Global Odyssey Worldwide Travel Flight 416 from West Africa to New York was forced to divert to Italy when passenger William Lockhold objected to the Ebola virus in front of him reclining in its seat.

I've been back in Colorado for nearly two weeks now after my brief sojourn to Oahu, but I have to be honest: In my mind, I'm still in Hawaii.

"We wanted Daniel Craig to be the ultimate wedding crasher, with his sexy body and his speedo, and the two guys would be incredibly threatened by him. He was like the next generation terminator of wedding crashing."

This week, school officials in Alabama put a 5-year-old girl on a suicide and homicide watch after she pointed a crayon at a kindergarten classmate and said "pew! pew!" Yes, this is real.

He's supposed to be an old man speaking gibberish (Latin) that late night comedians can use to fill a couple minutes. If a Pope starts talking sense and being all... relevant... to modern times, he won't be funny anymore.

One day we'll all be dead. And in heaven, everyone has a shitload of money. But for now, it's important that rich people acknowledge their mental deficiency. It will make the rest of our lives much easier. Or maybe Donald Trump is just naturally dumb?

According to the official report, the crimes were pledging rituals of Sigma Alpha Equinox. The elite males accused of committing these hazing crimes have stated on the record, "Equinox made me do it."

You are a low-calorie pasta substitute. While most pastas are well over 100 calories a serving, you are less than 20 calories a serving. That is a huge calorie savings! I love pasta, so I wanted to give you a chance. We all deserve a chance.

Sure, it was so: he was indeed helping to keep knowledge alive in the dark times by memorizing and becoming a book. But after these ten odd years, a dark sadness had descended upon him, sapping his spirit and diminishing his soul.

The leaves are turning color, there's a crispness in the air and pumpkins are starting to appear on lawns. This can only mean one thing: It's time for my annual fall pledge drive.

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For tourists with children, I've compiled a handy pocket guide to the types you will encounter most frequently on the NYC playground. Now you will know whom to ask for a spare diaper or Kleenex. And whom you should avoid.

President Obama today thanked the American people for "standing up to oppression" by protesting the Columbus Day holiday. He vowed to take aggressive action to "right the wrongs of our current outmoded holiday calendar" as we "embark on a new era of fairness and equality."

For the last six weeks, my inbox has been jammed with "urgent" messages from various congressional candidates and progressive organizations. They use a number of tricks to get you to open the email.

What's better than festive gourd season? Festive gourds with a pumpkin spice latte and a cozy sweater, preferably in the company of a dog named Steve. Some of the names bandied around the Starbucks back room didn't make the cut however and ended up circling the drain.

I recently saw an ex after several months of sporadic communication. I was reluctant to do it, but I knew he'd offer to pay for a drink. So I thought: at least there's a drunken stupor in store for me where I'll probably relay to him how much better off I am! So fine, I'll go.

It's a beautiful Saturday filled with potential, but it's all ruined by having to spend it with your mother-in-law. Here are some fun activities that would have been enjoyable were it not for the brittle sack of negativity wrapped in Chico's and Pandora bracelets.