BUSINESS
11/20/2008 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Parting Hedge Funder Andrew Lahde Writes Scathing Goodbye Missive

A little less than a year ago I wrote about Andrew Lahde, a California-based hedge fund manager who earned his investors 1,000% on their money with huge bets on the collapse of subprime.

Now he's closing up shop, and the missive he sent his investors is quite possibly the most brilliant piece of writing since Don Quixote. You can read the whole thing here, including Lahde's thoughts on aristocracy, meritocracy, marijuana legalization, Paxil, alternative energy and BlackBerries. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking."

::Read the full story here
::Read Andrew Lahde's "goodbye" letter here

MORE EXCERPTS:

ON WEALTH AND LEGACIES:
"I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing."

ON GOVERNMENT:
"George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man's interest...."

ON MARIJUANA AND HEMP:
"At a time when rhetoric is flying about becoming more self-sufficient in terms of energy, why is it illegal to grow this plant in this country? Ah, the female. The evil female plant -- marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other additive drugs..."

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