05/16/2011 12:34 pm ET Updated Jul 16, 2011

ONN: Congress Debates New Sex-Based American Dreams (VIDEO)

Is the American Dream really dead? According to the Onion News Network it is, and on top of that, it's time we came up with a newer, sexier dream to which Americans can aspire.

The always funny Brooke Alvarez introduces this new movement in Congress on "The Factzone" in the clip below. Aside from the obvious sex-based dreams like "Sex with a B-list celebrity," other dreams Congress is considering implementing include "Create your own novelty tourist attraction" and "riding in a submarine."

Hear the rest in the clip below and catch "Onion News Network" Fridays at 10:00 p.m. EST on IFC.


Live: Congress Debates New Sex-Based American Dreams