05/17/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Tea Party Fail: What Happened To The Million Teabags?

As many of you know, the centerpiece of yesterday's Teabag LARPing Performance Art Fair was to be the unveiling of one million teabags, which were to symbolize one million symbolic teabags, fighting socialism. These teabags could not be dumped in the muddy waters of the Potomac, to the delight of kayakers, because that's illegal. So the teabaggers were going to take their act to Lafayette Park, and dump all of them on a tarp -- by which we mean an actual tarp, not a Troubled Asset Relief Program. That would have been far too clever a joke for these people.

But! The State got up to straight up TRAMPLING of the RIGHTS, and put the kibosh on the teabag display. Which left the bags back in the inside of a truck, borne back ceaselessly into the past or something.

And so, that left people with one unresolved question: What happened to the teabags? Did they end up on a cross country jaunt? Did they get sent to the Dharma Initiative? Did anyone come to the realization: "Hey! I bet we could make tea with these things?" As it happens, the press stayed on the case.

From today's Washington Post:

Finally, the truck's driver, who had been wandering around town for hours after an overnight drive from Georgia, found a place to unload the cargo: 12 floors up in a downtown advocacy group.

That's right. One million teabags finally found a home in a conference room at the Competitive Enterprise Institute, JUST AS NOSTRADAMUS SAID THEY WOULD. The Post got a picture of the greatest political demonstration to ever take place in a downtown conference room.

Gaze on that image, and tell me if your patriotic heart doesn't swell with, "Seriously, guys, you need to move these things by three so we can go over the new HR policies."

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