California officials announced that, due to the lack of water in the state, new measures must be taken to conserve. Although the sprinkler laws hit lawn people hard, this new one seems to be the most upsetting yet: no more running the faucet during a shit.
A profile is rapidly developing of the gunman who opened fire at Oregon's Umpqua Community College, which reveals pretty much the same information as every other useless mass shooter profile of the past ten years.
Many of us have grown up on video games and passed the gaming torch onto the next generation, creating a world of video games like never before. The problem is that the more guys and girls playing games, the more likely there will be garbage people that ruin it for everyone
At the age of puberty, the writer discovers the great poets, chief among them Bob Dylan, and she gets a taste of the rebellious, majestic, and meteoric power of words.
In a stunning stub, the MacArthur Foundation once again overlooked Steven Clifford in awarding their $675,000 "genius grants."
I'm lying in bed late one night and again see the ubiquitous Viagra commercial where a woman states she's rather have a man in bed than a book. Having several women friends who had confidentially said the opposite, I realized this might make a terrific video parody.
Sure, realizing Rugrats was filled with sex jokes might put a slight dent in your childhood memories, but let's have a look at some things that actually will ruin your childhood as it happens.
Pumpkin shit? Got it. Orange shit? Got it. Spooky shit? Got it. Crunchy leaves and shit? Crunch crunch son!
Unfortunately, as too many people in this fine nation seem content in basking in red, white and blue stupidity, "Ignorance Is Strength" because the inability of voters to recognize the contradictions of Republican presidential nominees cements the power of the totalitarian GOP.
Anyone can get lucky and win their fantasy football league, but it takes genius to destroy one. Here is a step by step, methodical plan to ruin fantasy football for your "friends."
We don't hear or say this often enough, but beauty is only skin-deep -- and this saying goes for everyone, whether you are a woman or a man. But honestly, when it comes to applying makeup to alter or enhance our appearance for fun, women very often know how to do it best.
Donald Trump hasn't won 2016 yet. But there's a chance he will, and that's reason enough to leave the planet earth.
I waited patiently on hold while my scheduled 9:30 a.m. radio interview became 9:35, then 9:40. Finally, Cincinnati radio host Kathryn Raaker's producer interrupted the silence.
Just say no. Can you drive Aunt Myrtle to the airport Wednesday afternoon? "No, I can't." Period. Once you start to explain why you can't, you're doomed because you have opened the door to negotiation. Let's practice.
A foolproof guide to being the coolest person in the room and getting everyone to instantly fall in love with you. It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. Stay focused, stay motivated, and stay in hotel rooms that are out of your price range. People will think you're awesome!
Seeing his face, I realized it's for video chatting. Totally flustered, I flailed around, calling out, "Do I put the phone to my ear, or am I supposed to look at it?" By the time I got organized, I was spared the indignity of seeing him laughing at me.
My name is Alex and I'm a fast walker. Your slow-walking, four-person family stretched across the sidewalk are in my way, and it's making me become an asshole because I can't force myself to stroll at a normal human being pace.