Consider: the epicenter of today's great tabloid fodder is Amy "Slag Heap" Winehouse. The scabby soul siren consistently delivers. This week alone, she got a slap on the wrist for assault, cheated on her husband, showed her hickey to the paps, and answered the door in her bra.
It's no surprise Winehouse herself serves as a black hole of celebrity misbehavior. Recently, scientists have proven that an actual force field radiates out from Winehouse's person, a phenomenon known as the Winehouse Vortex. This irresistible gravitational slag-force attracts anything in her orbit, dragging it down to the lowest depths of the four food groups of celebrity gossip: career, appearance, drugs and relationships.