04/26/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Politico 'Reports' Rahm Emanuel Looking For Robert Gibbs

So, Politico, they have this thing called called "POLITICO 44," which they assert is a "Living Diary Of The Obama Presidency." And like all Politico things, this site has to WORK THE POWER EQUATION and WIN BRUNCHTIME and so everything that a reporter sees or does or observes has to become news somehow. So what ends up happening is that this "Living Diary" becomes a farm for minutiae. I think this screenshot says it all:

Yes! In a minute, all you need to know from the town hall meeting. BUT FIRST: Grave doings at court! One member of this administration wanted to know where another member of the administration was, and was reducing to PUBLICLY INQUIRING AFTER HIS WHEREABOUTS! This news shall rattle the walls of existence! It shall be recorded, on a website, for posterity!

And so, here's the POWER EQUATION: (MUN plus JAR)URGENT=!!!, or:

totally mundane event PLUS dollop of "insider" jargon ("upper press") x URGENT LEADER ("Spotted!") = START CLEARING OUT ROOM AT THE NEWSEUM, FOR THIS STUFF!!!

Here's a bonus: This is a five second video of Valerie Jarrett handing Rahm Emanuel a Blackberry. It was picked up by Politico, as news, yesterday. I...I...I just...don't know why!

Imagine if you will, the dedicated people who perform historical re-enactments at Colonial Williamsburg. And now, imagine what it would be like if their re-enactments were based not on diaries and letters and the careful recordings of a rich history, but instead, on texts provided by Politico. And now, scream at the top of your lungs, for a million hours.

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