COMEDY
04/04/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair (VIDEO)

In the following video The Onion shows us an alternate reality, one in which politicians apologize before they have affairs. Rep. Gregory White (D - Not Real) apologizes to his wife, his constituents, his children and (most importantly) Pillsbury buttermilk biscuits for what he's about to use them for in the scandal he's running late to.

WATCH:

Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair