Funny Tweets

"love it when my dog does a big yawn at 5pm, I just know he put in a long day at the good boy factory"
"It’s 7:41am on a Saturday morning, and my kids have already said 'Mama' 'Mom' or 'Mommy' approximately 852 times today."
"If i was a girl cat and i saw a boy cat get the zoomies that would be such an ick"
"My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through."
The best thing about this season was definitely the fans' hilarious reactions.
"i wish there was another word for it but there isn’t. the cat is doing parkour"
"Toddlers be like, 'Excuse me madam that's my emotional support Walmart receipt.'"
"(Flirting) if i was murdered would u solve my case?"
"Engaging in marital warfare by loudly stirring my yogurt in a glass jar to retaliate against my husband for offensively slurping his cereal."
"My bf keeps saying i like being inside & doing nothing bc i was socialized by cats and omg he’s right."