07/27/2010 01:04 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Realistic Sobriety Tests Rely On Drunk's Love Of Pizza, 'Piano Man' (VIDEO)

Field sobriety tests usually consist of walking in a straight line, counting steps, or saying the alphabet backwards. Bo-ring! If you've ever been drunk before, you know there are much easier and more entertaining ways to tell if someone has had too much to drink. As this video featuring funny man Matt McCarthy demonstrates, cops could have a lot more fun if they just carried around leftover pizza (with ranch dressing, of course), extra cigarettes, or boomboxes playing "Piano Man" while on patrol. If the would-be drunk starts to sing along to Billy Joel, or can't resist the pizza, you know he or she's imbibed a few too many spirits this evening. Wouldn't that be more fun for everyone involved? Well, except the person being arrested. That just sucks.