Some parents have tried to raise their kids without gender stereotypes, only to get accused of being hippies at best and downright abusive at worst. Tell me what's abusive about not shoving your kid into a box that says, "This is how you're supposed to act given your genitalia."

Gender-nonconforming kids need to know there are others like them. In the media they should be portrayed just like everyone else. At home they need to be accepted and loved, not forced into roles they can't fit. In schools they need to be treated with respect and dignity.

These days, I'm mostly comfortable in my own skin. I enjoy being a man. But the embarrassed little boy who could never be himself will always be part of me. I try to carry him with tenderness, and tell him, always, that it's OK to be just who he is.

What gender-variant youth need are teachers who don't make assumptions, who ask lots of questions and then listen to the answers. Everyone is different. When a kid tells you what's important to them, that's what they want you to do.