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Shame.

"Unfollowed" Into Happiness

Josh Sabarra | Posted 11.25.2014 | Gay Voices
Josh Sabarra

The decision to write an honest and candid memoir about "coming out" and living life authentically should be accompanied by a list of side effects similar to that of the antidepressant Lexapro: confusion, headaches and sleeping problems.

White Lies

Sandra Ramos O’Briant | Posted 11.24.2014 | Latino Voices
Sandra Ramos O’Briant

My brother and I accepted our mother's version of the affair that produced our sister with few questions, even though Lydia looks completely different from the rest of us. Mom is a long-legged Latina, but my brother and I take after our father. We're both tall blonds. Lydia is petite and cinnamon-coffee dark with tightly curled blue-black hair.

Shame, Shame Go Away

Kim 'Skipper' Corbin | Posted 11.18.2014 | Women
Kim 'Skipper' Corbin

And so I am writing a new ending when it comes to my relationship with my body. I choose to rock this statuesque physique from deep within. I choose to acknowledge my body as the incredible ally that it is, instead of using it as a container for my judgment and disdain.

Stop Making Cancer Patients Feel Guilty

Barbara Jacoby | Posted 11.17.2014 | Healthy Living
Barbara Jacoby

I don't know what caused my cancer, nor does anyone else, for that matter. I plan to enjoy the holidays and if I choose to have some extra cookies or whatever, so what

Burdened With Guilt Over Past Parenting Mistakes

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 11.12.2014 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

There is no way to undo the actions of your past. But if you do the work of mourning for what you and your children have lost, you will find yourself more available to fully enjoy the life you are living with your children now.

Here's Why Veterans Don't Talk About It

David W. Peters | Posted 11.10.2014 | Impact
David W. Peters

In my conversations with veterans I often hear from their family members that, "He just never talks about it." Stories connect people, and veterans' families and friends want that connection, but veterans still don't talk about it. Why?

Taking Off the Armor of My 'Choice'

Justine Brooks Froelker | Posted 10.22.2014 | Parents
Justine Brooks Froelker

I fought really hard to be a mother. I paid lots of money to be a mother. I endured painful tests and procedures to be a mother. I put my body and my surrogate's through synthetic hormonal hell to be a mother. I put my faith and trust in many doctors and other humans to be a mother.

A Story of Pregnancy Loss

Kelly Fig Smith | Posted 10.15.2014 | Parents
Kelly Fig Smith

Many of the feelings I experienced soon after our loss were expected: sadness, deep grief, anger. But what surprised me most, and what I wasn't prepared for was the shame -- the overwhelming feeling that I had failed in the way that mattered most, and that it could never be forgiven.

The 9 Most Overlooked Threats To A Marriage

Kelly M. Flanagan | Posted 10.17.2014 | Divorce
Kelly M. Flanagan

I feel bad for marital communication, because it gets blamed for everything. For generations, in survey after survey, couples have rated marital communication as the number one problem in marriage. It's not.

What to Say When Other New Parents Ask How It's Going

Tracy Cutchlow | Posted 10.09.2014 | Parents
Tracy Cutchlow

I remember trying to get the real scoop on parenting, good and bad, before I had a baby. "It's hard," new parents would say, and then quickly paper over that tiny admission. "But of course I wouldn't trade it for anything!" It sounded suspicious to me. But once I had a baby, I followed suit.

Secrets Suck

Maria Senise | Posted 10.09.2014 | Healthy Living
Maria Senise

Has anyone heard the song "Secrets" by Mary Lambert? Lyrically, it's one of my new favorites. Here are a few of the most poignant lines, the ones that...

Maybe Obesity Isn't the Problem

Kelly Coffey | Posted 10.02.2014 | Healthy Living
Kelly Coffey

In my case, obesity was a symptom, and not the problem itself. I wish someone had told me before I had gastric bypass surgery that my real issues were shame and addiction. Getting thin wasn't my solution -- it was what made me miserable enough to finally get well.

I Am Not Anonymous

Allison Hudson | Posted 09.30.2014 | Healthy Living
Allison Hudson

Addiction is wretched, but recovery is righteous. Recovery is possible. Recovery is living up to the spirit that is me. I can't imagine why I would I ever choose to keep that anonymous. It's who I am.

Your Bogeyman: Whether You Stalk Him or Face Him...Defeat Him

Michael Rohrer | Posted 11.25.2014 | Gay Voices
Michael Rohrer

I recently saw a production of Stalking the Bogeyman at New World Stages in NYC. The play tells the true story of David Holthouse: the rape he endured in 1978 as a 7-year old, and his plan, as an adult, to murder his rapist.

How I Found Opportunity In Sharing My Secret Disorder

Sandy Rosenblatt | Posted 11.25.2014 | Women
Sandy Rosenblatt

I was positive people wouldn't accept me if they knew I pulled out my hair. And I was even more positive that if they did find out, if they didn't judge me for pulling, they'd reject me for the fact that I didn't know why I was doing it, and that I wasn't able to stop myself.

Shame Is More Stressful Than Work

Don Joseph Goewey | Posted 11.25.2014 | Healthy Living
Don Joseph Goewey

Eventually, a shame-based mind represses its mistakes to avoid feeling bad, preventing the possibility of learning from a mistake, which only increases the likelihood of repeating the blunder. Thus, mistakes can't teach us anything. We become afraid to take risks, which limits our growth.

9/11... A Rude Awakening

David Kanegis | Posted 11.11.2014 | Fifty
David Kanegis

Prior to this heinous series of events, the historical question most often asked of Baby Boomers was, "do you remember where you were when President Kennedy was shot?" I don't know a single one of my contemporaries who doesn't.

My Coworker Shamed Me (And I Let Him)

Literally, Darling | Posted 11.04.2014 | Women
Literally, Darling

I just don't care what people think. And usually I don't. But being repeatedly questioned, being made to feel like my life choices and my interests -- the ones that make me happy and content -- were wrong and somehow inadequate, was like a hard blow to the chest.

The Shame Files

Jennifer Pastiloff | Posted 11.03.2014 | Women
Jennifer Pastiloff

I'd take that old snapshot out from the back of my mind and dust it off a little before peering closer. You were beautiful. You were behind the wheel I'd say to the photograph, before putting it back with a few others I'd saved.

The Genius of Marian: Remarkable Alzheimer's Documentary

Marie Marley | Posted 11.02.2014 | Fifty
Marie Marley

The Genius of Marian is an intimate, poetic documentary about Pam White and her family as they all struggle to deal with Pam's Alzheimer's disease.

Getting to Gay

Henry V | Posted 10.29.2014 | Gay Voices
Henry V

What the hell are you doing here, anyway? OK, that's it. You need to get your ass home! You're fucking 40 years old! You've got kids! You have a wife! It's winter 2009. Just a few months ago everything changed when I acknowledged to my wife Evelyn that I'm gay.

I Am a Woman Reclaiming Body Trust

Hilary Kinavey & Dana Sturtevant | Posted 10.25.2014 | Women
Hilary Kinavey & Dana Sturtevant

My hunger, my appetites, my longings, my skin, my bones, my size are mine for the taking. I take back my worthiness, my belonging in the world of beautiful and diverse beings. I live without apology for the straight lines and curves, living tissue, vulnerable heart that hold my living, breathing manifested story.

Depression and Addiction: We Must Break the Stigmas

Dean Dauphinais | Posted 10.22.2014 | Healthy Living
Dean Dauphinais

The reason so many people don't get the treatment they need is simple: Mental illness and addiction are still shrouded in stigma. It's 2014, but people suffering from mental illness often times don't want to ask for professional help because they fear being labeled as "crazy" or a "whack job."

Are American Parents the Most Insecure?

Dr. Jessica Michaelson | Posted 10.15.2014 | Parents
Dr. Jessica Michaelson

I don't want my children to feel the anxiety I feel, and that I see all around me. I don't want them to frantically research and read and look outside of themselves to determine what is right from wrong. I want them to be inspired by our family, and feel that they have inherited traditions, values, and wisdom that they can trust.

Shining a Light on Our Dark Secret

Janet M. Neal | Posted 10.14.2014 | Healthy Living
Janet M. Neal

On my 11 hour drive home from vacation yesterday, I listened to about three hours of analysis, commentary, and dialogue on the horrors currently occur...