THE BLOG
06/30/2014 10:52 am ET | Updated Aug 29, 2014

The Sidepiece Agreement: 10 Rules for The Other Woman

A close male friend (who used to cheat on his wife) has enlightened me that some of us otherwise intelligent chicks enter into the Sidepiece Agreement -- that is, knowingly becoming the mistress or other woman -- without fully understanding the terms of the deal.

My friend should know; he had a lover that stalked his wife and told her everything after they broke up. His wife gave him another chance and my friend seems to be on the good foot these days.

However, my friend explained the dirty details of what men expect of their sidepieces, even if they don't explain the rules as thoroughly as they should. Thus, without further ado, here are the top 10 rules that men expect their sidepieces to know.

1. You are the other woman. This does not mean that you are the only other woman. Act accordingly.

2. Please focus on the stolen moments that we spend together. Do not concern yourself with my whereabouts when we are apart. Frankly speaking, my life outside of our time together is not your concern.

3. Be comfortable with who you are to me; do not mention my wife and/or main woman, as she is not your concern. Do NOT compare yourself to my main chick in any way and do not attempt to contact her -- to do so would be a breach of our agreement.

4. Anticipate frequent changes in our plans; for the most part, a spur of the moment escape is the best that I can do.

5. You must understand that maintaining a positive vibe while we are in each other's company is vital to the success of our situationship. No bickering or nagging about promises that I didn't keep.

6. We are secret lovers; we can't blast our situationship to the world. Please don't tag me on Facebook, and don't send me invitations to your work/family functions or events. Major holidays -- more likely than not -- will be missed.

7. No discussions about "where this situationship is headed." We are where we will be; together, in this moment. Enjoy it.

8. Yes, I am still sleeping with my significant other, and we do not use condoms. Again, focus on our time together, and not what I do while we are apart.

9. I am not interested in bringing a child into our situationship. By the way, an unplanned pregnancy will not force a relationship commitment of any kind from me nor will it guarantee a promotion to main chick status for you.

10. There are no guarantees about the outcome of our situationship save one: I am a cheater at heart, and that won't change unless I want it to. Until that happens, if you are promoted to the main chick, please know that yet another sidepiece will fill the vacancy that you've left behind.

And one last piece of advice that my friend wants sidepieces to know: If you choose to enter into a situationship with someone do not get emotionally attached, as things won't be easy for you if and when you separate.