Stephen Colbert returned to his alma mater of Northwestern University to give a commencement address on Friday, and to no one's great surprise, he brought the house down.
(Scroll down to see highlights from the speech.)
The fake news anchor joked that the school had gone "soft" for taking a snow day after a blizzard dumped 20 inches on the Chicago area and left the city paralyzed for days.
He also poked fun at the "f*cksaw" controversy from the spring, in which a human sexuality professor held a live demonstration after class of a sex toy that brought a naked woman on stage to orgasm.
“I saw some pictures of the lab equipment, and I’m thinking you may have been scared of sex forever,” Colbert said to the crowd of graduates, according to the Chicago Tribune. “It might have actually been a stealth abstinence program or a viral ad program for True Value hardware."
Colbert graduated from NU's School of Communication in 1986, where he majored in theater. He also performed on an improv comedy team at the school, the No Fun Mud Piranhas. He shared the stage in that group with David Schwimmer, future star of "Friends" and co-founder of Chicago's Lookingglass Theater, which just nabbed a Tony for best regional theater.
Watch highlights from the talk: