I am a 10-month-old baby and I write because my mother has been sending out my "Christmas List" to people, and her list does not in any way represent the things I really want. I could give two s#*ts about receiving stacking cups.
I'm going negative. I didn't want to do it -- no one ever wants to do it -- but it has to be done. I owe it to myself, my supporters and to America. Plus going negative works. Republicans and Democrats spent $6 billion on the 2012 elections, and almost all of it was negative.
Buy a live octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out. Time allowed: 5 minutes.
Many returning shows outdid themselves this year.
Eschewing insurance in favor of joining "a nationwide network of Christians who save money by sharing each other's medical bills" may not bring on the wrath of the the IRS -- but there could be punishing bills from medical providers.
From a famously divided Congress that finally agreed on something (Sunny Obama is adorable!) to two international sporting events whose execution proved more entertaining than the actual sport, 2014 definitely did not disappoint us in terms of buzz-worthy events.
So yes, I am dying a slow and painful death, especially since according to the Farmer's Almanac this is going to be a "bitterly cold" winter. But when faced with adversity, are we to give up and freeze to death, or do we create a plan of action and obliterate the enemy?
It's 2013, yet there's still this idea that we're damaged goods if we're not settled down by 30. But freaking out over "finding a husband" seems a little too Jane Austen for me.
Fox published a story entitled "The Perfect Man Exists -- On Video," in which it suggests the DVDs -- or VHS tapes for just $9.98 -- might actually be the next "logical step for frustrated singles seeking love and coming up empty."
12:18 a.m.: Hey. What's up? I am! Hahaha -- good one, me! No, but seriously, husband, can we talk? Or watch some TV? No, no, do NOT try to feed me -- blech! -- I'm not hungry; I just miss you. Can we cuddle?
I found out that shopping for those big gatherings, office parties and odd ducks isn't actually that bad, and it can be fun!
So I'm not sure about you, but I don't think this idea of the universe as a hologram -- since I don't believe it -- is going to have much effect on my day-to-day life.
Let's face it-- we live in a technological world, and babies need to be prepared for this from Day One. What happens if your child starts preschool and he or she is behind because they have not yet developed crucial electronic life skills, like touching a screen at exactly the right angle?
The Center of Disease Control has been cautiously watching a threat from the viral spread of unmerited applause in American culture: most obvious on talk and game show television.