Tweets Of The Week
“'you already told that story' oh so you hate recycling"
"My son just informed me it’s illegal for 9 year olds to eat broccoli."
"a candle is just a pet fire"
"need to eat a cosmic brownie rn i want to feel like i’m eating radioactive plastic"
WHAT'S HAPPENING
"the VMAs are funny when you realize they’re all these celebrities are crammed inside Newark, NJ"
"Life with astigmatism is more romantic because every light is a twinkle light."
"I hate to say it, but ever since Blake Shelton was named sexiest man alive things have been in shambles."
"bar trivia is great if you want to socialize while also actively taking a test"
"it happened to me: i finally answered an email i had been putting off & the person responded right away & now i'm back to square one"
"The day my toddler started asking 'what’s that?' was the day I realized how little I know about everything."