POLITICS
03/28/2008 02:45 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

In Case You Hadn't Noticed, Dennis Kucinich Has An Awesome Marriage

Whether or not Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich wins the Democratic nomination - and, uhm...he won't - there's one thing that nobody can deny: the man is straight PIMP. While John Kerry and George W. Bush were fighting over who was going to end up stuck with the responsibility of running the country, the Kooch was looking for love, and he eventually found it in the form of Brit Elizabeth Harper. Statuesque, ginger-haired, whip-smart, and hotter than a marshmallow in a campfire, Elizabeth can't help but be the most interesting thing in the room whenever she finds herself in proximity to the Democratic field. This noted peacenik's face may not have launched a thousand ships of war, but even Joe Biden cops to wanting to see her "topless towers of Ilium."

A lengthy piece from the Washington Post's Libby Copeland gives readers the essential blow-by-blow of their relationship. And frankly, it's so filled with wacky cosmic coincidences that it makes you wonder if maybe Kucinich isn't totally attuned to the mysteries of the known universe after all. As Copeland relates:

The story of Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich involves: Indian nuns, a bust of Gandhi, a portrait of "conscious light," a mystical opal ring, congressional legislation, an Indian guru and the meeting of souls. Also: Dennis' good friend for decades, Shirley MacLaine, the actress and New Age author, who played host to the couple's second date.

There's lots of other details that make us really goopy with happiness for Kucinich. Like the part where Representatives Stephanie Tubbs Jones (D-OH) and Maxine Waters (D-CA) are portrayed as his special gal-pals, to whom he first gushed of his love for Liz. And the fact that the only hatred Kucinich harbors in his peace-loving heart is for Tim Russert - which makes so much sense! And the weird handmade banner from his 2004 presidential bid that clairvoyantly predicted Elizabeth's existence. But this was our favorite part:

Their days are filled with these sorts of moments, as when they go out for Chinese food and the fortune in Dennis's cookie tells him he has "integrity and consistency." ("Isn't that amazing?" Elizabeth says.)

As the fortune cookie joke goes: Integrity and consistency...in bed? Yeah, somehow, we always figured.