"No offense, but..." has been a not-so-sly method of insulting people since (probably) the beginning of time.
And, sure, what follows "no offense, but.." is always offensive, but shouldn't we also be offended by the phrase itself?
Either way. the phrase often ends up backfiring spectacularly.
Here are some examples of how using the "no offense" tactic have backfired in the past:
"NO OFFENSE" EXAMPLE 1: During the 2009 Miss America pageant, when Perez Hilton asked Miss California her thoughts on gay marriage, she said, "In my country, and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but..."
RESULT: She lost the pageant and Perez Hilton called her a "dumb bitch" (and he didn't say "no offense," either).
"No OFFENSE" EXAMPLE 2: UCLA student Alexandra Wallace made a fool of herself via YouTube during her racist rant about Asian students.
She began with "So you know I'm not the most politically correct person, so don't take this offensively..." and then proceeded to make a series of racist statements.
RESULT: After this video, Wallace issued a public apology in The Daily Bruin and announced that she would be leaving UCLA.
So, let's put an end to the phrase, shall we? Things do not go well for those who attempt to use the "no offense" copout. They end up losing beauty pageants and dropping out of college.
Instead, come up with something more clever. If you want to insult me, use your acerbic wit to do so in a manner that isn't unsubtly moronic. Why not try a backhanded compliment?
Using "No offense, but..." has now come to the point of parody. The following video displays what a farce the phrase has become by taking it to the very extreme. And, no offense, but if you don't find this video funny, then you're totally humorless.
Follow Zoë Triska on Twitter: www.twitter.com/zoetricksta