03/14/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

FDA Approves Depressant For The Annoyingly Cheerful (VIDEO)

The Onion took on annoyingly happy people this week with their report about a new drug that promises to tamp down their joy. Some critics say Despondex is unnecessary, that the same effects can be achieved by not exercising and visiting nursing homes, but the makers are optimistic. They think the drug will reduce the number of costume and theme parties by 40%.