Colbert To Jonathan Safran Foer (VIDEO): Free Range Means Chickens Run Over Fields Of Flowers, Make Love

"Eating Animals" author Jonathan Safran Foer appeared on The Colbert Report Monday night to discuss the U.S. farm system, arguing that it is "perfectly antithetical to American values."

Foer explains that 99 percent of agriculture is factory farming, and that while many people seem to care about the conditions on these farms-- free-range, cage-free, etc. labeling is the fastest growing sector in the food industry-- "it's all b.s. ... it means nothing."

"No, free range means that the chickens get up in the morning and they run over fields, fields of flowers," Colbert rebutted. "And at the end of the day they make love, and from this lovemaking an egg emerges."

It's a pretty picture, but one that Foer immediately dispels-- "the Thanksgiving turkey isn't even capable of sexually reproducing anymore."

And then Colbert does what only he could do without being offensive-- he eats bacon in front of him.

"Oh, you can really taste the suffering," Colbert bemoaned.