."
The campaign's designated human, Eric Hensal, will help the corporation conform to antiquated "human only" procedures and sign the necessary voter registration and candidacy paperwork. Hensal is excited by this new opportunity. "We want to get in on the ground floor of the democracy market before the whole store is bought by China," he says.
I plan on running an aggressive, historic campaign that "puts people second" or even third, employing social media, automated robo-calls, "Astroturf" lobbying and computer-generated avatars to get out the vote.
Stay tuned for updates from the campaign trail, and support the rights of corporate persons everywhere!
Follow William Klein on Twitter: www.twitter.com/William_Klein