A Brief History of Thanksgiving
The Pilgrims came to this country so they could practice religious freedom, and also so they could wear big hats made out of black construction paper.
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Lesley Stern: How to Live On $0 a Day: Saving a Cherished American Holiday
Ask your neighbors over for a potluck Thanksgiving feast, just like the Pilgrims invited the Native Americans. Once you've enjoyed their delicious offerings, kill them and steal their possessions and property.
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Pardoned White House Turkey Slays Nine
In a potentially embarrassing situation for the Obama White House, a turkey pardoned by President Obama earlier this week went on a killing spree on Thanksgiving, killing nine.
12 Titles For Carrie Prejean's Sex Tapes (Doug's Dozen #19)
Holy autoeroticism! She made 7 of them? She must do it religiously!
2012 and All That
Sarah Palin, Going Rogue, 2012, and the end of the Mayan Calendar. It all has a fearful symmetry.
African Leaders Advise Bono On Reform Of U2
Saying that U2's rock had lost touch with its African roots, the Commission called for urgent measures to halt U2's slide towards impending crisis.
Neiman Marcus Goes Budget
The extravagant offerings in Neiman Marcus' 83rd annual catalog do not disappoint. Restrictions and exclusions apply to Goldman Sachs employees and anyone named Madoff.
Oprah! to Ascend!; Copyrights Exclamation Point!
Shocking even Herself, Oprah! Winfrey announced she will soon end her earthly talk-show reign in preparation for Her Ascension.
Sneak Preview: The Oprah Winfrey Network
Before Oprah Winfrey's last daily show airs in September 2011, she will premiere The Oprah Winfrey Network. Via spies at Harpo Productions, here is a preview of the bold and innovative programming that network with feature.
Naming America's First Marijuana Cafe
The place is called The Cannabis Café, which I find pretty disappointing. If there's anything we know about people who claim to use marijuana for medicinal use, it's that they have a sense of humor.
Why I Love Thanksgiving
Though this has been a tough year, try to remember this: when times are tough, somewhere in the world, some unsuspecting turkey is about to have a fistful of gravy shoved deep into his ass.
2024: Carrie Prejean for President
With her smokin' hot body and great family values, no one would make a better presidential candidate for the Republican party than Carrie Prejean.
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