Sophia A. McClennen, 1/27/12

Professor, Penn State University; Author, 'America According to Colbert: Satire as Public'

In the absurdity that has become the Republican Primary we have increasingly had to look to comedians to make sense of the whole mess, by exposing hypocrisy and speaking truth to power.

David Misch, 1/27/12

Writer

Thank God a presidential candidate has finally had the courage to say what we were all thinking: "It's 2012 -- where's my moon colony?"

Amber Dusick, 1/27/12

Author and Illustrator: Parenting, Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

Are parents as a whole more protective these days? And where is the line drawn between good protection (seat belts and not letting your kids drink bleach) and being overprotective to where it is stifling for them. I think about this sometimes.

Ali MacLean, 1/27/12

Writer, actor, filmmaker, and radio personality

Ladies! The biggest day of the year is coming up. It's imperative that you line up something special NOW so you don't look lonely to your friends, family and co-workers.

Julie Gerstenblatt, 1/26/12

Columnist, The Scarsdale Inquirer

I plan on getting serious with the grammatically incorrect Bachelor and his 16 beautiful, grammatically incorrect sister-wives. Tonight, I am writing down all of their infractions and giving a metaphorical rose to the worst offender.

Jacqueline Leo, 1/26/12

Editor in Chief, The Fiscal Times

My house and my car are getting smarter. After replacing a furnace, a water heater, a dishwasher, a car, and a coffee maker, I would give my house a B- on an IQ test. The problem is, the smarter our houses become, the more incompetent we become -- with impunity.

Andy Stokan, 1/27/12

Actor, writer, cliché

Now that Newt Gingrich has shockingly won the South Carolina primary and could be headed for a win in Florida, it seems the time has come to ask: who is Newt Gingrich? And what is it about this man that GOP voters are suddenly responding to?

Sabrina Jalees, 1/26/12

Comedian, actor, and writer

As the Republicans debate what island to ship the gays to, my girlfriend and I are debating what tablecloths to use at our wedding. But I've got some good news: planning a gay wedding in these semi-controversial times has some huge advantages.

Meredith Fineman, 1/26/12

Blogger, TheFFJD.com

Everyone should try it. It definitely doesn't make you a loser. It's just efficient. Like a sushi conveyor belt, for your pants.

Paul Rasmussen, 1/26/12

Stay-at-Home Academic

All children have different learning styles. Some are "visual" learners, some are "auditory" learners. I found that Johnny, like most lazy children from bad homes, responds best to a spray bottle filled with bleach.

Jerry Zezima, 1/26/12

Humor columnist, The Stamford Advocate

As a man who has been perpetrating snow jobs for more than half a century, I can say with authority that there is a simple reason why the Northeast has not yet been hit with a blizzard this winter: I had my snow blower tuned up.

Tom Falco, 1/25/12

Cartoonist; Editor and publisher, CoconutGroveGrapevine.com

Vanessa Becknell, 1/25/12

TV and Film Department Editor, The Donnybrook Writing Academy

Cleveland's WOIO-TV's 19 Action News has a genius way of getting around being barred from filming a local corruption trial.

Rick Schwartz, 1/25/12

Movie producer, philately enthusiast, life coach

With all the upcoming fanfare over this week's Academy Awards nominations, it might be worth noting that most of these talented, wonderful people will have one thing in common in roughly four weeks. They'll all be losers.

Meghan O'Keefe, 1/25/12

Comedian and writer

Right now there are numerous intelligent women across the land who are presently in crisis mode. It's all due to an actor whom you may or may not be aware of named Benedict Cumberbatch.

Dan Treadway, 1/25/12

Assistant editor, Huffington Post Sports

The path to prosperity is clear: We need a Baller in Chief. For the past 12 years we've had presidents stuck in stable, loving, boring marriages, and what do we have to show for it?

Gavin Shulman, 1/26/12

Writer, Producer

If we really want to search out their true essence, there's always one place we can go to find out: Google. Let's start by searching "Mitt Romney is". This should be fun.